My ILs are nice, my husband is the difficult one. No blame to them, they warned me he was the black sheep of the family!

DWs mom is Fifty Shades of crazy. I knew this early on in our relationship and also knew my wife was nothing like her mom. See her about once a week and I just don't engage in any discussion of any depth, don't provide her any ammo, and stand my ground for right and wrong. She has no moral or ethical compass.

This is a very broad question. It could be a "yes" or "no," depending on the specifics.

I was led to believe that my husband was distant from his parents. Then we got married and they wanted to run our lives (cultural). His mother lies about everything - even stupid stuff of no consequence), and his father only talks about one thing - himself. Add in constant critique about how I'm not the "correct" ethnicity/religion, and how, because of that, I don't do anything "properly", and that sums up my ILs. Once we had a kid, the nagging was non-stop. And my DH (and his brother) find the best way to deal with them is to ignore them - but that means he never sticks up for me or shuts his mother down.

Had I gotten to know them while we were dating, I would not have married my husband. Had I know how he deals with them (passively instead of directly), I would not have married my husband.

You will be stuck with these people until they die, and your children will be exposed to them during the formative years of their lives. Unless you have guarantees otherwise, think about how you'll feel then.

I should have run, but was stupid and stayed because I was foolishly in love. Regret it fully. Now I've wasted ten+ years, am close to 40, bitter and alone.

Yes because if the family doesn't like you they will win in the end. See Kathleen Biden - 20 years of 'work' put in and nationally humiliated (not talking about the divorce either).

I should have run from my now Ex - mother was an alcoholic with multiple rehab stays. But, the reason I should have run wasn't because of his family it was because of the way he spoke about his family and the clear lack of coming to terms w/ his family history and how it impacted him.

It depends on a lot of things. My family is not normal (my parents are divorced, my mother is an alcoholic and we are not close, my brother was bi-polar and killed himself a few years ago). I'm glad my husband saw through that and acknowledged my close and normal relationship with my dad. His family is super normal, but can be kind pretty annoying. However, we've both come up with ways to handle our families.

My family is a mess. I'm glad my DH did not drop me because of them. Though I understand the impulse to run away from associating with chaos.

How close is he to his family? My answer would depend on this.
And also, how bad is the family?
Can you relate to anyone in his family or are they all terrible?

Run!

Why do you dislike the family? How close is he to the family- will you see them a lot or once every few years?

I think a lot of the time, the guy has the same problems as the family - you just don’t notice until too late.

Big maybe here based on the underlying details.

I'd stay for him. You don't live with the family.

Stop, drop, and roll (away).

Scenario, love the guy, dislike his family.

Stay or leave?