Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was bullied at Longfellow. To fix the problem, the administration made him attend 'group meetings' for all the victims weekly. So the victims missed class time and the bullies got off scott free. So they punished the victims.

The school is a pressure cooker and obsessed with GPAs, lots of mean girls and boys that likely have bullies for parents.

We've seen this in Vienna too. The victim is the problem, not the bully. I actually like the idea of teaching more self advocacy. But what about the classes for the bullies to teach more empathy?

In McLean this starts young. At our elementary school they seem to also see the victim as the problem and/or they are too afraid of the parents of the kid bullying.

Anonymous wrote:My DS was bullied at Longfellow. To fix the problem, the administration made him attend 'group meetings' for all the victims weekly. So the victims missed class time and the bullies got off scott free. So they punished the victims.

The school is a pressure cooker and obsessed with GPAs, lots of mean girls and boys that likely have bullies for parents.

We've seen this in Vienna too. The victim is the problem, not the bully. I actually like the idea of teaching more self advocacy. But what about the classes for the bullies to teach more empathy?

Anonymous wrote: Tell me about Longfellow. My kid goes next year and I was alarmed to see a bully report button on their website. It seems naive to me since a clique could easily gang up on a target by claiming she or he is the bully and making a report. (I have worked with kids this age and these things do happen); Are they having significant bullying issues? if so, what have they done to address them besides a bully button on the website?

The bully button is a joke. Kids are afraid to use it because of fear of retribution. If your kid is academically strong they will fair better. Kids who need help or don't take honors level classes are looked down on and bullied. If your kids has a weakness or is timid, they could be a target. Some parents avoid Longfellow and put the kids who struggle academically into private school for junior high and then go on to Mclean HS (which is great). That is smart, otherwise these kids could have a terrible time at Longfellow.

My DS was bullied at Longfellow. To fix the problem, the administration made him attend 'group meetings' for all the victims weekly. So the victims missed class time and the bullies got off scott free. So they punished the victims.

The school is a pressure cooker and obsessed with GPAs, lots of mean girls and boys that likely have bullies for parents.

Anonymous wrote:Very curious among those who had bullying issues at Longfellow. Is your kid male or female and is the bully male or female. Had heard at another middle school they are super tuned into mean girl stuff, but oblivious to boys bullying other boys.

In middle school, boys bullying boys tends to be one-on-one, while groups of girls often bully another girl. That was our experience at Kilmer MS, in any event.

RE: Bullying Button...this was a push from the county to add the button to the school webpages. Some schools have since removed the button because they recieved many reports that were false or not really bullying.

Very curious among those who had bullying issues at Longfellow. Is your kid male or female and is the bully male or female. Had heard at another middle school they are super tuned into mean girl stuff, but oblivious to boys bullying other boys.

Read the article. The "restorative justice" program can backfire. Not every bully is capable of true empathy. You can inadvertently reinforce the feeling of power if the kids gets off on it. Now Larla knows how deeply she can cut you emotionally if you ruffle her feathers.

What about mentioning the boys? they do it too-relational and aggressive bullying.

It takes a disturbed individual to bully and they need to be identified and treated for the damage they cause.

never heard of it

You may find this article of interest - because it was in Arlington Magazine, it focused on the areas and schools of particular interest to that magazine - Arlington, McLean and Falls Church.

http://www.arlingtonmagazine.com/girl-trouble/

We had kids at both Kilmer and Longfellow. A child at Kilmer was bullied, but we had no problems at Longfellow, and a much greater sense that the administration actually had a clue about what was happening at the school. So YMMV.

We have also had issues with bullying at Longfellow. So much so that we considered switching schools. Ultimately, our child decided to stick it out, but it wasn’t a happy two years.

Our neighbor's child had a terrible time with bullying at Longfellow. The school didn't do much to alleviate the problem, either.

We loved Longfellow and, to our knowledge, our kids did not experience any bullying there. We liked the teams for 7th and 8th graders, and the fact that they really did a good job of preparing 7th graders for 8th grade, and 8th graders for high school. That can't be said of every school. The band program was also great.

There will be bullies - particularly "mean girls" - at every middle school. I see the anonymous tip-line as an indication that Longfellow takes bullying seriously, and wants to provide students with another avenue to raise their concerns. If there are some false positives, I have confidence that the Longfellow administration will deal with them properly.

Tell me about Longfellow. My kid goes next year and I was alarmed to see a bully report button on their website. It seems naive to me since a clique could easily gang up on a target by claiming she or he is the bully and making a report. (I have worked with kids this age and these things do happen); Are they having significant bullying issues? if so, what have they done to address them besides a bully button on the website?