Anonymous wrote:Someone I know suffers from hypochondria (and other things) and talks about cancer a lot, too much. In fact, it's a new cancer every week. And other serious diseases. Family is at the end of their ropes.
This person visits psychiatrist, not shrink.

They probably need CBT along with the meds. Hypochondria can’t really be treated with meds alone.

Anonymous wrote:He sounds like he may have anxiety. His thoughts are repeating and gettin stuck.

He needs to see someone to have his mental health assessed. As hard as it is for you to hear him express his thoughts. think how it is for him living with these thoughts in his head 24/7.

His insecurities are not that uncommon but less typical for men. Often that degree of perseverating and need for reassurance is a sign of pretty intense anxiety.

+1 This is anxiety, OP, with possible OCD - and he’s relying on you to soothe him again and again. He needs treatment.

Either insist he see a therapist for his out of control anxiety or you see one to figure out how to put some boundaries in place. If you don't take action I can guarantee you will not last long in this marriage.

Someone I know suffers from hypochondria (and other things) and talks about cancer a lot, too much. In fact, it's a new cancer every week. And other serious diseases. Family is at the end of their ropes.
This person visits psychiatrist, not shrink.

Sounds like you're talking about yourself. Go see a real therapist.

He sounds like he may have anxiety. His thoughts are repeating and gettin stuck.

He needs to see someone to have his mental health assessed. As hard as it is for you to hear him express his thoughts. think how it is for him living with these thoughts in his head 24/7.

His insecurities are not that uncommon but less typical for men. Often that degree of perseverating and need for reassurance is a sign of pretty intense anxiety.

I would video him doing this and play it for him, and insist he get therapy. I can't imagine living like this for a week.

Anonymous wrote:Oh my god! Is this a new thing, OP? I don't have the patience to coddle someone like that. I would flat out say "gary this is the fourth time today you've asked if I think you're fat. It sounds like YOU think you're fat. If that's how you feel, why don't you go work out or change your eating or both?"

"Gary, it's hard to listen to you complain about how you feel since you aren't willing to use the neti pot, flonase or go see a doctor. You ONLY want to complain but not DO anything to make yourself feel better."

"Gary cut it out. It's not rude of me to read in my own home. You've spent an hour talking about yourself. I listened. I can now spend an hour doing whatever I want, and I want to read. Why don't you go use this hour to work out, since you think you're fat."

I have no patience for that kind of crap.

I love you D.C. Moms! You make my life complete. I really needed this laugh. Good luck OP. It will get better.

He needs therapy. My husband is prone to this - it’s based in self doubt and insecurity. For him it’s because his parents suck at being parents and he’s used to them abruptly turning on him when he wasn’t pleasing them/kissing their asses.

Therapy will help, but it’s not a quick fix

WTH! Was he like this when you were dating, after kids,... when did this start?

Not normal. Very manipulative. He needs his head checked.

There is absolutely nothing normal about this OP. When did it start?

An occasional bout of neediness would be one thing, but this is excessive. I would insist that he get therapy to figure out why he is constantly demanding reassurance.

Oh my god! Is this a new thing, OP? I don't have the patience to coddle someone like that. I would flat out say "gary this is the fourth time today you've asked if I think you're fat. It sounds like YOU think you're fat. If that's how you feel, why don't you go work out or change your eating or both?"

"Gary, it's hard to listen to you complain about how you feel since you aren't willing to use the neti pot, flonase or go see a doctor. You ONLY want to complain but not DO anything to make yourself feel better."

"Gary cut it out. It's not rude of me to read in my own home. You've spent an hour talking about yourself. I listened. I can now spend an hour doing whatever I want, and I want to read. Why don't you go use this hour to work out, since you think you're fat."

I have no patience for that kind of crap.

This has been an ongoing problem with my DH. Every night after we put the kids to bed, he finds a way to start a meaningless argument with me for attention. Then he starts with “You don’t love me?” “Am I fat?” “No one loves me” “All you care about us yourself!” “Cant you cuddle with me!” He must ask me 5x a day if I love him or if I think he is fat. The last couple months he’s had a bad cough and post nasal drip but refuses to do netti pot, make a doctor appt or take the Flonase I bought him. He tells me every night that I don’t know what it’s like to be him and that I don’t care that he’s sick. Then he says things like he thinks he has cancer or thinks he’s having a heart attack. If I don’t act immediately concerned or worried he says I don’t love him and wish he was dead!!! He’s spent the last 3 hours talking about himself while I was trying to wind down and read a book. (He also hates when I read because he says it’s rude to him). What the heck can I do about this!? I do love him but the constant neediness and insecurity is honestly very annoying.