Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The excuses for men here are outrageous and depressing in their predictability .

Let's see if I can get them all in before more similarly-minded posters come along.

-Men, unlike women, need to unwind. Cut him some slack.

-Kids are just kind of boring (only to men, apparently) until they're like 2. Wait, no-- 4. Wait, no-- 6. Wait, no--

-This is the way men bond, by ignoring their kids. Women like to woman-y things like speak to their children, do chores with their children, interact with or at least do some sort of parallel work in the vicinity of their children. Having reasonably similar expectations of poor, stupid, clueless men is misandry!

-If you have a problem with anything Dad does, you are a Micromanaging Harpy. Also selfish and ungrateful.

-I mean, what did your father even do? How about your grandfather? At least your husband probably knows the kid's name, unlike every one of his male ancestors, who used their children as footstools and martini-bringers. You don't know how good you have it.

-I'm going to assume facts to in evidence by pretending this is only a small part of their time together (even though you said it's almost all of their time) and go off on a tangent about moderation.

-I personally have fond memories of doing this with my dad, albeit at a much older age, which makes it totally fine.

-You probably used a "tone" in speaking to him, so you deserve whatever you get in response. Unlike a woman would, he now has every right to take his ball and storm off in a huff. If he doesn't speak to his child again for the next 16 years, well, you both deserve it, you Micromanaging Harpy.

-Women these days blah blah blah.

Have I about covered it?

OP's husband needs to step up his game, and OP also needs to learn to communicate. How is the kid 2 years old and they've never had a conversation about what they, as a family, think is an acceptable amount of screen time? Just a strange dynamic all around.

Anonymous wrote:During an “argument” between DH and I today, I brought up how he interacts with our almost 2 yo DS. We weren’t raising our voices, but the conversation was still tense.

Basically, anytime I leave them alone together DH turns the TV on to kids shows while he plays on his phone. I told him that I wanted him to interact with DC and do more with him. I don’t care what they do (go outside, play in the nursery, go to a park for 20 minutes) but it would be nice to see them do something other than watch the TV.

He already doesn’t see DS that much. During the work week it’s only a half hour in the morning and evenings. On the weekends I take a few hours to catch up on work at the library. DH likes this arrangement, it’s a good opportunity for him to send time with DS.

It was surprising when DH became defensive about the screen time. Had an objection to every activity I brought up. Most of them surrounding how difficult it is to interact with a toddler, so what’s the point. He feels justified in his current parenting pattern and furthermore feels I am trying to control their relationship.


I’m flabbergasted. To me, it is obvious that children should have more interaction from their parents than this. And DH has always been a good man, so his reaction really surprised me. I was expecting him to acknowledge the excessive TV time and offer to do something with him in the near future.

I need some perspective.

Anonymous wrote:The excuses for men here are outrageous and depressing in their predictability .

Let's see if I can get them all in before more similarly-minded posters come along.

-Men, unlike women, need to unwind. Cut him some slack.

-Kids are just kind of boring (only to men, apparently) until they're like 2. Wait, no-- 4. Wait, no-- 6. Wait, no--

-This is the way men bond, by ignoring their kids. Women like to woman-y things like speak to their children, do chores with their children, interact with or at least do some sort of parallel work in the vicinity of their children. Having reasonably similar expectations of poor, stupid, clueless men is misandry!

-If you have a problem with anything Dad does, you are a Micromanaging Harpy. Also selfish and ungrateful.

-I mean, what did your father even do? How about your grandfather? At least your husband probably knows the kid's name, unlike every one of his male ancestors, who used their children as footstools and martini-bringers. You don't know how good you have it.

-I'm going to assume facts to in evidence by pretending this is only a small part of their time together (even though you said it's almost all of their time) and go off on a tangent about moderation.

-I personally have fond memories of doing this with my dad, albeit at a much older age, which makes it totally fine.

-You probably used a "tone" in speaking to him, so you deserve whatever you get in response. Unlike a woman would, he now has every right to take his ball and storm off in a huff. If he doesn't speak to his child again for the next 16 years, well, you both deserve it, you Micromanaging Harpy.

-Women these days blah blah blah.

Have I about covered it?

Anonymous wrote:My DH did this with our older son, too. It was awful. In our case, our son ended up with severe ADD which the specialists said excessive TV caused.

DH learned his lesson but at our older son's expense. It still pisses me off.

I should have insisted that they take a music class or gym class together on Saturday mornings since he was incapable of playing with his son on his own.

Anonymous wrote:You told your DH he was a shitty parent, and you are amazed that he got mad?

Sign your DS up for a Saturday class and have your DH take him, and then leave it alone.

Anonymous wrote:During an “argument” between DH and I today, I brought up how he interacts with our almost 2 yo DS. We weren’t raising our voices, but the conversation was still tense.

Basically, anytime I leave them alone together DH turns the TV on to kids shows while he plays on his phone. I told him that I wanted him to interact with DC and do more with him. I don’t care what they do (go outside, play in the nursery, go to a park for 20 minutes) but it would be nice to see them do something other than watch the TV.

He already doesn’t see DS that much. During the work week it’s only a half hour in the morning and evenings. On the weekends I take a few hours to catch up on work at the library. DH likes this arrangement, it’s a good opportunity for him to send time with DS.

It was surprising when DH became defensive about the screen time. Had an objection to every activity I brought up. Most of them surrounding how difficult it is to interact with a toddler, so what’s the point. He feels justified in his current parenting pattern and furthermore feels I am trying to control their relationship.


I’m flabbergasted. To me, it is obvious that children should have more interaction from their parents than this. And DH has always been a good man, so his reaction really surprised me. I was expecting him to acknowledge the excessive TV time and offer to do something with him in the near future.

I need some perspective.