Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been following the Roy Moore allegations and for the most part could have predicted the entrenched political defenses and accusations. However, I was surprised to read that some evangelical churches are standing behind Moore because they dismiss the story of the most serious allegation (14 year old) but focus on how a 30 something year old "courting" 16-18 year old women is not a bad thing. Is dating across such a wide age gap an accepted practice in some of these southern church communities?

Sure. What was especially amusing is the comparisons to what Muslims do. They compared Roy Moore to a Muslim.

Who is “they”? The evangelicals?

Anonymous wrote:I've been following the Roy Moore allegations and for the most part could have predicted the entrenched political defenses and accusations. However, I was surprised to read that some evangelical churches are standing behind Moore because they dismiss the story of the most serious allegation (14 year old) but focus on how a 30 something year old "courting" 16-18 year old women is not a bad thing. Is dating across such a wide age gap an accepted practice in some of these southern church communities?

Sure. What was especially amusing is the comparisons to what Muslims do. They compared Roy Moore to a Muslim.

I’m Christian but not conservative, and I’d like to know how prevalent this is in America today. I suspect not at all, even within the evangelical community, outside of a few nutcases. OP, can you share your links?

OP here. Thanks to those that answered and shared their experiences. I am not Christian. However, I am not the "atheist troll".

My grandmother was 17 when she married and my grandfather was 32. Details are not clear, but I believe my great grandmother was 14. In their culture (different country), it was completely accepted and very common. My parents immigrated to the US and when I was growing up, I remember being skeeved out as I learned this aspect of the family history. I honestly thought this was due to their culture and not so much their time. Once the story came out, and I heard some church leaders responses, I started to wonder whether the practice is more mainstream in the US than I realized. Thanks to all that indulged my curiosity.

Dear OP:

2-3 wackos does not mean all evangelical churches or even all “conservative Christian” churches per your thread title.

Troll fail

Anonymous wrote:I've been following the Roy Moore allegations and for the most part could have predicted the entrenched political defenses and accusations. However, I was surprised to read that some evangelical churches are standing behind Moore because they dismiss the story of the most serious allegation (14 year old) but focus on how a 30 something year old "courting" 16-18 year old women is not a bad thing. Is dating across such a wide age gap an accepted practice in some of these southern church communities?

NP. I’m not evangelical (far from it) and definitely not a sympathizer with evangelicals or Moore (omg no).

However, there’s a big difference between 1. groping a 14-yr-old against her wishes, and 2. courting a 14-year-old platonically with an eye to future marriage.

Evangelical “support” could be for the platonic version. Or maybe for Moore’s support of other evangelical causes, despite the groping, which I would still be horrified at, but that’s diffferent from how you’re portraying it.

In other words, I don’t completely trust how you’re representing this. I don’t know your source(s), although I presume they’re atheist. I suspect you’re the angry atheist returning with her weekly “aren’t you an idiot for believing?” thread. If you could link to your source(s) then we could judge for ourselves what exactly this evangelical “support” consists of, and how common it is.

Anonymous wrote:^^^ Some of this is probably a throwback to the feeling that it is a positive thing for your daughter to find and marry a "catch" at a young age so she has an easy life. A late 20-30 something educated, upstanding guy with and education and promising career will help your daughter to start her life right and not have to struggle like she woukd if she married her high school or college sweetheart when they were both 18-22 and starting out..

If he was 30 this would have been what, 30 or so years ago?

I grew up in a small town and I think back then many people would not have blinked an eye over a high school senior dating a 20-30 year old guy, especially if he was viewed as successful.

It would have caused a stir in the small town where I grew up, but a generation earlier a big age gap was not uncommon

^^^ Some of this is probably a throwback to the feeling that it is a positive thing for your daughter to find and marry a "catch" at a young age so she has an easy life. A late 20-30 something educated, upstanding guy with and education and promising career will help your daughter to start her life right and not have to struggle like she woukd if she married her high school or college sweetheart when they were both 18-22 and starting out..

If he was 30 this would have been what, 30 or so years ago?

I grew up in a small town and I think back then many people would not have blinked an eye over a high school senior dating a 20-30 year old guy, especially if he was viewed as successful.

Anonymous wrote:My cousin met and started dating her then late 20s (maybe early 30s) husband when she was a high school junior (so 16?)

They got married after she graduated. High school.

All of her teenage friends were dating 20-30 year old men at her wedding.

I was in college at the time and thought it was the weirdest thing.

She was from a smaller town in the south, not too far from Virginia.

This was in the 90s. They have been married over 25 years now.

Apparently this was common in their community. He was a professional, white collar, college educated guy and she was from a "good" family.

They were not particularly conservative Christian in this town (like Duggar-ish).

The women had jobs, dressed normally, cut their hair. People dated like normal people. They drank, danced and listened to rock n roll. My cousin got her degree after they got married, then had kids.

It was just considered normal for an older established guy to date or marry a high school girl. It is the way their parents did it and their grandparents did it. No big deal to them.

My cousin met and started dating her then late 20s (maybe early 30s) husband when she was a high school junior (so 16?)

They got married after she graduated. High school.

All of her teenage friends were dating 20-30 year old men at her wedding.

I was in college at the time and thought it was the weirdest thing.

She was from a smaller town in the south, not too far from Virginia.

This was in the 90s. They have been married over 25 years now.

Apparently this was common in their community. He was a professional, white collar, college educated guy and she was from a "good" family.

I grew up in a Conservative Christian church and this was definitely tacitly tolerated at our church, and more explicitly tolerated when the girl was over 16.

It's a very antiquated, "old world" view, which is often associated with conservative religious practices - not just evangelical, and not just Christian. Generally such beliefs are stunted in the past and haven't moved into the 21st century, where we understand that children can't consent, and that women should have sovereignty.

Anonymous wrote:In some places in Mexico, kids as young as 12 can marry. In Canada, it's 16. In many places and cultures, wide age differences are viewed as acceptable. Not sure why you think it's a "southern" or religious thing.

Op here. I guess I asked the question poorly. I am well aware that marrying teen girls by much older men is common in many cultures and religions. I had not thought this was a common or accepted practice in any part of the US. I guess I was surprised at some of the comments from Alabama church leaders about the [consentual, legal] relationships between high school girls and men in their 30s to be ok. Some of the mothers of these girls were ok with their daughters being asked out by this guy. Note I am not talking about children below the age of consent and/or nonconsentual which everyone agrees is never ok but some don't believe these women. So the question really was whether this is an accepted practice in mainstream conservative southern churches today.

In some places in Mexico, kids as young as 12 can marry. In Canada, it's 16. In many places and cultures, wide age differences are viewed as acceptable. Not sure why you think it's a "southern" or religious thing.

I've been following the Roy Moore allegations and for the most part could have predicted the entrenched political defenses and accusations. However, I was surprised to read that some evangelical churches are standing behind Moore because they dismiss the story of the most serious allegation (14 year old) but focus on how a 30 something year old "courting" 16-18 year old women is not a bad thing. Is dating across such a wide age gap an accepted practice in some of these southern church communities?