I'm 36 and divorcing. Been separated in a highly contested divorce for 2 years now. I don't date. I have gone out on occasion. I do a TON of self-work, been in therapy for many years. I just want to say that it is not encouraging to wonder the "what-ifs" during the process, and be ordered back to a corner with your self-reflection and mommy cap.

After being married for 12 years, doing it all, I remember being exhausted and getting the break on occasion. I never got grief for wanting romantic connection then, but now suddenly I'm irresponsible or uncaring or selfish if I want to have an option in life?

I gave all that I had in my marriage. I did not work to get here, I fought like hell to avoid it. But I'm here now. Alone and starting over again. Try to be a little more encouraging for some of us other bored DCUM divorcees/divorcee-wannabes in 2018. Maybe that empathy will come back to you one day.

That said, I know its DCUM, so...whatever. Carry on.

Anonymous wrote:Are you asking for yourself or someone else? Your follow up question seems kind of slanted.

+1. If you're asking for yourself - of course, but patient and deliberate and choose wisely. You really need to take a little time to work on being ok/healthy being alone yourself before you think about dating. And obviously, know that there are definitely some men who will completely rule you out because of your kids...especially if they're young.

If you're asking because you're feeling snarky and judgmental about someone else, mind your business...and work on your grammar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my friends has been divorced twice and has two teens. Guys are always after her. she is in her mid 30’s.

Another friend is in her late 30’s or early 40’s. Divorced once. She has two little kids and guys are always pursuing her too. Neither of my friends are drop dead gorgeous, but are still pretty, skinny, and confident.

The universal way to attract men. Works at any age.

Pretty, not fat, fun, and available.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my friends has been divorced twice and has two teens. Guys are always after her. she is in her mid 30’s.

Another friend is in her late 30’s or early 40’s. Divorced once. She has two little kids and guys are always pursuing her too. Neither of my friends are drop dead gorgeous, but are still pretty, skinny, and confident.

The universal way to attract men. Works at any age.

+2. Confident and fulfilled, especially.

Anonymous wrote:One of my friends has been divorced twice and has two teens. Guys are always after her. she is in her mid 30’s.

Another friend is in her late 30’s or early 40’s. Divorced once. She has two little kids and guys are always pursuing her too. Neither of my friends are drop dead gorgeous, but are still pretty, skinny, and confident.

The universal way to attract men. Works at any age.

Nope. The people in their age bracket who aren't married either also have kids or don't want to be saddled with someone else's.

Anonymous wrote:For once, quit being selfish.

Agreed!

I have a single, divorced mom friend. She’s always completely frazzled and can’t believe she has to do this or that for her Kids (I can’t find the time with work. It’s hard being single!) but miracle of miracles! she always has time to date men and get laid.

You don’t need a man to be happy right now. Your KIDS DONT NEED A MAN to be happy right now. They wanted their FAMILY. Not some guy who wants you in bed and boosts your confidence.

For once, quit being selfish.

One of my friends has been divorced twice and has two teens. Guys are always after her. she is in her mid 30’s.

Another friend is in her late 30’s or early 40’s. Divorced once. She has two little kids and guys are always pursuing her too. Neither of my friends are drop dead gorgeous, but are still pretty, skinny, and confident.

I'm mid-40s with one child and still hopeful. Why not?

I remarried, and he's 7 years older than I am.

Focus on your kids first.

Then think of how to take care of yourself now and later.

Do not think of dating now, and perhaps ever.

Are you asking for yourself or someone else? Your follow up question seems kind of slanted.

I have a friend who always “finds” guys, but they are invariably flawed in some way.

But it could be that she just picks the wrong men. I think she turns a blind eye because she wants him to love her kids and move in and play family. Maybe keep your kids out of t for as long as it takes to see his true colors. Hopping from guy to guy isn’t good for kids.

Random question.
Is their any hope for them or will they have to settle for much older men?