I had dated in high school but married my first serious boyfriend, who I met my freshman year of college. we've had our ups and downs but we are still happily married some 20 years after we first met. I confess, it seems a little nuts to me now that I know more about life. We were young and in love and it felt right. But it has worked out for us. Cons are obvious - just that you know so little about the world and about yourself and each other at that age. Pros are real though - you have a chance to grow up together, and fit your lives around one another in a way that is harder when everyone is older and more set in their ways. I have also just had him (and he has had me) as an anchor through some very turbulent periods in our lives.

There's no one right answer as to whether it is a good decision for your friend.

Anonymous wrote:Arranged marriages do it all the time

Ha no. Two of my friends got married to a stranger through arranged marriages. They didn't marry until they were 25/26 put they had dated since high school with other people. It's just that none of the other people were suitable to their families or suitable for marriage. So the family found someone who checked off the boxes necessary but prior to that first meeting with the 'intended' they didn't know them.

41. Not married. Six serious relationships under my belt. Might as well have married my first boyfriend. He was the best of all of them. He's now happily married and seems like a great husband and dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did and we divorced after 20 years. It surprised everyone because we had been together so long and through so much. However, what most people didn't know was the emotional abuse behind the scenes. Once I "came out" to people they fully supported me leaving and helped.

You were gay?

NP but "stopped keeping his secrets" is how I phrase it when I talk about my ex.

Anonymous wrote:I did and we divorced after 20 years. It surprised everyone because we had been together so long and through so much. However, what most people didn't know was the emotional abuse behind the scenes. Once I "came out" to people they fully supported me leaving and helped.

You were gay?

I did and we divorced after 20 years. It surprised everyone because we had been together so long and through so much. However, what most people didn't know was the emotional abuse behind the scenes. Once I "came out" to people they fully supported me leaving and helped.

Yep. Just celebrated 20 years married to my first boyfriend at 18.

I married my first GF. We were each other's first and the whole relationship lasted 9 years and ended with her having multiple affairs. Looking back, she was a hypersexual person and never had the chance to date around. I think that eventually her curiosity and unresolved issues in our relationship made the whole thing blow up.

Yep, first real boyfriend and we started dating in HS. We've been married 9 years and together 16 and it's been wonderful. No regrets!

I had gone on what seemed like lots of dates (probably with 12-15 people), but never had someone I considered a boyfriend until I met my husband. I was only 19.

We grew up together. 17 years later and he's still my rock.

Yep. I was young and naive. Divorcing him now and my life has been tough.

I probably would have at the time, thank god he knew better.

Now I’m stuck forever with my second boyfriend. I make bad life decisions.

No for me, but hey, if you find the right person, why search any longer?

Arranged marriages do it all the time

I have a friend who's doing this. First guy she ever dated.

How do you know this is it if you have nothing to compare it to?