You need to just think it through. I just woke up one day and thought, "I will NOT be like her. From now on, I will not be passive-aggressive, a martyr, or super-needy." I further decided that I would say "yes" when possible rather than have my default answer be "no." And that I would not keep bringing up things my DD did wrong, year after year.

In regards to my father, I promised myself that my child would never be physically afraid of me, and would be allowed to express her anger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Snap a rubber band on your wrist when you start to talk to someone (including and especially your little children) like a disrespectful bitch.

You sound like a disrespectful bitch

+1.

That is a therapy technique that works though. - a therapist

Oh, argh. I feel you. It's scary when you hear yourself reacting in a way you really don't want to. It's good that you're aware and want to take steps. Therapy can help...even just starting it can make a big difference, because feeling like you have a plan can give you back some control. I'd start there. xo

Therapy. Have someone teach you tactics to use when you see this happening. Just like anything else, certain behaviors become habits, and it's better to break them early if you can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Snap a rubber band on your wrist when you start to talk to someone (including and especially your little children) like a disrespectful bitch.

You sound like a disrespectful bitch

+1.

Anonymous wrote:Snap a rubber band on your wrist when you start to talk to someone (including and especially your little children) like a disrespectful bitch.

You sound like a disrespectful bitch

Snap a rubber band on your wrist when you start to talk to someone (including and especially your little children) like a disrespectful bitch.

Therapy, and possibly meds.

There are online depression and anxiety screening tools. Check them out.

This is a large part of why I work. My mother, who was a smart woman, became obsessed with a lot of stupid crap, like having a house that looked like it was always ready for a magazine shoot, and wearing really nice clothes to doctor's appointments. I'm worried that without a job, I would end up fixating on pointless things as well. This is not to say that you need to get a job. But if you're fixating on stupid stuff, find something more important to occupy your talents. Get a hobby, volunteer, write a novel, read the Feminine Mystique and deliberate about it's current relevance....

Yes therapy can help. So am parenting classes. Get them before you ‘really’ need them.

Self-awareness is a good and necessary start. Good luck OP.

Can you control yourself at all? Becoming my mother is my worst nightmare, and that thought alone ensures that I brake hard on my natural instincts to act like her: her anxieties, her pettiness, her everything-comes-with-strings-attached, her nagging and lack of rational thought processes, etc.

FTM Here. I'm becoming my mother and I hate it. The way she treated me and said the things she said to me I say them to DH and get angry just like how she got angry with me.


I need stop this but how? Therapy? I definitely do not want my behavior/actions effect my son's child hood like how my,mother's behavior effected mine.