Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks to pp for post above. I want to trust kids, I don't want to be Scrooge, but I am so disappointed, I feel like my heart is crushed, how sad I am about it. I try to do everything right, to be right there, to provide safe environment and yet, I had to witness how disappointed my DD was, she loves to party and she is so embarrassed and sad that her party had to end on that note. It didn't even take an hour. I know that at this party it wasn't her, but I think at somebody's party she would drink too, in fact she has. I talked to her about what does she think I could have done differently and she suggested that maybe I should have asked who was drinking and kicked those kids out if they came forward,in addition to those I caught, as opposed to ending the party. I am going to be honest, looking back maybe that was an option, but then wwyhd? I was lucky to catch it right away.

I think it's really important to teach young women alcohol safety. I know so many who were raped or assaulted after drinking at a college party. It was devastating and affected them well into the future.

I had many conversations with my little sister pre-college about not drinking more than a drink unless you're in a safe environment. It's one thing to get tipsy in your from room with your roommate. It's another to black out at a frat house. Watch out for your friends. Don't drink heavily unless there is someone who is a dd who is going to watch out for you and whom you trust with your life. You don't know anyone well enough the first month of college to trust them in this role. So much bad stuff can happen really fast. Don't be afraid to leave a party early if it's going downhill. Don't let a guy walk you home alone unless you're willing to sleep with him. Watch your drink. You don't have to get blasted to have fun at a party. Go, have one drink and socialize. Etc. Etc.

Anonymous wrote:Here's a whole study for you, OP

https://report.nih.gov/NIHfactsheets/ViewFactSheet.aspx?csid=21


And while it is still a problem, teen drinking has actually DECLINED quite a bit.

https://www.responsibility.org/get-the-facts/research/statistics/underage-drinking-statistics/

Thank you for the links. That is very informative. I am glad that it is in decline.

It's because it's forbidden. Pure and simple. Teens drink because it's exotic and they want to try it. Lower the drinking age and teen drinking will go down. Not right away, but eventually, if kids learn to drink at home and responsibly, it wont be such a big deal.

Very different experience here. We have people from different countries and states/cities in our circle but drinking stories are very similar, there was no such thing as a party without alcohol. The only thing that changed is ubering to and from the parties.

Here's a whole study for you, OP

https://report.nih.gov/NIHfactsheets/ViewFactSheet.aspx?csid=21


And while it is still a problem, teen drinking has actually DECLINED quite a bit.

https://www.responsibility.org/get-the-facts/research/statistics/underage-drinking-statistics/

Yes, lots of people hire police officers. Sometimes to check the bags, but also sometimes to keep the cops from showing up if the neighbors call. It is a whole thing out here. I would think from a liability stand point you could claim you exercised due diligence by hiring a police officer if anything bad happened like the Travilah crash.

Anonymous wrote:Drinking is so much worse now.

I live in the bar area of Clarendonand there are tons of adults 22-30 stumbling around completely incoherent—even in the middle of the day.

Ambulances came 3 times this weekend on our street for adults that wouldn’t stop throwing up, wandering in the middle of the street, etc., passed out on the curb. I saw one topple over in a driveway. My kids saw a 20-something woman fall off the drunk trolley and get dragged before her friends noticed and I’m yelling “man down” at 2pm on a Saturday in front of Whitlows. And this is not isolated event.

I am 50 and did bar crawls (they were a few times per year—not almost every month like now)—and parties in my youth and it was an incredibly rare occurrence for things to ever get that out of control.

I have College age nieces and nephews and the stories they have—kids in rehab are eye-opening.

I have read several articles that surmise it’s the helicopter generation lashing out, coupled with social media.

I tell ya, my tweens have been scared straight watching drunks handcuffed, drunk drivers wrestled to the ground. They don’t see it as glamorous. I remember thinking “oh that never happens as a teen” because I lived in the suburbs and didn’t see the negative aspects—just the fun. It’s easy to reinforce how bad it is when you watch it out your window.

Oh my gosh, you should rent out your front yard for camp-outs with tweens)

OP here. Thanks to pp for post above. I want to trust kids, I don't want to be Scrooge, but I am so disappointed, I feel like my heart is crushed, how sad I am about it. I try to do everything right, to be right there, to provide safe environment and yet, I had to witness how disappointed my DD was, she loves to party and she is so embarrassed and sad that her party had to end on that note. It didn't even take an hour. I know that at this party it wasn't her, but I think at somebody's party she would drink too, in fact she has. I talked to her about what does she think I could have done differently and she suggested that maybe I should have asked who was drinking and kicked those kids out if they came forward,in addition to those I caught, as opposed to ending the party. I am going to be honest, looking back maybe that was an option, but then wwyhd? I was lucky to catch it right away.

Drinking is so much worse now.

I live in the bar area of Clarendonand there are tons of adults 22-30 stumbling around completely incoherent—even in the middle of the day.

Ambulances came 3 times this weekend on our street for adults that wouldn’t stop throwing up, wandering in the middle of the street, etc., passed out on the curb. I saw one topple over in a driveway. My kids saw a 20-something woman fall off the drunk trolley and get dragged before her friends noticed and I’m yelling “man down” at 2pm on a Saturday in front of Whitlows. And this is not isolated event.

I am 50 and did bar crawls (they were a few times per year—not almost every month like now)—and parties in my youth and it was an incredibly rare occurrence for things to ever get that out of control.

I have College age nieces and nephews and the stories they have—kids in rehab are eye-opening.

I have read several articles that surmise it’s the helicopter generation lashing out, coupled with social media.

I tell ya, my tweens have been scared straight watching drunks handcuffed, drunk drivers wrestled to the ground. They don’t see it as glamorous. I remember thinking “oh that never happens as a teen” because I lived in the suburbs and didn’t see the negative aspects—just the fun. It’s easy to reinforce how bad it is when you watch it out your window.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many times this has happened to friends, even to me, adults are there, no alcohol in the house, checking bags, you organize a great party, you hire a police officer and they know this and still bring it.

Wait what? I got stuck on this part. This is not common in my experience at all.

OP here. Yes, in Potomac, I know parents who hired a police officer who was checking the bags, kids knew this will be happening and he still confiscated a lot of booze and pot. It is becoming a thing more and more. I know particularly lawyer parents who do this.

That is simultaneously brilliant, hilarious, and very, very sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many times this has happened to friends, even to me, adults are there, no alcohol in the house, checking bags, you organize a great party, you hire a police officer and they know this and still bring it.

Wait what? I got stuck on this part. This is not common in my experience at all.

Yes, what is this?

OP, there are several historical issues not the least of which is the push-and-pull of puritanism in America with the culture of freedom, especially teenage freedom after Prohibition ended.

So, it is like a rite of passage thing? And has been for centuries?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many times this has happened to friends, even to me, adults are there, no alcohol in the house, checking bags, you organize a great party, you hire a police officer and they know this and still bring it.

Wait what? I got stuck on this part. This is not common in my experience at all.

OP here. Yes, in Potomac, I know parents who hired a police officer who was checking the bags, kids knew this will be happening and he still confiscated a lot of booze and pot. It is becoming a thing more and more. I know particularly lawyer parents who do this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many times this has happened to friends, even to me, adults are there, no alcohol in the house, checking bags, you organize a great party, you hire a police officer and they know this and still bring it.

Wait what? I got stuck on this part. This is not common in my experience at all.

Yes, what is this?

OP, there are several historical issues not the least of which is the push-and-pull of puritanism in America with the culture of freedom, especially teenage freedom after Prohibition ended.

Anonymous wrote:There are so many times this has happened to friends, even to me, adults are there, no alcohol in the house, checking bags, you organize a great party, you hire a police officer and they know this and still bring it.

Wait what? I got stuck on this part. This is not common in my experience at all.

As an immigrant, I find that very confusing. Is there some US historical explanation? I partied in Europe and alcohol was not a big thing at all when we were teens. I am not saying some teens didn't drink, but there was no sneaking alcohol to supervised parties that I ever recall. Times have changed in my country too today, it is not the same at all. When you were a teen did you do this too? There are so many times this has happened to friends, even to me, adults are there, no alcohol in the house, checking bags, you organize a great party, you hire a police officer and they know this and still bring it. What I don't understand is, why? I have heard from parents who organize parties, that just in case, they order Uber for all the teens going home. Does that mean that these parents know kids are drinking, even allow it? Party could be great, there is food, soda, everything, music, and why not have a fun time without risking being caught, being kicked out? I am not willing to risk going to prison to be a "cool" parent. I am of a mind that kids like/ needs parties so they don't go nuts when in college, to learn how to have fun, to not be treated as toddlers at all times. But, they just don't know how to handle clean, nice fun. There are always a few of these kid who just can't resist, and ruin it by getting everybody kicked out. I must be an idiot who never did things like that and I just don't see the need for it, if teens already have permission to have a party, if you do everything you can do make it a nice, fun, safe party, why ruin it for kids who want clean fun?