Anonymous wrote:Where are you going that you need to stay in a 1000 a night hotel? 300 bucks isn't awful. I thought you were going to say like 75-100 bucks a night.

I originally thought it was $300 max budget per person per night. I was disappointed when I realized it was 300 per room per night.

Haha, to me the $200-$300 range IS the "nice" hotel. I thought you would be saying they wanted to stay in a Days Inn or something. Just goes to show it's all relative. But I agree with PPs that offering to pay more, especially in this case where you don't even know the others, is just too likely to come off as insulting even though you clearly mean it well.

Anonymous wrote:If you are in a position where the money would not matter to you, you could offer to pay for the hotel as a birthday gift to your friend. I can't imagine the others complaining about that- though obviously you would be out a large chunk of money.

I would 100% treat my friend. Yes, I’m in a position to spend a few grand for a gf getaway.

I don’t really want to pay for girls I don’t know at all.

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going that you need to stay in a 1000 a night hotel? 300 bucks isn't awful. I thought you were going to say like 75-100 bucks a night.

Also, can you share rooms?

Where are you going that you need to stay in a 1000 a night hotel? 300 bucks isn't awful. I thought you were going to say like 75-100 bucks a night.

Anonymous wrote:Does the birthday friend who knows everyone think it would be insulting for you to offer to pay for an upgrade? She's in the best position to know how that would be received.

She actually offered to throw in more. She is a sweetheart and often puts others before her. Part of why I like her so much. I want to say I will pay for her. She can throw in. Struggling people don’t even have to pay. I’m afraid it will insult low budget people.

Anonymous wrote:Does the birthday friend who knows everyone think it would be insulting for you to offer to pay for an upgrade? She's in the best position to know how that would be received.

Just tell em you used points.

If you are in a position where the money would not matter to you, you could offer to pay for the hotel as a birthday gift to your friend. I can't imagine the others complaining about that- though obviously you would be out a large chunk of money.

(You only get to pay extra to upgrade everyone - and you couch it as "I want to cover this to make the trip extra special for X" - there's no upgrading just you or you and her)

Anonymous wrote:You need to go with the flow and do the lowest common denominator. Anything else would likely make the lower budget people uncomfortable and possibly back out. Or, you efforts would be viewed as pushy.

The lower budget people are making me want to back out.

My actual friend said she is willing to splurge and stay someone nice.

Does the birthday friend who knows everyone think it would be insulting for you to offer to pay for an upgrade? She's in the best position to know how that would be received.

Air BNB?

You need to go with the flow and do the lowest common denominator. Anything else would likely make the lower budget people uncomfortable and possibly back out. Or, you efforts would be viewed as pushy.

I think if it's your friend's birthday, and she invited the group of people, then you should go with the flow and accept an option that everyone can afford.

My friend wants to go away for her 40th birthday. We all have multiple kids and rarely go away without the kids. I like to stay at nice hotels. Birthday girl also likes not hotels. Her friends that I don’t know or met once have lower budgets. I have no problems paying extra to upgrade. I don’t go away often (more like never) and I want to be comfortable. The other women seem ok trying to squeeze into a 3 Star hotel. They are more wanting $200-300 per night hotels. The hotels I like and am used to are more like 1000. If it were just my friend, I would cover the whole thing.

Wwyd? Go with the flow or try to pay more?

I want to pay more but don’t want to insult anyone.