Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 22:39     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Date night in when kid goes to sleep. Drink some wine, stay up late, and have great sex. We reversed our dry spell after 2 kids this way.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 22:31     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Anonymous wrote:“Pressure that comes from expectation of having sex”

You mean like being in a committed relationship?
Is that too much pressure? Remain single and don’t date.


Yep. Friend I have did not like scheduled sex. It just didn't work for them.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 22:18     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
“Pressure that comes from expectation of having sex”

You mean like being in a committed relationship?
Is that too much pressure? Remain single and don’t date.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 17:35     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Local hotels are awesome


This backfired on us - it put wayyyy to much pressure on the interaction.


Scheduling can probably be problematic for some couples for similar reasons. If it's just a hectic schedule bumping sex down on the priority list, and both partners generally like sex when it's happening, scheduling and the occasional hotel are probably good strategies. If something else is going on - resentment, body image issues, etc. - the pressure that comes from the expectation of having sex can make someone's libido even worse.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 15:21     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
We're a household with 3 kids and we shoot for 5am and typically stick to that schedule twice a week.

The touch of my ass is when I know it's on and popping. If this couldn't happen, we'll be in the same boat.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 14:20     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Anonymous wrote:Local hotels are awesome


This backfired on us - it put wayyyy to much pressure on the interaction.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 14:17     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Local hotels are awesome
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 14:13     Subject: Re:If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Another vote for scheduling. We put it on the calendar 1x per week when we know we have time.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 12:58     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
We schedule it. It's literally on our Google Calendar. Even with that, we're probably only at 50% success. Mostly because by the time we get to bed, we're already exhausted.

My other solution has been pre-daycare pick up sex. On a day I work from home, he comes home a bit early and we have enough energy and interest to enjoy it. A quick shower and we pick up the kids.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 09:40     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Definitely schedule and find a way to 'anticipate' it a bit (glass of wine, bubble bath before, etc.). For me, my hormones definitely were out of whack after one kid but came back after we had another (not sure correlation = causation so it might have just been my age/ hormones). But it definitely got better for me several years after the first baby.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 06:34     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound “fun” but we literally schedule it and don’t skip it unless one of us is ill. Otherwise, I don’t know that we’d ever do it. In fact, I know we wouldn’t because we went months without.


I agree with this advice. Make it sometime when you are fairly certain toddler will be asleep or away on a regular basis. Sunday morning, so everybody is rested is a good time.

The scheduling doesn't sound sexy, and I know it can turn some people off. But instead of thinking about it as scheduled and a chore, think of it as a date. A date for Sunday morning is kind of sexy, and something to anticipate.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 00:33     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
It doesn’t sound “fun” but we literally schedule it and don’t skip it unless one of us is ill. Otherwise, I don’t know that we’d ever do it. In fact, I know we wouldn’t because we went months without.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2017 00:23     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
In the same boat for years. Sorry I don’t have advice!
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2017 23:05     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
Anonymous wrote:DH and I are in our 40s and have a toddler. We're tired all the time and a sex has just not been made a priority since DS was born. DH is also on a drug that reduces his libido. So while we talk about it like "yeah we should do that," neither of us has been motivated to initiate. Marriage is happy and solid, but we're missing this piece. How do we get our groove back?


Grandparents around? Have them stay with kids and you guys get a hotel, even just local...
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2017 21:06     Subject: If your marriage rebounded from a dry spell.. how?
DH and I are in our 40s and have a toddler. We're tired all the time and a sex has just not been made a priority since DS was born. DH is also on a drug that reduces his libido. So while we talk about it like "yeah we should do that," neither of us has been motivated to initiate. Marriage is happy and solid, but we're missing this piece. How do we get our groove back?