Some of the responses to the OP are disgraceful. Not only are they rude, they are stupid.

It is not malpractice for your lawyer to respond within a day just because you'd prefer hours.

No, it is not. It could be malpractice if the client is required to return to court on a matter that competent counsel could have advised them on and dealt with in a timely fashison. Note the OP is not sure that the order is enforceable. Competent counsel would have advised the client (the OP) if the order were enforceable and what the OP's options were regarding the order. And would have done so well advance of a court date.

Find a new lawyer and don't cheat on your spouse.

I hope you spend more time thinking about providing legal advice than you do posting statements like this one. All the OP said was that adultery is an issue in an "indirect way" in the case and nothing else. That statement alone does not mean that the OP cheated on the spouse. If the thrust of your family law legal advice is "do not cheat on your spouse" then you should not expect anyone to pay any bill you send them.

The OP's complain was related to the exact problem you just demonstrated. OP is paying for legal representation, not for some moron to offer their opinion on what happened during the marriage.

If you cannot separate your responsibility to defend your client from your judgements about the acts related to the issue they engaged you to help them with, then you have no business practicing law.

Jesus, you're an attorney and you're coming here asking for opinions????
Put on your big boy pants and do what needs to be done. If that means firing your attorney, so be it. If it just means giving him/her a wake up call then do that.

Anonymous wrote:Find a new lawyer and don't cheat on your spouse.

Let me know where to send the invoice.

And don't block your kids from having Dad 50/50 as you are angry at him when you had the affair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not malpractice for your lawyer to respond within a day just because you'd prefer hours. It's also not malpractice for your attorney to be less of a shark than you'd prefer. If you wanted a shark you should have hired a shark. I am also an attorney and prefer to hire mediator types because the sharks usually shoot themselves in the foot with opposing counsel within hours and the whole thing gets drawn out and more $$$ but you do you. Your style and hers obviously don't meld well.

If she responded to you with you saying "I want X now!" and she was like "well given that Affair is against you it's time to let that go, judge won't go for it" or whatever, she is just giving you the straight stuff, not being insulting. I doubt she is doing it to be judgy, just realistic. Family law attorneys deal with affairs every day, yours is not important to her. They have real fish to deal with, like child abuse allegations/dom violence, etc. Nobody cares who you slept with but your soon to be ex.

I must have missed where OP was asking if this was malpractice. Can you point it out? Wait! She didn't it!

Read her last sentence in the original post.

Anonymous wrote:It is not malpractice for your lawyer to respond within a day just because you'd prefer hours. It's also not malpractice for your attorney to be less of a shark than you'd prefer. If you wanted a shark you should have hired a shark. I am also an attorney and prefer to hire mediator types because the sharks usually shoot themselves in the foot with opposing counsel within hours and the whole thing gets drawn out and more $$$ but you do you. Your style and hers obviously don't meld well.

If she responded to you with you saying "I want X now!" and she was like "well given that Affair is against you it's time to let that go, judge won't go for it" or whatever, she is just giving you the straight stuff, not being insulting. I doubt she is doing it to be judgy, just realistic. Family law attorneys deal with affairs every day, yours is not important to her. They have real fish to deal with, like child abuse allegations/dom violence, etc. Nobody cares who you slept with but your soon to be ex.

I must have missed where OP was asking if this was malpractice. Can you point it out? Wait! She didn't it!

OH, and by the way if there is a court order you "don't consider enforceable" and you are therefore ignoring it, be prepared to 1. be drug back into court, of course and 2. for your attorney to be annoyed with you for ignoring it. Anyone would think you are a douche and hope you fired them so they don't have to deal with you any more. Finally, 3. be ready for the judge to not be impressed at all with your attempt to decide which of his or her court orders to follow, with resulting negative implications to your case.

It is not malpractice for your lawyer to respond within a day just because you'd prefer hours. It's also not malpractice for your attorney to be less of a shark than you'd prefer. If you wanted a shark you should have hired a shark. I am also an attorney and prefer to hire mediator types because the sharks usually shoot themselves in the foot with opposing counsel within hours and the whole thing gets drawn out and more $$$ but you do you. Your style and hers obviously don't meld well.

If she responded to you with you saying "I want X now!" and she was like "well given that Affair is against you it's time to let that go, judge won't go for it" or whatever, she is just giving you the straight stuff, not being insulting. I doubt she is doing it to be judgy, just realistic. Family law attorneys deal with affairs every day, yours is not important to her. They have real fish to deal with, like child abuse allegations/dom violence, etc. Nobody cares who you slept with but your soon to be ex.

Find a new lawyer and don't cheat on your spouse.

Let me know where to send the invoice.

In an indirect way it is an issue, and your point is taken. However, it was not in the context of counsel, or risk analysis, or otherwise reflecting advice; it was in some off-hand email messages there were sort of jabs because she was frustrated with me.

Then you are correct, OP. Her only concern is protect your interests with the full extent of her legal expertise. Any comments regarding the facts of the case that are other than of a legal nature are very unprofessional.

Her job is to protect and advocate for you; it is in the poor taste for her to judge anyone's actions.

My firm handles white collar crime and every now and then I will here a young lawyer joke/complain (in private, thank God) that "Client A would not be bitching about this finding if they had not (insert crime: mishandled funds, committed fraud, etc.)" My point when I hear this is that if they were not accused of their crime they would not need you to defend them and you would be defaulting on your student loans right now instead of making the obscene money we pay you. #bitternessoveryounglawyerpay.

Please give your lawyer a wake up call. Spell out your need for results (including prompt answers to your questions) and ask if they are able to provide what you need. If not, please move on.

If you do not think you can win at court find a compromise and be done with it.

Anonymous wrote:

I also felt a couple jabs of her morality coming into play in communications with me and I have this feeling that she was not a fighter per se so much as a hand holder, which is not at all what is needed here

.

In reading between the lines my bet is that adultery is an issue in the divorce. It was in mine and my attorney pointed out that this fact made my position weaker since my XW could drag quite a bit into court I did not want to discuss. Could this have been the issue here?

Given that, responsiveness is a hallmark of good client service, even if the timely reponse is to give you bad news.

In an indirect way it is an issue, and your point is taken. However, it was not in the context of counsel, or risk analysis, or otherwise reflecting advice; it was in some off-hand email messages there were sort of jabs because she was frustrated with me.

I also felt a couple jabs of her morality coming into play in communications with me and I have this feeling that she was not a fighter per se so much as a hand holder, which is not at all what is needed here

.

In reading between the lines my bet is that adultery is an issue in the divorce. It was in mine and my attorney pointed out that this fact made my position weaker since my XW could drag quite a bit into court I did not want to discuss. Could this have been the issue here?

Given that, responsiveness is a hallmark of good client service, even if the timely reponse is to give you bad news.

If you're not happy, look for another one. After interviewing a few others you may find yourself going back to your current one but what you're going through is too important (and costly) to be unhappy with your representation - for whatever reason! Just like with a therapist or stylist, if you don't gel, it's okay to move on.

You can pay for a second opinion. I did that and ended up switching attorneys about 1/2 way through the process. Oddly, so did my ex.

I am in the midst of an extended and drawn out divorce, which is objectively probably of moderate grade intensity. It is made complicated by some factors I don't need to get into, but which are time sensitive. I'm extra sensitive to my counsel's performance because I am a lawyer myself and I try extremely hard to be responsive to my clients. (I also understand that this may make me a difficult client. I do try to be self-aware.)

I was working with the associate of a respected and accomplished partner. I repeatedly felt that she gave away too much information to opposing counsel. I also felt a couple jabs of her morality coming into play in communications with me and I have this feeling that she was not a fighter per se so much as a hand holder, which is not at all what is needed here. I have tried without being completely insulting to make it clear I prefer to deal with the partner. He is, however, extremely busy. Opposing counsel is unfortunately one of those family law attorneys whose MO is to attack unceasingly, while mine is philosophically a lot more even-keeled and who lets opposing counsel throw the punches without reacting too much.

I am now at risk of having opposing counsel drag me back into court to fight over an order that I don't think is enforceable. However, I cannot get the time of day from my lawyer to figure out how to respond. E.g., he sends a brief email, I ask questions within hours; a day passes; rinse and repeat. Very few opportunities for calls.

Any advice? Is this par for the course? Do I live with it or find new counsel? I'm so close to the end but this is really driving me crazy and I feel like it's on the verge of malpractice.