Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom retired at 55 and her and my dad bought a house down the street from me. They see their grandchildren several times a week and are super close to them. They renovate their house and they travel a lot. They also bought a house in the city my sister lives in and travel between the two houses. Dad is still working, but teleworks full time and is an executive at a large company. It works for him.

My inlaws plan on retiring when my SIL has children so they can be close to them (which does make us feel like chopped liver). They've continued working and my baby and toddler rarely see them other than the times we travel to them since they work every weekend.

I'm confused. Your retired parents live down the street from you, and see your kids several times a week. Your inlaws basically plan to do the same thing when/if your SIL has kids. This upsets you because...???

+1

FIL retired early b/c the company he was president of was bought out and it left him in great financial shape to retire. DH says it was the worst thing for him as he saw his father change from a vibrant, active man to a total homebody who sat in a chair all day and read the paper. MIL is a social butterfly and in retirement found a million things to do. FIL would go wherever MIL dragged him but had no motivation to do much of anything himself. His health declined rapidly and he passed away a few years ago.

DH has already said he's afraid of retirement because he is afraid he will follow in FIL's footsteps. I can totally see it too. Whenever I suggest we go do something, he's always like "meh..." and starts whining about how it's going to take too long or be too difficult. So he is going to work until about 65 and I'm going to retire a few years after him (I'm younger) so that we can spend some time together while we still are in decent physical shape. That's the plan anyway. Who knows what curveball life will throw our way.

Anonymous wrote:Near me most women go back to work at 55.

What's "near you"?

I retired at 54 from the best job in the world and with a great retirement plus savings so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. It's the best decision I've ever made. I'm busy almost everyday doing something plus many of my co-workers retired at the same age so I have plenty of friends to hang out with. Wife also retired shortly after me and we do two big vacations (Europe, Caribbean, Hawaii, etc...) a year plus many smaller ones.

Best life ever and I wouldn't change a thing. You only live once just remember that.

Near me most women go back to work at 55.

You either enjoy the heck out of it and live it UP, or you are bored and lonely and depressed and get old before your time. It really is dependent on the type of person you are, and how you handle it.

Full disclosure, I am speaking not from experience but from watching many of my parents' friends go through this. There are a few where both people in the couple retired early (around 52), and they are living it UP. Traveling together, going to matinees, playing golf/tennis, taking day drives to VA wine country or the MD shore, going to museums, going to long leisurely dinners and strolling hand in hand...seriously, they're acting/living like newlyweds. They do things like rent an apartment right on the beach for 2 months and go "live" there temporarily, etc. Sky (and financial situation) is the limit, really.

It's obviously different if just one person retires. My mom did, at 55. My dad kept working, he really likes his job and is also the kind of person who always has to be DOING something - he's not great at downtime or living in the moment. He would be the first person to tell you that - he would drive himself and everyone else around him crazy if he retired right now. Luckily he knows that, so he kept working and likely will as long as he's able (although will obviously plan to progressively scale back). My mom had a tough time initially, then adjusted her outlook and gave herself permission to get out there - she's very happy now. She visits my siblings and I, who don't live in the area, and is able to stay and hang out / see her grandkids. She completely redid their house, which has served as a fun creative outlet. After feeling lonely for 6 months or so, she found a great group of women through walking / fitness / tennis clubs. She seriously has a more active social life than I do these days. She's taking cooking classes and is writing for fun. She is doing all the things she enjoys, and is enjoying the heck out of the time she's looked forward to for awhile now.

But like I said...some people base their entire identity on what they do/did for a living. That kind of person is liable to feel directionless, purposeless, and deeply depressed if they sudddnlt don't feel like they're "needed". If you are the type that needs a lot of structure in your life, make sure you create some for yourself when you retire. And if you retire before your spouse, give yourself permission to do / explore things on your own (or, that is, without them)

Anonymous wrote:My mom retired at 55 and her and my dad bought a house down the street from me. They see their grandchildren several times a week and are super close to them. They renovate their house and they travel a lot. They also bought a house in the city my sister lives in and travel between the two houses. Dad is still working, but teleworks full time and is an executive at a large company. It works for him.

My inlaws plan on retiring when my SIL has children so they can be close to them (which does make us feel like chopped liver). They've continued working and my baby and toddler rarely see them other than the times we travel to them since they work every weekend.

I'm confused. Your retired parents live down the street from you, and see your kids several times a week. Your inlaws basically plan to do the same thing when/if your SIL has kids. This upsets you because...???

Anonymous wrote:My husband retired from law enforcement in August when he turned 50. We are thankful that he is alive. He enjoys working, but doesn't want to work a lot, so he's training for a job as a school bus driver right now. He can? retire again in 5 years, and have two retirement checks coming in. He gets great insurance through his LEO retirement, and we have lots of time to spend together, which we really enjoy.

Amen to that! LEO is a tough job and seems to get tougher all the time.

I retired at 51. I learned that there hardly anyone my age available to "go play" with. All my friends my age are still out there in the rat race. So if I ask them if they want to go see a play or an art exhibit or something, they say no sorry. Tired, stuff to do.

I also learned that there are a million gazillion needs for volunteers in many capacities. And once they find out you are retired you are on their radar. And I learned that it costs money to volunteer, what with gas costs and other expenses.

My husband retired from law enforcement in August when he turned 50. We are thankful that he is alive. He enjoys working, but doesn't want to work a lot, so he's training for a job as a school bus driver right now. He can? retire again in 5 years, and have two retirement checks coming in. He gets great insurance through his LEO retirement, and we have lots of time to spend together, which we really enjoy.

My mom retired at 55 and her and my dad bought a house down the street from me. They see their grandchildren several times a week and are super close to them. They renovate their house and they travel a lot. They also bought a house in the city my sister lives in and travel between the two houses. Dad is still working, but teleworks full time and is an executive at a large company. It works for him.

My inlaws plan on retiring when my SIL has children so they can be close to them (which does make us feel like chopped liver). They've continued working and my baby and toddler rarely see them other than the times we travel to them since they work every weekend.

My inlaws did this. retired in 50s. FIL loves it - has hobbies, is a very calm and placid person. happy with his company and it has worked well for him.

Its been terrible for MIL on the other hand. She is a much more dynamic person and has spent the last 20 years trying to fill her time with hobbies etc. But she needs to feel shes adding real value so its been bad for her. She has become very needy and clinging.

So it depends on your personality i think

For me it meant time with my horses. I didnt have enough money or time while raising my kids but after college tuition was done and the mortgage was paid off I retired and rode all day every day!

My dog training classes are filled with women like this. Kids are gone, they retire, and puppy becomes the light of their life. Many of them have competed at national levels because they have the time and flexibility to make it happen.

I aim to have enough saved to retire at 55-ish. My SO would likely continue working for another 5-10 years after that.

What's life like when you retire that early? Surprises? Disappointments? I'd appreciate perspective from those who've done it.