Anonymous wrote:Maybe take him to a store and let him pick something out? Maybe not make a big deal when he dresses nice? When my kids get dressed up they get lots of compliments and attention from grandparents, friends, etc, maybe he doesn't like the attention? Have him wear some nicer clothes around the house on a Saturday and don't make a big deal out of it so he feels more comfortable.

NP— This might be it. My kid is pretty extroverted but HATES the extra attention and fawning she gets when “dressed up.”

Anonymous wrote:Maybe take him to a store and let him pick something out? Maybe not make a big deal when he dresses nice? When my kids get dressed up they get lots of compliments and attention from grandparents, friends, etc, maybe he doesn't like the attention? Have him wear some nicer clothes around the house on a Saturday and don't make a big deal out of it so he feels more comfortable.

That's a good idea! Thank you.

Maybe take him to a store and let him pick something out? Maybe not make a big deal when he dresses nice? When my kids get dressed up they get lots of compliments and attention from grandparents, friends, etc, maybe he doesn't like the attention? Have him wear some nicer clothes around the house on a Saturday and don't make a big deal out of it so he feels more comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:What dressier occasions? Are you sure people care?

Do the khaki options you own have elastic waists or does he have to deal with a button?

He's 4, so this will pass, and I would say to only make him wear "dressy" clothes that are really comfortable for now.

For me, I don't really care if other people care. I care, that's enough for me. We do really limit these occasions. But think family pictures session, occasional church events, and this upcoming wedding!! He is the ring bearer, he's not wearing sweats.

The khakis we have are all elastic waist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he miserable the whole time he is wearing his nice clothes, OP?

Nope, not miserable the whole time. Just at the beginning.

Then push through. I would NOT offer the babysitter option.
FWIW, I think this is common with many 4 year olds. Getting dressed was a battle when ds was in Pre-k. Then he was fine in kindergarten. Sounds like this is about control.

Anonymous wrote:Is he miserable the whole time he is wearing his nice clothes, OP?

Nope, not miserable the whole time. Just at the beginning.

Anonymous wrote:Either he wears the dressier clothes that he picks out or he doesn't go to the event. Line up a babysitter and ask him the day before the event if he is going to wear his dress clothes or stay home.

But he often doesn't care about going anyway - wouldn't he just take this option each time?

What dressier occasions? Are you sure people care?

Do the khaki options you own have elastic waists or does he have to deal with a button?

He's 4, so this will pass, and I would say to only make him wear "dressy" clothes that are really comfortable for now.

Is he miserable the whole time he is wearing his nice clothes, OP?

Either he wears the dressier clothes that he picks out or he doesn't go to the event. Line up a babysitter and ask him the day before the event if he is going to wear his dress clothes or stay home.

Mine too. At 4.5 he's only just beginning to grow out of it.

At 4.5 he shouldn't be tantruming like that. Something else is going on.

Anonymous wrote: Are you sure is not a sensory issue?

Pretty sure it's not. There's nothing else that sets him off like this.

Are you sure is not a sensory issue?

Our 4.5yo DS is generally a sweet, agreeable kid, we have no behavioral issues whatsoever. But we have been massively struggling with clothing lately. For the most part, we "pick our battles" and just let him wear what he wants (sweats, t-shirts, jeans, mismatching, whatever.) However, for occasions that call for dressier attire, things are going off the rails. He flat out refuses to wear anything like khakis and collared shirts. He tantrums, screams, and totally loses it. This has been happening for the past six months or so. When we discuss it with him at times outside the heat of the moment, he claims it's because he "doesn't want anybody to see me in them," which just sounds ridiculous to us. We've tried humor, bribery, physically forcing him in clothes, letting him pick from a selection of dressier clothes .... we are at a loss here. We have a wedding coming up, lots of mandatory dressy days. Anyone BTDT? What can we do here? Thanks!