50/50 physical custody is often not in the best interests of the child. Too much shuffling back and forth.

Anonymous wrote:I agree custody should be 50/50, if that is how childcare is split during the marriage. But why should the parent, who has worked FT, and done 90 percent of the childcare and 100 percent of the household tasks during the marriage then lose the lion’s share of custody in the divorce?

That parent is already at a disadvantage economically, as he or she has probably taken a lower-paying job in order to have the flexibility needed to be the default parent.

This. I'd actually laugh if most divorced dads earned 50 percent custody. They would be screwed. Even my husband who tries to split takes 50/50 can't manage and juggle the many things required to run a household and hold down a good job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shared custody should be the default absent reasons not to do it. Child support should be based on what the kid(s) need and who makes what.

+1. I’m all for it. When mothers presume they are more worthy of custody it really bugs me.

They are more worthy of custody because they carry and gave birth to the child. Also because we live in a country without guaranteed paid maternity leave and feeerr protections for pregnant women or women with young children. So this means women are affected more by having children than men. Now you're saying women should take unpaid leave and hurt their careers by having children but then if they get divorced should have to pay 50 percent of the costs.

I agree custody should be 50/50, if that is how childcare is split during the marriage. But why should the parent, who has worked FT, and done 90 percent of the childcare and 100 percent of the household tasks during the marriage then lose the lion’s share of custody in the divorce?

That parent is already at a disadvantage economically, as he or she has probably taken a lower-paying job in order to have the flexibility needed to be the default parent.

One of my best friends just divorced and this is what they negotiated. She earns significantly more than her Ex. I agree this will be the new norm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read that child support is rare outside the US because of 50/50 custody. Both parents work and equally support their children.

You mean the women have two jobs and the men have one. OF COURSE men want women working.

Huh? How do divorced women not work? Dh and I make similarly. If we divorced he wouldn't need to support us.

Wow! So if this income ratio is true for you, then it follows that ALL couple must make roughly the same incomes, too! Good to know. No other couples have disparity of earnings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read that child support is rare outside the US because of 50/50 custody. Both parents work and equally support their children.

You mean the women have two jobs and the men have one. OF COURSE men want women working.

Huh? How do divorced women not work? Dh and I make similarly. If we divorced he wouldn't need to support us.

Anonymous wrote:I think its wonderful and should have been done many years ago. The elimination of child support would only be if the women had equal salaries.

+1. Even now when there is 50/50 custody child support is only awarded when the difference in salary is enough to warrant it, and things like health insurance, childcare, and uncovered medical are all split proportionally based on income (when salaries are equal, each parent pays 50%).

Granted, I tend to laugh a little when men (particularly white men) complain about the laws, because the laws were written, implemented, and interpreted in the courts by white men. They weren't written and passed to protect women or children, they were written by men, to further their interests. Child support wasn't enforceable until fairly recently either (the ability to track the location of someone ordered to pay came with the implementation of technology over the past 20 years or so), and now that it's enforceable I find it funny that men suddenly actually want responsibility for their children.

Anonymous wrote:I read that child support is rare outside the US because of 50/50 custody. Both parents work and equally support their children.

You mean the women have two jobs and the men have one. OF COURSE men want women working.

I read that child support is rare outside the US because of 50/50 custody. Both parents work and equally support their children.

The real question is why is your husband sending you articles about divorce?

Anonymous wrote:Shared custody should be the default absent reasons not to do it. Child support should be based on what the kid(s) need and who makes what.

+1. I’m all for it. When mothers presume they are more worthy of custody it really bugs me.

Shared custody should be the default absent reasons not to do it. Child support should be based on what the kid(s) need and who makes what.

I think its wonderful and should have been done many years ago. The elimination of child support would only be if the women had equal salaries.

Husband sent me this interesting article today:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/more-than-20-states-in-2017-considered-laws-to-promote-shared-custody-of-children-after-divorce/2017/12/11/d924b938-c4b7-11e7-84bc-5e285c7f4512_story.html?utm_term=.3cce61522ade

Here is an interesting quote from the article:

"Laws that require joint physical custody could also led to the elimination of child support in some states, women's advocates say, disrupting a system that was designed to help women, who have historically been paid less in the workforce while performing more unpaid labor at home"

Thoughts?