I see why some are responding that way - but I'm not a psychologist or therapist, and while researching this topic I've found that some researchers call this "AED" while others call it "boomerang kids," or "failure to launch." I'm not sure of the true clinical categorization. If anyone is so inclined, they can look up the work of Dr. Eli Lebowitz of Yale University - he may have coined AED, not sure.

Anonymous wrote:This is the funniest thread I've ever read.

That speaks volumes about you.....

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is an extremely embarrassing and humiliating problem. I see why some think it's funny. Vast majority of young adults move on to independence but some can't do it because of a toxic combination of poor parenting + unaddressed psychological issues. It's what 11:49 said.

I think people think it's a joke because of the AED in the title. You are medicalizing poor parenting affecting the affluent, instead of calling it "crappy parenting" which is what poor/low income parents face.

Lol and amen to work hard or perish. I'm tough as hell because of it. But they coddled my younger sibling. Almost 30 and lives with our grandparents. Pays for nothing and they excuse it by saying well he doesn't have a job. No shit, that's the problem!

OP here. This is an extremely embarrassing and humiliating problem. I see why some think it's funny. Vast majority of young adults move on to independence but some can't do it because of a toxic combination of poor parenting + unaddressed psychological issues. It's what 11:49 said.

Why couldn't I have parents who gave me AED?! Damn, I had WHOP disease (work hard or perish) because of my parents.

This is my 45-year-old sister who still lives in our parents' house. Mom died a couple of months ago and I think we should sell the house, but I have no idea how to get my sister out of there. If you have a kid like this, please don't be like my parents and enable the behavior.

Like all difficult situations, it comes from parents and children alike - since they often inherit their mental disorders or problematic personalities. Even if the parents are functional and have done all they can, sometimes the child has issues too large to be effectively treated.

My nephew is like this. Parents are weird, he's weird (and by that I mean has several diagnosed disorders), they can't get out of their genetic and environmental problem. On the surface, they're all lovely and intelligent people.

I'm sorry, OP. I believe that in severe cases, it's better to let the adult child live with his parents.

This is the funniest thread I've ever read.

Parents are mainly to blame but the dependent adult child often resists therapy for their issue (again, could be severe anxiety, depression, etc). These parents typically refuse to kick their child out due to guilt or fear that the child will harm themselves or others. I know for some of you out there this is laughable, and on some level I get it, but I am really hoping to find referrals to someone who has expertise in this area.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's an official diagnosis, but it's a pattern of family behavior that involves parents who overly accommodate dependent "adult children" that are likely dealing with untreated depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.

Who are dealing with these untreated issues - the incompetent parents or the "kids?"

Poor babies.

Hilarious. Can you get on disability for this affliction?

I don't think it's an official diagnosis, but it's a pattern of family behavior that involves parents who overly accommodate dependent "adult children" that are likely dealing with untreated depression, anxiety, OCD, etc.

Is this a diagnosis now? LOL

Looking for therapists or psychologists with experience counseling adult children who are not independent, and parents who provide them age-inappropriate assistance (shelter, internet access, food, utilities, etc).