Anonymous wrote:OP here, since we offered to take her out, we intended to pick up the tab for the whole thing (BF included), as we have done in the past. I'm sure she assumes that too.

I'm sorry but bf isn't a free rider. We normally do this with my girl friends, but we'd never pay for husbands or bfs! And we pick places that are $50 or less for dinner, which is only like $10 when split with the rest of us.

OP here, since we offered to take her out, we intended to pick up the tab for the whole thing (BF included), as we have done in the past. I'm sure she assumes that too.

Why do you have her as a friend?

A friend of mine is known for doing things like this. I distanced myself as a result.

You just need to say it is too expensive for you too. I hope she was kidding. That would be incredibly rude to take advantage of you as her "friend". No real friend would do that

How rude. I'm assuming if she's a good enough friend that you're taking her out to dinner than she should have some idea of your financial comfortability. It sucks that you are now in this position but you should let her know it's out of your price range. And lesson learned, next time ask the birthday person what's their favorite kind of food and then you find a restaurant in your price range.

Does she think you're her fairy godmother?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you’re being cheap. I think she’s taking advantage of you. If it were me, I would straight up tell her that it’s simply out of your budget.

+1

Wondering if your friend is my SIL - classic SIL move!

Sorry but bf needs to pay for dinner if he's coming.

What? If she knows and acknowledges it's that expensive, why would she want you to take her AND her boyfriend there?

Your friend is nuts. I'd say, "oy, it's a little out of our budget too, but I've read great things about <less expensive restaurant>. How about something like that?"

That way, even if she doesn't choose the restaurant you've suggested, she has a cue for how much you're willing to spend.

Lol- did she misunderstood you? You need to let her know that it’s too expensive- don’t let her take advantage of you- even if it’s her bday.

what is the bf paying?

Very rude, I think you're within your rights to say you can't afford something that expensive. Maybe she misunderstood and things her BF is picking up their half?

A restaurant where you're averaging 100 plus a person is out of the range of an acceptable place to accept a paid meal. Unless its specifically picked by the gift giver.

I don’t think you’re being cheap. I think she’s taking advantage of you. If it were me, I would straight up tell her that it’s simply out of your budget.

My friends bday is coming up and we offered to take her out for dinner on her bday and of course she can pick where. She informs us that she's always wanted to try a restaurant but it's too expensive, so that is where she wants us to take her and her boyfriend.

I checked the menu and with wine, cocktails, dessert, tip etc. I imagine the bill is going to be almost $400-$500 and add more for Uber or parking - which is a lot for us. I am stunned, it seems rude. But I am not sure if I am being cheap or a sucker. What would you do?