Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ADHD 15 year old. With medication, a 504 and an executive functioning coach, he is doing much better, and each year gets more mature. Right now, he is succeeding as a TJ sophomore. I expect him to have great college options, but to need to chose thoughtfully. Specifically, he will need to look at a small college that focuses on undergrads (Mudd or Rose Hullman for Engineering, Davidson, Swarthmore, Claremont colleges, WM as an I State option, etc. if he does liberal arts).

Boys develop EF skills later than girls, so we are taking it year by year. This is the first year he is able to manage a TJ workload without an EF coach. Which means he should be able to manage a college workload— if he stays on task and doesn’t disappear down a video game rabbit hole. He will be on medication for the foreseeable future, but once he is 18, it will be his choice.

We are talking to him about a gap year to work, intern and gain extra maturity and EF skills, so he is in the best possible position to start college. He seems open to the idea.

I have seen things get better each year. But DH is also ADHD, so I don’t think it will ever be “cured”. I think it can be managed so that he can go to a good college, have a great career and a fulfilling life— if he makes smart choices.

For some reason, this seems a little unfair that he goes to TJ and gets so much help. My average non-ADHD son could do well there too with a lot of help.

So much help? We meet with his teachers once a year for a 504 meeeting. He takes time and a half for math tests and standardized tests. If he gets behind in turning in homework, his teacher contacts me. He takes medication to correct a chemical imbalance in his brain. He no longer needs an EF coach. We monitor homework in a low distrion area, ithout his iPhone.

He is working his a** off. He was able to get into TJ— and took the test without accommodations by the way. Why should he not benefit from the education? He does all the work. Turns it in on time or gets marked down. Is graded the on same scale as everyone else. But has to work harder than many of the kids to get the same grade.

Would you say a kid in wheelchair, or a kid with a chronic medical condition that meant missing a couple of days of school a month and needs teachers to work with them on makeups (his friend, who has a medical IEP) should not be at TJ.

He got in fairly. He does the same work up to the same standard as every her kid. No— your average kid could not do that. Even with extra time on math.

He’s doing something very hard. Made harder by ADHD. I think it’s commendable. It shows maturity and perseverance. I had concerns about. TJ. Proved me wrong. I could not be more proud of this kid.

ADHD, unmedicated for ADHD (but medicated for anxiety), early 40's, successful but plateaued. Use a ton of strategies to stay on top of things to the extent that I do. I have 1 kid with ADHD, ASD, and LD, 1 probably has ADHD but not tested, and 1 too early to tell. I manage to get most of the important things done.

For a frame or reference on ADHD, it took my 10yo 45 minutes to complete 9 long division problems. He lost his pencil about 10 times during the process.

Anonymous wrote:What happens to all these ADHD and ADD kids when they grow up?
Do they stay on meds their whole life?
What do their adult lives look like?
Are their kids more likely to also have ADHD/ADD?

10% of the US population are addicts. It is nit hard to figure out why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ADHD 15 year old. With medication, a 504 and an executive functioning coach, he is doing much better, and each year gets more mature. Right now, he is succeeding as a TJ sophomore. I expect him to have great college options, but to need to chose thoughtfully. Specifically, he will need to look at a small college that focuses on undergrads (Mudd or Rose Hullman for Engineering, Davidson, Swarthmore, Claremont colleges, WM as an I State option, etc. if he does liberal arts).

Boys develop EF skills later than girls, so we are taking it year by year. This is the first year he is able to manage a TJ workload without an EF coach. Which means he should be able to manage a college workload— if he stays on task and doesn’t disappear down a video game rabbit hole. He will be on medication for the foreseeable future, but once he is 18, it will be his choice.

We are talking to him about a gap year to work, intern and gain extra maturity and EF skills, so he is in the best possible position to start college. He seems open to the idea.

I have seen things get better each year. But DH is also ADHD, so I don’t think it will ever be “cured”. I think it can be managed so that he can go to a good college, have a great career and a fulfilling life— if he makes smart choices.

For some reason, this seems a little unfair that he goes to TJ and gets so much help. My average non-ADHD son could do well there too with a lot of help.

Not sure why you think OP's son is getting a lot of help and this is an issue of fairness. A 504 is usually basic accommodations. Also, OP's child made it through the first year of TJ without EF coach. Don't be bitter and petty. BTW, my son does not have ADHD or ADD.

Anonymous wrote:I have an ADHD 15 year old. With medication, a 504 and an executive functioning coach, he is doing much better, and each year gets more mature. Right now, he is succeeding as a TJ sophomore. I expect him to have great college options, but to need to chose thoughtfully. Specifically, he will need to look at a small college that focuses on undergrads (Mudd or Rose Hullman for Engineering, Davidson, Swarthmore, Claremont colleges, WM as an I State option, etc. if he does liberal arts).

Boys develop EF skills later than girls, so we are taking it year by year. This is the first year he is able to manage a TJ workload without an EF coach. Which means he should be able to manage a college workload— if he stays on task and doesn’t disappear down a video game rabbit hole. He will be on medication for the foreseeable future, but once he is 18, it will be his choice.

We are talking to him about a gap year to work, intern and gain extra maturity and EF skills, so he is in the best possible position to start college. He seems open to the idea.

I have seen things get better each year. But DH is also ADHD, so I don’t think it will ever be “cured”. I think it can be managed so that he can go to a good college, have a great career and a fulfilling life— if he makes smart choices.

For some reason, this seems a little unfair that he goes to TJ and gets so much help. My average non-ADHD son could do well there too with a lot of help.

ADHD is a lifelong disorder, however as the brain matures, it can manage better, especially if the patient has a high IQ that can compensate in some measure, and the patient is aware of his limitations and works on his executive functioning skills and time management issues. Depending on the severity of the disorder, meds can be needed lifelong. Usually, patients make life choices to accommodate their disorder, such as not seeking promotion to more responsibilities, or simplifying their lives to avoid being overwhelmed. Those that find themselves in intense environments, either emotionally or materially, often go into crisis mode, and develop anger issues or depression.

Not being aware of one's own ADHD, or being in denial, is another problem. It has been shown that a majority of prison inmates have some kind of untreated disorder, either ADHD or a learning disorder. Untreated ADHD raises a person's risk of being in prison, or becoming addicted to recreational drugs or alcohol.

My husband's family has a history of mental disorders: ADHD, bipolar, anxiety and depression.
My husband has ADHD.
My son has ADHD.
My husband refuses to medicate himself daily, which has significantly and very negatively impacted all our lives. It's sad that he can't see it. We have gone to counseling.
My son understands his disorder much better and is compliant with his medication, which he might, or might not, have to take lifelong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine does not.

What he did have was immaturity, which leads to the same issues at school, but without the 504 plan.

I suspect this is the category most “ADHD” teens fall into, but everyone has to have a diagnosis of some sort these days.

+1 my 12 yr old DS does not have ADHD, just the normal tween issues. And yes, he was full of energy in ES which led to too much talking, not listening, not staying in his seat, and several pink slips. DS is a straight A student, and now spends way too much time on his computer.

I am an adult woman with a happy marriage, 2 small kids, a full time job and ADD. I am an executive at a large consulting company and I haven’t taken meds since I started trying to get pregnant with my first child 5 years ago.
I am able to manage my ADD through having routines, regular exercise, good sleep habits, monitoring caffeine intake, and meditation. It sucks that I have to do “all the right things” to be baseline normal while other people can eat junk, not sleep, not exercise, etc. but I was tired of being addicted to the meds.

I have an ADHD 15 year old. With medication, a 504 and an executive functioning coach, he is doing much better, and each year gets more mature. Right now, he is succeeding as a TJ sophomore. I expect him to have great college options, but to need to chose thoughtfully. Specifically, he will need to look at a small college that focuses on undergrads (Mudd or Rose Hullman for Engineering, Davidson, Swarthmore, Claremont colleges, WM as an I State option, etc. if he does liberal arts).

Boys develop EF skills later than girls, so we are taking it year by year. This is the first year he is able to manage a TJ workload without an EF coach. Which means he should be able to manage a college workload— if he stays on task and doesn’t disappear down a video game rabbit hole. He will be on medication for the foreseeable future, but once he is 18, it will be his choice.

We are talking to him about a gap year to work, intern and gain extra maturity and EF skills, so he is in the best possible position to start college. He seems open to the idea.

I have seen things get better each year. But DH is also ADHD, so I don’t think it will ever be “cured”. I think it can be managed so that he can go to a good college, have a great career and a fulfilling life— if he makes smart choices.

I know two adults who have it. Both are women. Of course it was much less diagnosed we were kids. Both are successful professionals with families, who do take meds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happens to all these ADHD and ADD kids when they grow up?
Do they stay on meds their whole life?
What do their adult lives look like?
Are their kids more likely to also have ADHD/ADD?

My son has ADHD. He's only 11, so I don't know what his adult life will look like.

My two cousins had ADHD. They are in their 30s. One dropped out of college his first year, got married to a nice woman, has kids, and has a decent job in sales. The other has an alcohol problem, can barely afford an apartment, and does construction work. No kids, never married. Both seem happy enough.

Substance abuse is a big problem for many people who have ADHD. They self-medicate, and it doesn't help. Just be aware.

I think this is more true of those not on prescribed ADHD meds.

Anonymous wrote:Mine does not.

What he did have was immaturity, which leads to the same issues at school, but without the 504 plan.

I suspect this is the category most “ADHD” teens fall into, but everyone has to have a diagnosis of some sort these days.

Mine does not.

What he did have was immaturity, which leads to the same issues at school, but without the 504 plan.

Anonymous wrote:What happens to all these ADHD and ADD kids when they grow up?
Do they stay on meds their whole life?
What do their adult lives look like?
Are their kids more likely to also have ADHD/ADD?

My son has ADHD. He's only 11, so I don't know what his adult life will look like.

My two cousins had ADHD. They are in their 30s. One dropped out of college his first year, got married to a nice woman, has kids, and has a decent job in sales. The other has an alcohol problem, can barely afford an apartment, and does construction work. No kids, never married. Both seem happy enough.

Substance abuse is a big problem for many people who have ADHD. They self-medicate, and it doesn't help. Just be aware.

What happens to all these ADHD and ADD kids when they grow up?
Do they stay on meds their whole life?
What do their adult lives look like?
Are their kids more likely to also have ADHD/ADD?