Anonymous wrote:Yes, the boys who are trying to be cool use bad language. My DS doesn't, but he also doesn't point out to the other kids that they are doing something wrong. I saw a big divide in the boys in MS -- the "cool kids" started swearing, "dating" girls, and blowing off school work. My DS decided that wasn't his scene and found a new group of friends.

Jeez. Judge much...

YOU ARE ALL RIDICULOUS! CHILDREN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE MUST NOT SPEAK FOUL LANGUAGE? ARE YOU ALL HEATHENS? DO YOU NOT HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE???? SEE THE LIGHT, THIS IS JUST UNACCEPTABLE.

I still remember the kids who cursed on our bus in middle school, and this was back in 1990-1993. The ringleader was called Snausages...because once he ate Snausages.

Simpler times.

The other kids won't expect him to curse, so that part is fine. But I agree that you really need to work with him not to react at all when other kids do it around him. That will make him a target for certain types of kids who aren't his friends.

No one is going to notice that he's not using bad language - just make sure he doesn't react when other kids use typical 13 year old curse words. My DS decided for himself that it was OK to curse with his friends when he was 13, so beginning of 8th grade. He's 16 and I've never really heard many curse words out of him (DH and I are much worse).

For crying out loud, there are worse things in life -- or MIDDLE SCHOOL for that matter -- than bad words!

Agree that it's normal, but you should also expect that from time to time your kid will forget his/her place and use the bad language at home in front of you. Just remind him that there's a time and place for that language. My not neuro-typical kid sometimes forgets and so it can be a bit embarrassing when he cusses in front of the grandparents, for example.

Tell him to just not use it himself, don't point out when other kids do it, and CERTAINLY don't tell on them.

Yes, it's normal. I told my daughter I don't care that she curses (I do) as long as she doesn't do it around adults or little kids. I know she curses with her friends.

My daughter just started 6th grade and came home appalled that someone had written the F-word on the bathroom wall. She has heard me drop the F-bomb a million and one times, so I'm not sure why she was so appalled, but there you have it. Cursing probably happens in every middle school.

OP here. Sounds about right I guess for boys. Glad he doesnt do it but assume he might want to blend in at some point. I will be sure he doesnt make it into an issue...perhaps I should start cussing at home...lol Kidding of course

My middle schooler knows better than to cuss in front of me but I'm sure he probably does around his friends.

Yes, the boys who are trying to be cool use bad language. My DS doesn't, but he also doesn't point out to the other kids that they are doing something wrong. I saw a big divide in the boys in MS -- the "cool kids" started swearing, "dating" girls, and blowing off school work. My DS decided that wasn't his scene and found a new group of friends.

Seems to be the norm among boys. I correct my son's language when I hear it at home (usually when he's talking w/ friends while playing videogames) but don't police it outside of that.

I think it is normal for kids to start using bad language around each other but for the parents not to know!

Is it normal for kids to start using bad language starting in Middle School? My son is not neurotypical so he still feels that bad language is taboo. I am worried that he is going to be singled out for not being cool. I told him to ignore it and dont point it out because it will just make him stand out. He said most of the bad language happens during PE. When I have gone to the fields I can overhear the kids on the basketball courts and soccer fields but tend to ignore it. Curious how other parents handle it.