Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this is a troll.

me too

Yep

Ditto.

This is abusive behavior. He wants power and control over you. This is not healthy. I would seek out domestic violence services in your area.

DC: SAFE - 202-879-0720
Montgomery County: Family Justice Center - 240-773-0444
VA: (703) 237-0881

If he tracks your phone - then be careful and try to use a number that he doesn't have access to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a D/s relationship? This sounds kind of hot to me, but only if it's consensual on the part of both parties, which it doesn't seem to be on yours.

OP here. Not sure what you is meant by a D/s relationship. I'm guessing 'Dom?Sub?' Not intentional. He has always said I'm fat, and that no one else would want me and has said he'd leave if I did not do what he wanted. Always says that a good wife is there for her husband and children thus he never allows me to go out shopping with friends etc. Not that he says 'NO', but again, it would become a big ordeal/fight so better for me to just 'go along'. My daughter is 20 and has turned out wonderful. I still have a younger son.

Okay, your husband is just terrible and this is not normal. You're not fat, other people certainly will want you, and you should show him the door. Then go shopping and buy the things *you* like to wear!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this is a troll.

me too

Has to be a troll or one of the Stepford Wives being re-booted!

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a D/s relationship? This sounds kind of hot to me, but only if it's consensual on the part of both parties, which it doesn't seem to be on yours.

OP here. Not sure what you is meant by a D/s relationship. I'm guessing 'Dom?Sub?' Not intentional. He has always said I'm fat, and that no one else would want me and has said he'd leave if I did not do what he wanted. Always says that a good wife is there for her husband and children thus he never allows me to go out shopping with friends etc. Not that he says 'NO', but again, it would become a big ordeal/fight so better for me to just 'go along'. My daughter is 20 and has turned out wonderful. I still have a younger son.

Do you have a D/s relationship? This sounds kind of hot to me, but only if it's consensual on the part of both parties, which it doesn't seem to be on yours.

Anonymous wrote:I hope this is a troll.

OP here..... I appreciate the honest feedback provided but I am not happy with the way my marriage is and the manner in which I've allowed my husband to make all decisions. My parents divorced when I was in high school and it was devastating to me and my younger brother. At the time, I said I'd never allow my children to have divorced parents. Looking back, I know I likely should have spoken up sooner but have never wanted our children to see us always fighting - thus the decision to just 'go along'.

Classic case of a control-freak selecting a doormat as his mate. It works for a while, then the doormat rebels and that's when you see whether the control-freak is so far gone that he can't handle it (divorce) or whether he can back off a little and make ex-doormat's life bearable.

My control freak husband has no inappropriate interest in my external appearance, thank goodness, but I've had to put my foot down in other ways.
The first fights are always the ugliest ones, but the more consistent you are the easier it gets - just like training a dog or teaching children.

Consistency is key. Just project the utmost confidence in yourself - which is hard to do if you've gone along with it for 27 years. Perhaps you need to make a statement to begin with, like explain how crazy he's been all these years, and that you are considering a separation. Then leave for a nice weekend, go relax, and come back an establish the New Rules.

I hope you're a troll, by the way. Your story is really sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this is a troll.

me too

Yep

Anonymous wrote:I hope this is a troll.

me too

I hope this is a troll.

Of course it’s abnormal. You know that or you wouldn’t have crafted this message.

Very controlling and weird. But you’ve put up with it for close to 30 years so Why you did that is for you to figure out. Would you want you’re young daughter or niece to be controlled like that?

How have you put up with this for that long? Your spouse sounds unbelievably controlling, and there's no way he'll change now. You can decide whether you want to live your life that way, or quit the marriage, but there's no in between.

My husband buys all my work outfits and selects the outfits I wear to work each day including shoes/heels and jewelry. Years ago, If I disagreed with any selections it became a big fight so I simply learned to 'go along'. He always selects form fitting dresses, heels, etc. tight slacks etc. Still looks professional but I am now in my 40s. He also makes me check in several times a day via face time to prove I am 'where' I'm supposed to be. He says it is for my own 'safety'. Half kiddingly (I think) he occasionally says that he dated my best friend in high school simply to get closer to me and that it was me he wanted all along. Ok, is all this abnormal or weird? Been together 27 years and married 22. Anyone else ever experience anything like this?