Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH won me over with effort. Now married for 10 years with 3 kids. Don’t think I can be in this loveless passionless dead marriage any longer. I am childcare. We talk about child logistics and that’s it. I’m so resentful. I gave up my lucrative career to stay home. DH takes me for granted. I seriously cannot stand my husband and feel totally stuck. Yesterday I told him I want out and he just brushed me off and said he was the best I could do.

I want to run away and restart. Then I look at my children’s sweet faces and can’t leave.

He actually said that he was the best you could do? Wow. I'd see that as a challenge.

Work on yourself, OP. Shape up. Plan your exit. Get some childcare for the kids and either go back to your career (full time or part time) or start a business or side job. Get yourself in control of your finances. Look after yourself. Get your power back.

+1. Many men don't respect their wives once they become SAHMs and stop putting in effort because SAHMs often ARE stuck. My own marriage improved once I got back in shape, got a job, and became a self-supporting adult because DH knew I had options and other men were taking an interest in me.

So much this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have 3 children under the age of ten. Of course your life revolves around childcare. Grow up.

If you divorce your husband, your life will still revolve around childcare except you’ll be divorced, working, and your life will suck even more.

And your kids will be miserable.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:You have 3 children under the age of ten. Of course your life revolves around childcare. Grow up.

If you divorce your husband, your life will still revolve around childcare except you’ll be divorced, working, and your life will suck even more.

And your kids will be miserable.

Seems like older generations accepted that life can be hard , boring and miserable in phases. Social media is loaded with whining. The whole idea people get that their life is supposed to be so fulfilling doesn't seem to be actually making people happy. Seems like more are bitchy, angry, frustrated or demoralized.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH won me over with effort. Now married for 10 years with 3 kids. Don’t think I can be in this loveless passionless dead marriage any longer. I am childcare. We talk about child logistics and that’s it. I’m so resentful. I gave up my lucrative career to stay home. DH takes me for granted. I seriously cannot stand my husband and feel totally stuck. Yesterday I told him I want out and he just brushed me off and said he was the best I could do.

I want to run away and restart. Then I look at my children’s sweet faces and can’t leave.

He actually said that he was the best you could do? Wow. I'd see that as a challenge.

Work on yourself, OP. Shape up. Plan your exit. Get some childcare for the kids and either go back to your career (full time or part time) or start a business or side job. Get yourself in control of your finances. Look after yourself. Get your power back.

+1. Many men don't respect their wives once they become SAHMs and stop putting in effort because SAHMs often ARE stuck. My own marriage improved once I got back in shape, got a job, and became a self-supporting adult because DH knew I had options and other men were taking an interest in me.

OP, are you prepared for 50% child custody?

Also, is there abuse? Alocholism? Addiction? Infidelity?

You made the choice to marry this man. You made the choice to give up your career. You need to own those decisions.

You need to work on the marriage first for the sake of the kids, and then if it doesn't work file for divorce. Divorce these days is like easy bankruptcy. You can run up the debt and then simply not pay it.

Adults work things out, they pay their debts, they live up to their responsiblities to themselves, each other and their children.

In a similar situation, OP. It sucks. I feel so trapped, and I walked into it with my eyes open.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have 3 children under the age of ten. Of course your life revolves around childcare. Grow up.

If you divorce your husband, your life will still revolve around childcare except you’ll be divorced, working, and your life will suck even more.

Huh? My DH and I have way more going in than childcare. I would be so bored being married to someone and that's all we talked about.

Plus 1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH won me over with effort. Now married for 10 years with 3 kids. Don’t think I can be in this loveless passionless dead marriage any longer. I am childcare. We talk about child logistics and that’s it. I’m so resentful. I gave up my lucrative career to stay home. DH takes me for granted. I seriously cannot stand my husband and feel totally stuck. Yesterday I told him I want out and he just brushed me off and said he was the best I could do.

I want to run away and restart. Then I look at my children’s sweet faces and can’t leave.

He actually said that he was the best you could do? Wow. I'd see that as a challenge.

Work on yourself, OP. Shape up. Plan your exit. Get some childcare for the kids and either go back to your career (full time or part time) or start a business or side job. Get yourself in control of your finances. Look after yourself. Get your power back.

You'd be that affected by what someone says to you that you'd structure the rest of your life and your children's lives around it? Pathetic.

She should brush it off, then decide what would be best for her and her children.

Anonymous wrote:You have 3 children under the age of ten. Of course your life revolves around childcare. Grow up.

If you divorce your husband, your life will still revolve around childcare except you’ll be divorced, working, and your life will suck even more.

Huh? My DH and I have way more going in than childcare. I would be so bored being married to someone and that's all we talked about.

Anonymous wrote:DH won me over with effort. Now married for 10 years with 3 kids. Don’t think I can be in this loveless passionless dead marriage any longer. I am childcare. We talk about child logistics and that’s it. I’m so resentful. I gave up my lucrative career to stay home. DH takes me for granted. I seriously cannot stand my husband and feel totally stuck. Yesterday I told him I want out and he just brushed me off and said he was the best I could do.

I want to run away and restart. Then I look at my children’s sweet faces and can’t leave.

He actually said that he was the best you could do? Wow. I'd see that as a challenge.

Work on yourself, OP. Shape up. Plan your exit. Get some childcare for the kids and either go back to your career (full time or part time) or start a business or side job. Get yourself in control of your finances. Look after yourself. Get your power back.

I'm so sorry, OP. How old are your children now?
Hugs to you.

Daycare. Get a job.

You have 3 children under the age of ten. Of course your life revolves around childcare. Grow up.

If you divorce your husband, your life will still revolve around childcare except you’ll be divorced, working, and your life will suck even more.

DH won me over with effort. Now married for 10 years with 3 kids. Don’t think I can be in this loveless passionless dead marriage any longer. I am childcare. We talk about child logistics and that’s it. I’m so resentful. I gave up my lucrative career to stay home. DH takes me for granted. I seriously cannot stand my husband and feel totally stuck. Yesterday I told him I want out and he just brushed me off and said he was the best I could do.

I want to run away and restart. Then I look at my children’s sweet faces and can’t leave.