Who could possibly know God’s plan? Why must a disability be something that needs to be shed for that life to be worthwhile? Growing through life’s ups and downs is what we all have to do. Whether that life is easy or hard or even short or long is not guaranteed for any of us. Does a hard life make one bitter or reflective? Does an easy life make one generous or selfish?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so hard. I am an atheist but my best friend was deeply religious (in a progressive/social justice oriented kind of way). She gave birth to a severely disabled child who will never speak, never be fed through anything but a G tube and will ever live independently. One year later, my friend's healthy, young dad unexpectedly died from a brain aneurysm. She had a complete crisis of faith that has not abated almost 9 years later. How can anyone say that this was god's plan?

Perhaps people say it's god's plan because they can't think of anything else to say. As for your friend, 9 years is a long time to be in a crisis state.

Is there something in Christianity about God having a plan? Maybe God doesn't have a plan. Maybe there is no God. Either one would be better than thinking God had set her and her family up for such misery.

God’s plans for us are not of this world, but of the next. What happens here in human life is designed to make us grow and shape us for what is to come. I don’t at all think God is setting people up for misery, but rather trying to direct us where we need to go to eternal life. God wants to walk with us through the world we live in that is broken by sin and suffering. He’s not causing the suffering but is offering us help through it - if we are open to that.

So let's say there are two kids with different, but equally serious, disabilities, born to two different families. One kid sheds the disability thanks to medical treatments but the other kid cannot, because no effective medical treatment has yet been developed for that disability.

What is God's plan in a situation like this?.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so hard. I am an atheist but my best friend was deeply religious (in a progressive/social justice oriented kind of way). She gave birth to a severely disabled child who will never speak, never be fed through anything but a G tube and will ever live independently. One year later, my friend's healthy, young dad unexpectedly died from a brain aneurysm. She had a complete crisis of faith that has not abated almost 9 years later. How can anyone say that this was god's plan?

Perhaps people say it's god's plan because they can't think of anything else to say. As for your friend, 9 years is a long time to be in a crisis state.

Is there something in Christianity about God having a plan? Maybe God doesn't have a plan. Maybe there is no God. Either one would be better than thinking God had set her and her family up for such misery.

God’s plans for us are not of this world, but of the next. What happens here in human life is designed to make us grow and shape us for what is to come. I don’t at all think God is setting people up for misery, but rather trying to direct us where we need to go to eternal life. God wants to walk with us through the world we live in that is broken by sin and suffering. He’s not causing the suffering but is offering us help through it - if we are open to that.

Disabled children are not "life lessons" for their parents. They are not broken by sin and suffering. All of this is offensive. Can you not see that?

This isn't about "Christianity" this is about one woman's beliefs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so hard. I am an atheist but my best friend was deeply religious (in a progressive/social justice oriented kind of way). She gave birth to a severely disabled child who will never speak, never be fed through anything but a G tube and will ever live independently. One year later, my friend's healthy, young dad unexpectedly died from a brain aneurysm. She had a complete crisis of faith that has not abated almost 9 years later. How can anyone say that this was god's plan?

Perhaps people say it's god's plan because they can't think of anything else to say. As for your friend, 9 years is a long time to be in a crisis state.

Is there something in Christianity about God having a plan? Maybe God doesn't have a plan. Maybe there is no God. Either one would be better than thinking God had set her and her family up for such misery.

God’s plans for us are not of this world, but of the next. What happens here in human life is designed to make us grow and shape us for what is to come. I don’t at all think God is setting people up for misery, but rather trying to direct us where we need to go to eternal life. God wants to walk with us through the world we live in that is broken by sin and suffering. He’s not causing the suffering but is offering us help through it - if we are open to that.

Anonymous wrote:This is so hard. I am an atheist but my best friend was deeply religious (in a progressive/social justice oriented kind of way). She gave birth to a severely disabled child who will never speak, never be fed through anything but a G tube and will ever live independently. One year later, my friend's healthy, young dad unexpectedly died from a brain aneurysm. She had a complete crisis of faith that has not abated almost 9 years later. How can anyone say that this was god's plan?

Perhaps people say it's god's plan because they can't think of anything else to say. As for your friend, 9 years is a long time to be in a crisis state.

Is there something in Christianity about God having a plan? Maybe God doesn't have a plan. Maybe there is no God. Either one would be better than thinking God had set her and her family up for such misery.

Anonymous wrote:I was talking to someone about a child who has severe autism. Her response was that Jesus call heal those with disabilities. After going back and forth I said she was offensive by continuing to talk about Jesus healing the sick when most likely this child will live his life this way. I appreciate her faith, but it comes off overbearing and insensitive. What else could I have said to make my point!?

"He's sure taking his time...."

Anonymous wrote:Her beliefs about what Jesus will or will not do for her own child are none of your business.

If she had made the comment about your own child, you would have been right to say something. I agree that her comments were ableist, but her religious beliefs are not my business.

You misread.

I wouldn't generalize about Christianity from one encounter with one wackadoodle.

This is so hard. I am an atheist but my best friend was deeply religious (in a progressive/social justice oriented kind of way). She gave birth to a severely disabled child who will never speak, never be fed through anything but a G tube and will ever live independently. One year later, my friend's healthy, young dad unexpectedly died from a brain aneurysm. She had a complete crisis of faith that has not abated almost 9 years later. How can anyone say that this was god's plan?

Her beliefs about what Jesus will or will not do for her own child are none of your business.

If she had made the comment about your own child, you would have been right to say something. I agree that her comments were ableist, but her religious beliefs are not my business.

I have a child with a rare disease (not a developmental disability, but something with issues visible to strangers) and I guess I understand where people from my church are coming from, so I don't fault them. Unless you've lived through something like this, I don't think you understand the right thing to say, or what is going to actually make the parent uncomfortable.

Often when your child is sick, you just want someone to listen, but a lot of Christians don't understand this. They feel they need to say something about prayer and healing when it's not really that helpful. It's something that frustrates me as a Christian.

This is one of the worst parts of having a severely disabled child — fending off the wackos.

People with disabilities don't need to be "fixed", they are made in the image of God.

Heather Kirn Lanier says it better than I ever could.

https://www.americamagazine.org/2017/02/17/lanier-was-jesus-crappy-disability-advocate

I was talking to someone about a child who has severe autism. Her response was that Jesus call heal those with disabilities. After going back and forth I said she was offensive by continuing to talk about Jesus healing the sick when most likely this child will live his life this way. I appreciate her faith, but it comes off overbearing and insensitive. What else could I have said to make my point!?