It should be in proportion to your income. If he earns twice as much as you, he should do one-third of the sick days.

In any case they get sick a lot less in a year or so.

Anonymous wrote:My husband makes a lot more money than I do (I scaled back when we had kids) and so whenever our kid is sick (which is a lot - she is 5) I am the default parent to call into work. Does this seem fair? I'm afraid my boss will lose patience with me.

My wife makes considerably more than I do and has a much more important job. I probably did 80% or more of the sick care for our kid. Makes sense to me.

It's varied over the years in our house. When each of our kids were babies, my husband took more sick days because I was out of leave after maternity leave. Other times we decided based on who could take a day more easily - so whoever didn't have a meeting stayed, for example. When I worked from home, it was always me.

If neither of you wants to take care if your child when she's sick, tell her she'll just have to suck it up and go to school.

Some jobs are flexible, or have windows of flexibility. Other jobs are more rigid. You should talk to your husband about being the default if it bothers you.

I was the default for years. After she was about 6, I made it clear that I couldn't do XYZ on a certain day. With compromise, we get it done. Now that she's a teen, I still do the more important doctor visits. He never remembers what to ask, and cant seem to convey the right information. He's primary on the orthodontist.

Anonymous wrote:
Why didn't you discuss these issues BEFORE your wedding?

"Let's circle back to point 7486.4- potential sick days for our potential children, under fact pattern F. Who will stay home in the following scenario- you make more money, but I have a more unsympathetic boss? What then?"

DH and I take turns with sick kids, but we make similar amounts of money. I would not have agreed to dial back my career after having kids.

Anonymous wrote:I generally think that's fair since he makes more therefore presumably you all "need" his job more but you can discuss whether he has any flexibility to take time off sometimes. If you don't have family around who would take a sick kid to watch, you can also try to find a babysitter who could watch her on not particularly contagious days like ear infection.

What happens if I lose my job because I'm calling in too often? We need my income even if it's less than his.

I generally think that's fair since he makes more therefore presumably you all "need" his job more but you can discuss whether he has any flexibility to take time off sometimes. If you don't have family around who would take a sick kid to watch, you can also try to find a babysitter who could watch her on not particularly contagious days like ear infection.

Anonymous wrote:My husband makes a lot more money than I do (I scaled back when we had kids) and so whenever our kid is sick (which is a lot - she is 5) I am the default parent to call into work. Does this seem fair? I'm afraid my boss will lose patience with me.

So sit down and talk it through with your husband. This is what we do. We communicate and figure it out. I make more than my wife, but that doesn't mean I don't stay home with the kids when they're sick. When we know one of them is sick, we both look at what is happening at work and whose schedule has the most flexibility that day. Sometimes it's me and sometimes it's her.

Anonymous wrote:He makes more moron

Red Herring.

He gets sick leave doesn't he? He should use it.

Why didn't you discuss these issues BEFORE your wedding?

He makes more moron

Anonymous wrote:My husband makes a lot more money than I do (I scaled back when we had kids) and so whenever our kid is sick (which is a lot - she is 5) I am the default parent to call into work. Does this seem fair? I'm afraid my boss will lose patience with me.

absolutely fair. I don't understand why females are always the one that do SAH. But of the drop offs at our elementary school, 95% are women. It is like if you have a vagina you automatically qualify to not work and stay at home.

My husband makes a lot more money than I do (I scaled back when we had kids) and so whenever our kid is sick (which is a lot - she is 5) I am the default parent to call into work. Does this seem fair? I'm afraid my boss will lose patience with me.