Are you the OP of the thread about being broken up with because your ex is an addict in recovery?

Yes. It worked out well and lasted for about 8 months until he moved across country for a job. We had been friends before dating. We worked as friends. We worked.as lovers. We just didn't work as bf/gf. I think a lot had to do with immaturity on both our parts.

It only works if you can let the feelings go. You have to be ok with him talking to other women. You have to be ok with the fact that you're not going to get the romance side of things. You can't wall yourself off to other opportunities.

It's whatever works for you. And sometimes you have to adjust things as they come. But as long as your feelings are gone, there is no harm in trying a FWB scenario and seeing how it goes.

I did. Worked until he moved away. We were both too busy for real relationships, so it filled a need at the time.

Why did you break up?

No. Don't do it.

Don’t do this to yourself. Treat yourself to a new luxury vibrator and wait for someone better.

Anonymous wrote:Do you still have feelings for him, OP? If you do, FWB won’t work - you’ll get hurt. You have to be able to have zero expectations of him - be honest with yourself. He.does.not.want.a.relationship. You have to swallow and accept that bitter pill without the hope that he’ll come around. As a matter of fact, there’s probably less of a chance he’ll come around if you are FWB - he doesn’t have to miss you, or experience the loss of you - he can have his cake and eat it too. Be careful with your heart.

I kind of do, but I'm under no illusion that things will happen between the two of us. There's a dealbreaker (on his end) that simply can't be changed, and I've come to terms with that.

Do you still have feelings for him, OP? If you do, FWB won’t work - you’ll get hurt. You have to be able to have zero expectations of him - be honest with yourself. He.does.not.want.a.relationship. You have to swallow and accept that bitter pill without the hope that he’ll come around. As a matter of fact, there’s probably less of a chance he’ll come around if you are FWB - he doesn’t have to miss you, or experience the loss of you - he can have his cake and eat it too. Be careful with your heart.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did in my 20s for about six months. He would come over once a month, we would make small talk then jump in bed, then he would leave and I would cry and feel like total crap. And we wouldn’t talk until the following month.

Cutting it off entirely was one of the better decisions I have made.

You're giving me pause....

PP that had a 3 year stint of this...Give it a shot once and see how you feel. For me and mine, it was friends having sex with the bonus of we already know what each other liked. I never felt like crap or cried when he left.

Yes, but it can only work if neither of you have any lingering feelings for each other. I did it with a serious boyfriend, but we had been broken up for over 2 years and there was no chance either of us wanted to get back together. It was also somewhat long distance. The other guy and I hadn't dated very seriously and we wanted different things from a relationship, but we stayed friends and would hook up sometimes.

Anonymous wrote:I did in my 20s for about six months. He would come over once a month, we would make small talk then jump in bed, then he would leave and I would cry and feel like total crap. And we wouldn’t talk until the following month.

Cutting it off entirely was one of the better decisions I have made.

You're giving me pause....

Don't get pregnant.

I did in my 20s for about six months. He would come over once a month, we would make small talk then jump in bed, then he would leave and I would cry and feel like total crap. And we wouldn’t talk until the following month.

Cutting it off entirely was one of the better decisions I have made.

I dated someone for a year, we broke up, and jumped back in bed a week later. We kept that up for 3 years.

We had a standing Monday night where he'd come over around/after dinner, we'd have a few beers, have sex, pass out for a couple hours, and he'd leave around 2. It ended when I moved 5 hours away.

How did it go? Seamless transition or rocky road?

Just got dumped a few weeks ago by the best lover I've ever had. This is not an exaggeration. Outside of his skills we are just highly compatible and have great chemistry. We've been in laid back, low-stakes communication and chatted today. I asked him if he'd be interested in getting together and he indicated he would, over the weekend.

I don't want to overthink this but do I have to verbalize new ground rues: no staying over, for example? Please hold my hand, DCUM. I need some guidance.