Anonymous wrote:It means you are willing to hurt the people around you.

Sometimes throwing an elbow is okay - assuming the people around you are doing the same. This means that that the rules of the workplace are not normal, and you would be a fool if you played by the rules when others do not.

It means you are willing to hurt the people around you.

Agree usually negative but it depends on who is saying it. I’ve heard lawyers use it to refer to other lawyers, meaning they will be aggressive, maybe skirt the rules as much as they can to get what they want, etc. and the lawyers saying it didn’t really mean it as criticism—just a description of a style of advocacy.
I assumed it came from sports—like hockey or soccer where you’re not allowed to push someone outright but if you elbow them a little you probably won’t get called by the ref. But I know very little about sports.

It’s a negative. As for women, it’s not exclusive. I look at such people, regardless of gender, as a$$holes. If the boss either likes that behavior or tolerates it, time to look for another job. YOur hard work won’t be rewarded. If you resort to such behavior, you’ll be the one who gets caught.

It's against women, and it usually means "aggressive" (a negative) rather than "assertive" (which is more neutral).

Anonymous wrote:It’s also feedback that is almost always given to women, rather than men.

“Shoving elbows” is the opposite of sitting in line and waiting your turn, which is still largely what’s expected of women in the workplace. There are plenty of “elbowy” men in the world, but they’re generally described more positively (e.g. “takes charge” “natural leader”).

Yes this--I think it's an extremely gendered criticism, like "abrasive" and "emotional."

That said, if someone said this about me, if it was a person whose opinion I respected OR someone who was my supervisor, I would ask them if they could explain what they meant so I would be aware of it and try to address it.

If it came from a person whose opinion I did not respect and was not my supervisor, I would just tell them to F off in my mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way I have heard it used is in terms of having "sharp elbows". Not good as it means you will stick it to other people to get ahead of them, not a nice colleague.

Yes, sharp elbows, elbowy. How does someone stick it to colleagues?

On way would be by being out for oneself, rather than working to help the team. Taking credit for the ideas or work of others, making a colleague look bad in front of the boss could be some other ways.

Anonymous wrote:The only way I have heard it used is in terms of having "sharp elbows". Not good as it means you will stick it to other people to get ahead of them, not a nice colleague.

Yes, sharp elbows, elbowy. How does someone stick it to colleagues?

It’s also feedback that is almost always given to women, rather than men.

“Shoving elbows” is the opposite of sitting in line and waiting your turn, which is still largely what’s expected of women in the workplace. There are plenty of “elbowy” men in the world, but they’re generally described more positively (e.g. “takes charge” “natural leader”).

Negative

Anonymous wrote:Pushy or ambitious, with a suggestion of being willing to fight dirty. Which I suppose can be a positive thing, depending on how your employer feels about such things. Would not be a positive for people under me.

+1 and it would be seen as a huge negative at my employer.

Pushy or ambitious, with a suggestion of being willing to fight dirty. Which I suppose can be a positive thing, depending on how your employer feels about such things. Would not be a positive for people under me.

Depends on the context, but without any, I would say it's largely negative. Like shoehorning into projects, offices, etc. that are not yours. Pushy.

The only way I have heard it used is in terms of having "sharp elbows". Not good as it means you will stick it to other people to get ahead of them, not a nice colleague.

Thanks.