Anonymous wrote:We have two kids 10 and 8 and they are #1 in my wife's eyes. I'm a firm #3 and don't really like it.

Are your kids or your spouse your top priority?

Is she #1 to you? Or do you expect her to do most of the parenting work and also tend to you more than you tend to her?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband is first, because we are a team. It's better for the kids that way.

Husband has to act like a teammate in order to come first. If DH asks to be number one, he's likely just adding duties to DW's plate. If you take duties from her plate, she'll have more time for you.

+1. My husband is #1 but in a different way than I relate to the children. If he whined about feeling like #1 and did not pull his weight as a husband and a parent he would not be #1 in any way. He would be my least favorite child.

I would hate it too, OP. That's why I decided long ago to be childfree.

you are not going to get any love on dcums about this topic. people here are under the misconception that life should revolve around the kids 100% of the time. I disagree with that philosophy because bottom line is that kids will grow up and leave. The husband-wife relationship is the one that should be primarily maintained and focused on because that is the one that should last beyond child rearing.

Also, the whole "its for the kids" and "rationale" which justifies anything is sure to be used on this thread. Hint.... if you are not willing to sacrifice everything "for the kids" then you are a bad person.

Anonymous wrote:Husband is first, because we are a team. It's better for the kids that way.

Husband has to act like a teammate in order to come first. If DH asks to be number one, he's likely just adding duties to DW's plate. If you take duties from her plate, she'll have more time for you.

Anonymous wrote:Husband is first, because we are a team. It's better for the kids that way.

I call bull shit on that. Anyone that says this doesn't really mean it.

Husband is first, because we are a team. It's better for the kids that way.

I think it depends on the situation. In some cases kids come first in others spouse. It doesn't have to be black and white.

I expect to be bottom of the totem poll most of the time. That's the way it should be.

I should be #1 every once in a while. As should she.

Well our kid is 8 months old and literally relies on us for her survival so she's the top priority for both of us.

Join in and be a dad buddy. It goes really fast.

Honey, is that you?

I think you should consider yourself lucky you rank at all

Seriously though, you are jealous of your kids!!!!

Do you have a dog? I would put you below the dog. You sound lucky to be #3.

We have two kids 10 and 8 and they are #1 in my wife's eyes. I'm a firm #3 and don't really like it.

Are your kids or your spouse your top priority?