Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

indian/asian?

No, actually White (3rd gen) Europeans. My children can and do have a choice in how and what they want to spend their money on. We will finance things that we value - healthy food, clothes and gear, education, travel etc. If they want to spend money on things we do not approve of - booze, cigarettes, opiates, designer clothes - they can actually earn money and pay for it themselves. My eldest wanted to go on a European tour and saved money from his internship to do so. We thought that the trip was a good idea and paid for his travel expenses - he used our FF miles to travel, we pitched in for the hotels and he paid for the food and other expenses. He never asked to go to the beach on Spring Break when he was in HS, and if he had I would not have paid for it, even if I would not have stopped him. Another DC has a hobby that requires expensive equipments and that is what she asks and gets for during Christmas.

I don't think parents have to pay for anything that they don't approve of for their children. Be it books, food, clothes, education etc. Thankfully, we have been lucky and our kids have not shown any interest in conspicuous consumption till now. It could also be a millennial thing, in that these youngsters value experiences over amassing material goods.

Anonymous wrote:Until my kids got jobs, I gave them allowance. I expected them to use their allowance for gifts for family birthday and Christmas, whatever they wanted to buy (think Legos, jewelry, toys, make up beyond the basics that I buy, etc), and food that I don't normally buy (like gum, candy, snacks they want if I have packed snacks for our outings).

My kids started working at 16. After that, they had to pay for their own outings (I still pay for family outings) and expenses related to working (uniforms and training), gas for the car, car insurance (though I have gifted car insurance to them for birthdays and graduations). Once work became full time, they had to start paying for most everything.

I am laughing about the PP who won't let her kids get a car until age 21. That was the first thing mine saved for and bought. My oldest had one at age 17, which he paid for on his own, including what it took to make it run.

I think the real issue here is when do you intend to teach your kids money management. We've discussed it all along, but until they started working, didn't go full force with it. So until they got jobs, the consequences of not spending wisely and saving was that they night not be able to get that Lego set or must have lipstick. But, if you have kids who are ready earlier and you go with big allowances, you can start the money management process earlier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

indian/asian?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

Far too controlling.

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.

Anonymous wrote:Right now I pay for everything for my two teens in HS and my college student and will probably do so for some time to come.

They are frugal and careful with money and so they do not go berserk with my credit cards. They are pretty health conscious, and they do not eat junk food. They go out to eat occasionally with they friends, but their friends are also watching their wallets and no one goes for very high end meals. They have the flexibility at home to pick any cuisine they want, but it has to be balanced, nutritious and organic as much as possible. Even if they eat something from a take out - say some fish tacos from Baja Fresh - they finish the meal with either some pieces of fruit or veggies, some nuts etc. They do not smoke, drink or do drugs. We insist on all organic dairy and meat products and that cost a pretty penny but we want them to be healthy.

We pay for all clothes and gear, but it has to meet our standards of quality. They have to be well dressed and wear weather and occasion appropriate attire. Our family does not care for (nor will pay for outrageous prices for designer clothes and accessories), so there is no reason for us to make them pay for their shoes, bags and belts. They got their drivers license as soon as possible after taking driver ed courses, but they are not allowed to get a vehicle of their own until they are 21. They go to school in the school bus. They drive at home with us for all errands, trips etc. My college kid takes public transport, metro, carpool, or Uber and we pay for it. Any money they are gifted is put in an account under our name and will go towards paying for their first car. We pay for all their school, college and EC expenses and will do so till the time they are in college. My college going DC has got merit scholarship and they saves us a bundle.

They have not asked us for anything yet that has made us want them to pay for it. Any monies that was given to them till date by us or relatives have gone in our account. We will pay for everything till they get their first job. We save 50% of our salary, so we want them to do the same from the very first paycheck that they earn. If they are in the same city as us when they start their first job, we expect that they will be smart enough to stay with us and save on rent, and use that money for down payment to their first home. Our parents paid for our education and gave us significant leg-up in life. We were encouraged to save 50% of our pay, and we expect them to do the same when they start earning money. The magic of compound interest has made us comfortable in life, and we expect them to remember that lesson.