Yes, well tough.

I went through something similar but it was with my brothers girlfriend. They met in high school and were together for 12 years. She was part of our family. She wasn't close to her family so she was with us for every holiday or celebration. We were all local so saw each other frequently. She was my sister. But they broke up when they were in their late twenties. Right after I got engaged. I was heartbroken after my brother asked me to not invite her to my wedding. It's been 10 years. I'm over it, it's like any other relationship it needs to be mourned. Both my brother and his ex are married and happy and I think of my memories of her fondly, but she is no longer part of my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny ... when my college boyfriend broke up with me I was sobbing, "I'm never going to see your mom again".

Anyway, his mom called me and said I was wonderful, and beautiful on the inside and out and she was blessed to have had me in her life for this period of her life. She was sorry about the breakup but I was going to have an amazing life.

It was literally the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. She was awesome. I still miss her 30 years later. Kidding, not kidding.

Aww that is so sweet! I love this

I don't I think it crosses major boundaries.

Anonymous wrote:Funny ... when my college boyfriend broke up with me I was sobbing, "I'm never going to see your mom again".

Anyway, his mom called me and said I was wonderful, and beautiful on the inside and out and she was blessed to have had me in her life for this period of her life. She was sorry about the breakup but I was going to have an amazing life.

It was literally the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. She was awesome. I still miss her 30 years later. Kidding, not kidding.

Wow, that IS really beautiful. ::Filing that away in the brain bank::

I just about cried when my daughter broke up with her boyfriend she had been dating for a few years. I felt like I was losing a son. I thought he was everything you'd want a SIL to be. She said the reason she broke up with him was that he seemed to be drifting and lacked her level of ambition. Twenty years later he is incredibly successful and my daughter ended up marrying a guy who lacks ambition and is at best an average husband and father. I never mention her ex to her but she must think about it.

My exBFs mother contacted me to give me a present months after the breakup. She hated the new older, drug using girlfriend

Anonymous wrote:Funny ... when my college boyfriend broke up with me I was sobbing, "I'm never going to see your mom again".

Anyway, his mom called me and said I was wonderful, and beautiful on the inside and out and she was blessed to have had me in her life for this period of her life. She was sorry about the breakup but I was going to have an amazing life.

It was literally the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. She was awesome. I still miss her 30 years later. Kidding, not kidding.

Aww that is so sweet! I love this

Anonymous wrote:Hax is wrong. The son said no and that should be reason enough not to contact the ex. He also said it would make things worse; he likely dumped the girlfriend and any contact would give her hope and she wouldn't leave him alone.

This is my feeling. The mom has no idea what went on in the relationship.

Hax is wrong. The son said no and that should be reason enough not to contact the ex. He also said it would make things worse; he likely dumped the girlfriend and any contact would give her hope and she wouldn't leave him alone.

Funny ... when my college boyfriend broke up with me I was sobbing, "I'm never going to see your mom again".

Anyway, his mom called me and said I was wonderful, and beautiful on the inside and out and she was blessed to have had me in her life for this period of her life. She was sorry about the breakup but I was going to have an amazing life.

It was literally the nicest thing anybody has ever said to me. She was awesome. I still miss her 30 years later. Kidding, not kidding.

This is why you shouldn't tell your mom about your relationships.

I think the mom needs to mourn this quickly and privately (without involving the son) and MOVE ON.

My guess is she needs more of a life - job, volunteering, friends, whatever to get distracted.

She should not bring the ex up with or around the son. This was HIS relationship. She's being nuts.

Friend her on FB to stay in touch.

Title of a Carolyn Hax article here

http://www.mercurynews.com/2017/08/25/heartbroken-over-sons-breakup/

Basic idea is mom misses her son's ex that he was with for 5 years. Everyone loved the girl and thought they would get married. Mom is close to her misses, her and asked her son if it would be okay to reach out to her and let her know there are no hard feelings. Her son asked her not to do this because it would make things works. No grandchildren involved or anything like that.

Hax's advice is basically to leave it alone for now but try again in the future.


Thoughts?