Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why mention the neighborhoods of the friends? Are you supposing that kids who live in fancy neighborhoods don't get into trouble?

She meant it is good for boys to hang out in Georgetown and Bethesda. They will be free from the perils of other neighborhoods.

A bit naive of you, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Why mention the neighborhoods of the friends? Are you supposing that kids who live in fancy neighborhoods don't get into trouble?

She meant it is good for boys to hang out in Georgetown and Bethesda. They will be free from the perils of other neighborhoods.

Anonymous wrote:Why mention the neighborhoods of the friends? Are you supposing that kids who live in fancy neighborhoods don't get into trouble?

My interpretation of that was that those were places where him and his friends hang out, not live. She'd probably rather them be grabbing food or exploring the waterfront in these areas than getting into trouble doing other stuff that teenage boys do.


OP, I wouldn't assume right away that your kid is hiding something bad. I like privacy and wouldn't want someone snooping through my texts either, even though you'd find nothing bad on my phone. He probably feels the same.

Anonymous wrote:No kid wants his phone taken away.

My kids wanted a phone at age 12. I told them when they got a job & paid for it, they could have one.
Guess what? They still don't have a phone, and their grades have improved greatly.

He is no doubt somewhat addicted to access to the internet via his phone. I think this is a time when you have to lead by example. In our hose the phones stay in the kitchen unless being used as a telephone to actually speak to someone after 6 and in the kitchen regardless after 9. We also try to not use the internet between breakfast and dinner on Saturday and Sunday. But I don’t see how the phone of this generation is really much different from the role of a TV in mine. I had a small TV in my room as a teenager and that thing was on all of the time.

How would you feel if someone wanted to take your phone? It's very personal. You have a right to do that, but it would feel like a huge violation and I wouldn't do it unless I had some pretty concrete evidence I needed to.

No kid wants his phone taken away.

Probably not hiding anything, but he is a kid and the phone is paid for by YOU. It is YOUR phone. Like the poster above, we make the kids charge phones in common areas at night and we always have their passcodes. I check quite a bit and have sued some of what I have seen as learning moments-- like "why you should not have posted that" etc. they are still young and despite all the warnings, many teens post things that they may later regret.

Why mention the neighborhoods of the friends? Are you supposing that kids who live in fancy neighborhoods don't get into trouble?

Unfortunately I think it's pretty normal. They don't want parents snooping around, even if there's nothing to hide. We make our kids charge their phones in our room at night, so that's when we log in and peruse their texts...but, kids are much more tech savvy than most parents and my son could easily be hiding or deleting things he doesn't want us to see. I think it comes down to establishing a relationship of trust with your kids and hoping they respect your wishes.

My DS has had a phone since 6th grade. However, I did not allow him to have an Instagram until 7th grade and a Snap Chat until the end of 8th. He has always been social and spends a lot of time with his friends in Georgetown and Bethesda which I think is good for a boy his age (sophomore). But, when he's not with his friends he spends a lot of time on his phone. He is a fine student (B+ average) and a very good athlete. I just worry he is addicted to his phone and when I try and take it away he gets very defensive. Is he hiding something or is this normal behavior. DCUM please help!