What would I do? I'd get into counseling as soon as possible because we had 2 kids depending on us to do everything we could to figure this out. Because doing everything we could to try to save our marriage is cheaper than divorce.

If after really trying to figure it out through counseling it still isn't going to work out, then so be it. But I wouldn't be able to look at my kids and say I did right by them if I didn't do everything in my power to make the marriage work. (I would not be saying this if there was abuse involved).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone mis-remembers the past (I was forced into marriage. Really, by gun point!?!) they are usually having an affair.

Or they are just a stupid manipulative asshole.

This. Misremembering the past was manipulation amd gaslighting on XH's part. I should have left and stayed gone when I had the first chance.There were too many fights that didn't make sense and I was never allowed to be angry or win. He would twist the truth and my words, so that he always won.

Anonymous wrote:Adultery, Abuse or Addiction are marriage-ending

Sexless marriage would be worse marriage-ending than adultery

Anonymous wrote:When someone mis-remembers the past (I was forced into marriage. Really, by gun point!?!) they are usually having an affair.

Or they are just a stupid manipulative asshole.

When someone mis-remembers the past (I was forced into marriage. Really, by gun point!?!) they are usually having an affair.

NP. The deal breaker for me was something that probably would hardly have registered for other people. However, after years of disappointment, bitterness, selfishness, and a multitude of bad behavior including cheating, it was just like that little tiny straw that broke the camel's back. If you're done, you know it. Upwards and onwards.

Not marriage ending to me. Not even close. My husband mentioned divorce six months in--most people might consider this a deal breaker. We are still married many years later.

Anonymous wrote:If it was a marriage ender, why are you still together two months later?


Hyperbole much?

My marriage ended way before I filed. Approximately 6 months before the filing for me. Turned out it was longer for XH. He was waiting for me to file.

If it was a marriage ender, why are you still together two months later?


Hyperbole much?

I would go to couples counseling. Maybe it could help you reset and get past this. Even if you're right and the marriage is over, it could help you get some perspective on things and improve your relationship enough to co-parent in a functional way after you get divorced.

OP here, summer was awful. Yes it is a culmination of a number of factors and recurring fights. This one took the cake and I refuse to take any more bs

On my son's birthday, in NYC, ex grabbed our preschooler's hand and refused to carry any of the gear up the subway stairs. I have a mobility disorder. I asked him to help carry the heavy bags. He said no, took our child, and left me there at the bottom of two flights of stairs. This was after a long day and I was exhausted. I called the divorce lawyer when I returned home.

Adultery, Abuse or Addiction are marriage-ending

wait you had a marriage ending fight 2 months ago? But you haven't ended the marriage? How have the last 2 months been?

Everyone has their own deal breakers. And everyone has their own fighting styles. I would think it would have to be a culmination of a number of factors rather than one fight leading to the end of the marriage.

DH and I had what I consider to be a marriage ending fight. I am so hurt, I just haven't been able to get over this last argument and it's been 2 months now. What would you consider marriage ending? 12 years into the marriage with 2 kids, he says he was forced into the marriage. Well that's news to me, and I didn't force him. Obviously something else was happening on his end but I just can't get over it. He shouted at me like a Lion and I was literally shaking. Not the first time. I just can't even look at him anymore. WWYD? What constitutes marriage ending argument for you DCUM land?