OP: Some boundaries are needed. Grandma, your birthday is on Tuesday. Can we stop by this weekend or next? And, BTW, DH should have the conversation with his mother, not you.

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Did you get married on your MIL's birthday? Cause if not here's how it goes. On the date of your anniversary, you celebrate with your husband. On the date of your MIL's birthday, she/her family (which includes you) celebrates her birhday however you all celebrate birthdays.

See, not that hard! I'm not sure what one occasion has to do with the other, unless they are the exact same date.

This. You claim to be low maintenance, yet you want more than one day to be all about you.

So which is it? You're low key and dont mind dinner and a movie Friday night to celebrate your anniversary? And then Sunday get togrther with MIL for her bday?

Or are you fake low key and actually want the weekend to be about you and DH completely (which is ok)?

I'm confused. Did you get married on your MIL's birthday? Cause if not here's how it goes. On the date of your anniversary, you celebrate with your husband. On the date of your MIL's birthday, she/her family (which includes you) celebrates her birhday however you all celebrate birthdays.

See, not that hard! I'm not sure what one occasion has to do with the other, unless they are the exact same date.

Where is DH on all this?

The problem is the people involved (namely OP and MIL) not the proximity of the occasions.

We have a lot less family drama in our family but have loads of events near each other and don't have a problem. Most of the time it's a good thing. We don't tend to forget the things clustered together but sometimes do forget one of the isolated.

OP here...
I'm totally not spoiled and in fact small celebrations like dinner or movie will make me more than happy.
MIL is a drama queen and it's always about her, even mother's day. She will not acknowledge that I am a mother too and want to spend a special day for myself with my children. She is forever the center of the attention. Also, my DH and I are few days apart so we usually celebrate our birthdays together.
Perhaps, throughout the year I just feel like there isn't a day I feel it's special for me

Send her a gift and call it a day. I don't see how her birthday impacts your anniversary. Anniversaries are a big deal and grown adult's birthdays are not.

Does a grown woman expect a birthday party every year?

No one but you and DH care about your anniversary.

No one but MIL cares about her bday.

Life events happen.

Her MIL could be as awful as mine is, but we don't know that.

Give us more info, OP. Until then, everyone else is right.

How do you figure? Our anniversary is 3 days from MIL's birthday. We've never had any problems.

Either MIL makes to much of a deal about her birthday, or you/DH do, or both.

Either you and DH make too big of a deal about your anniversary, or she does, or both.

Stop acting like Queen for a Day/stop treating her like Queen for a Day, and this non-problem will be solved.

I can't stand grown-ass adults who act like their birthday or anniversary is a big freaking deal. It's not. Milestone birthdays are one thing, but if you are turning 43, have a cupcake and get over yourself. Same deal with anniversaries: 25 or 50 years is momentus, 7 years is not. Go out to dinner and watch as the world keeps turning.

What a weird, weird post.

Really, the worst thing ever? What a charmed life you must live.

Bad idea!
We are now at our 7th year and it's the worst thing ever!
Now looking back I had wish we got married earlier or later...