Anonymous
10/21/2017 23:21
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Anonymous wrote:Is she in the same local area as you?
She was in my same state but about 2 hours away.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 23:20
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Anonymous wrote:Are you open about using a surrogate? I ask because 12 years ago, a relative suddenly announced they were adopting and kept using this term.
But, years later, it was announced that a surrogate had been used...
We were open. We didn’t care.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 23:20
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Anonymous wrote:How did the surrogate emotionally separate herself from the baby?
Did the surrogate breastfeed at least during the first few days of colostrum?
She did not want anymore children but loves being pregnant so she was happy to and happy for us to wrap things up and and move on. She did not provide breast milk or breastfeed. I did not want that.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 23:16
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
I’m not OP. Am not sure where she disappeared to so I will be “SOP” (substitute OP until she comes back) since we also used a surrogate.
It cost us 80k total. Her fee was $33k. We paid for it with a home equity loan. We had purchased a foreclosure really cheaply in a nice neighborhood so our monthly expenses did not increase much. Then we sold an investment property at the right time and paid everything down.
We are still in touch - very similar approaches to life.
The most surprising aspect was how helpless you can feel since the pregnancy is in someone else’s hands and you have to just trust them.
The whole process took 13 months, which is unusually quick but we had PGS tested embryos and were matched quickly. Also, our carrier was not the same race.
It cost us 80k total. Her fee was $33k. We paid for it with a home equity loan. We had purchased a foreclosure really cheaply in a nice neighborhood so our monthly expenses did not increase much. Then we sold an investment property at the right time and paid everything down.
We are still in touch - very similar approaches to life.
The most surprising aspect was how helpless you can feel since the pregnancy is in someone else’s hands and you have to just trust them.
The whole process took 13 months, which is unusually quick but we had PGS tested embryos and were matched quickly. Also, our carrier was not the same race.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 22:07
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
How did the surrogate emotionally separate herself from the baby?
Did the surrogate breastfeed at least during the first few days of colostrum?
Did the surrogate breastfeed at least during the first few days of colostrum?
Anonymous
10/21/2017 21:56
Subject: Re:I used a surrogate - AMA
How much did it all cost?
Anonymous
10/21/2017 21:44
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Anonymous wrote:Are you open about using a surrogate? I ask because 12 years ago, a relative suddenly announced they were adopting and kept using this term.
But, years later, it was announced that a surrogate had been used...
Legally they may have had to do an adoption, especially if it was not their sperm and egg so it was an adoption, but they had far more control than a regular one.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 21:26
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Are you open about using a surrogate? I ask because 12 years ago, a relative suddenly announced they were adopting and kept using this term.
But, years later, it was announced that a surrogate had been used...
But, years later, it was announced that a surrogate had been used...
Anonymous
10/21/2017 19:53
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
How much did it cost when all was said and done? How much went directly to the surrogate?
What was the most surprising aspect you weren't expecting?
Did you choose a particular state to make the legalities "safer"/less risk?
What was the most surprising aspect you weren't expecting?
Did you choose a particular state to make the legalities "safer"/less risk?
Anonymous
10/21/2017 19:53
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Is she in the same local area as you?
Anonymous
10/21/2017 19:52
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Is she of the same race? Were you able to be present at the birth?
Anonymous
10/21/2017 19:52
Subject: Re:I used a surrogate - AMA
I hate to be blunt but what was the cash figure. We have done 3 rounds of IVF and we are willing to throw another 35k into "our struggle". Would this amount of money provide a surrogate opportunity? Im just now starting to mentally think about it as a real option and want to know if its even financially possible before I start researching too much.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 19:49
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Anonymous wrote:Do you keep in touch with her?
Yes, we did develop a special bond. I met her entire family - husband, kids, parents, even aunts and uncles. I think if certain circumstances were different and we met in another way, we still would have been good friends.
Anonymous
10/21/2017 19:00
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
Do you keep in touch with her?
Anonymous
10/21/2017 18:22
Subject: I used a surrogate - AMA
In case anyone was wondering about the process. I'm happy to answer any questions.