Op - you are looking for reasons for be upset if this is the best you can come up with. Just relax.

Anonymous wrote:You are the step grandparent?

Stop having any expectations of your stepchildren or stepgrandchildren now. Be grateful they turn up. Trust me - I come from a complicated family - they will warm to you if you are kind and if you don't show you have expectations of their behavior or feelings toward you.

NP. No wonder American kids are so rude. Because adults in this country don't have expectations of their behaviors or feelings toward them.

An 11 year old is not going to have appreciation for your hosting (?) and cooking and that's a bit much to expect. It's not too much to expect that he would say thank you and at least verbally tell you goodbye. Your husband's son should've corrected that.

You are the step grandparent?

Stop having any expectations of your stepchildren or stepgrandchildren now. Be grateful they turn up. Trust me - I come from a complicated family - they will warm to you if you are kind and if you don't show you have expectations of their behavior or feelings toward you.

"You can say goodbye" is rude.

But he's 11.

You're an adult so let it go.

I never forced hugs, but there’s no way I’d let my 10 year old talk to me like that or any adult like that. Saying thank you to your host is a really basic life skill...

Even children who have been taught manners sometimes don't use them.

If he's usually not like this, you should forgive him.

If he's usually like this, you should talk to your husband's son, directly.

OP is right to be fuming, but not for lack of hugs. It is the boy's dissent.

Kids go through phases. I wouldn't exactly make your interaction with this particular kid an indictment on "kids today"

OP here. MY DH's son and his family are known to be huggers. It's normal and expected.

Anonymous wrote:It isn't about you. Remember he is 11. Sure, he want a gem at that moment, but he is 11 with limited tools to express disappointment about not spending Christmas where he wanted. It just isn't about you.

What makes you think this isn't where he wanted to be??? He said it has been fun. Of course it's not about me. We wanted him to have a good time.

Why does he have to hug? Weird. A thank you should be enough.

It isn't about you. Remember he is 11. Sure, he want a gem at that moment, but he is 11 with limited tools to express disappointment about not spending Christmas where he wanted. It just isn't about you.

Upsetting but not a big deal. Eleven year olds are jerks. Holidays are awkward and stressful. Nobody has to hug.

So after all the hosting and cooking for my DH's son and his son, the 11-year-old kid wouldn't hug me goodbye before leaving (he told his dad "You can say goodbye!" and the dad said "Larlo says goodbye") Seriously???? Very upsetting to not get an acknowledgement or at least a verbal thank you from the younger boy. Are 11-year-olds becoming this self-centered?