OP, I've observed a similar situation. The former husband immediately found a new woman. Although she is prettier than his ex, and has a career (his ex was a SAHM/MLM cultist), she is a single mom of three and not younger. The former wife is attractive and has managed to support herself post-divorce, and does not have primary custody - all things that should be "pluses" in dating. She has had nothing but a string of failed relationships.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, and particularly men who are used to being in a long term relationship (esp. one where they weren't the one to initiate the split), tend to be kind of helpless post-breakup. They don't like being alone, and will be quick to jump into something with someone new. Women who have gone through a divorce are more cognizant of the (perceived, or real) mistakes and shortcomings in their prior partner / relationship, and tend to be a little more discriminate when looking for their next partner.

I have seen this time and again with people who divorce in their 40s and 50s...the men tend to jump into their next relationship and generally end up remarried within a few years, while the women have ZERO intention of ever mrryinf again.

Haw. Nice job of rationalizing it in terms of what you want to be true.

The fact is, older men who divorce get remarried because they are still attractive enough to find a new partner.

Older women who divorce, especially if they have kids, not so much. ("I'm not old and wrinkled, I'm just really really discriminating! I have zero intention of remarrying, and the fact that nobody's even asking me to has nothing to do with that, honest!")

What? No not at all, I have no horse in this race. Older women date around or will even have a long term boyfriend, but tend to have a "hell no" attitude towards marrying again. They are tired of the role of thankless caretaker and are siked about the idea of doing their own thing / making their own decisions / etc. Men tend to be more codependent, and jump into their next relationships - they don't like being alone. I'm 30, this isn't about me or the narrative I want - it's from firsthand observation of the round of my parents' friends / family friends who went through this at that age

Wait a minute. She has 2 kids and is divorcing because her husband can't afford for her to SAH? Does she think having 2 households is going to make the money issues better? Wow, just wow.

I thought this too-cutting off your nose to spite your face. But in this case, there are also children involved. I think its incredibly selfish to divorce because your spouse doesn't make enough money *for your expensive tastes* but otherwise things are good when you have kids. a woman in her 30s with 2 kids and no career and who doesn't want to work but wants a rich guy to support her? well, good luck.

Your friend who likes to spend but doesn't want to work isn't sounding like a prize to me.

Anonymous wrote:Men, and particularly men who are used to being in a long term relationship (esp. one where they weren't the one to initiate the split), tend to be kind of helpless post-breakup. They don't like being alone, and will be quick to jump into something with someone new. Women who have gone through a divorce are more cognizant of the (perceived, or real) mistakes and shortcomings in their prior partner / relationship, and tend to be a little more discriminate when looking for their next partner.

I have seen this time and again with people who divorce in their 40s and 50s...the men tend to jump into their next relationship and generally end up remarried within a few years, while the women have ZERO intention of ever mrryinf again.

Haw. Nice job of rationalizing it in terms of what you want to be true.

The fact is, older men who divorce get remarried because they are still attractive enough to find a new partner.

Older women who divorce, especially if they have kids, not so much. ("I'm not old and wrinkled, I'm just really really discriminating! I have zero intention of remarrying, and the fact that nobody's even asking me to has nothing to do with that, honest!")

Men, and particularly men who are used to being in a long term relationship (esp. one where they weren't the one to initiate the split), tend to be kind of helpless post-breakup. They don't like being alone, and will be quick to jump into something with someone new. Women who have gone through a divorce are more cognizant of the (perceived, or real) mistakes and shortcomings in their prior partner / relationship, and tend to be a little more discriminate when looking for their next partner.

I have seen this time and again with people who divorce in their 40s and 50s...the men tend to jump into their next relationship and generally end up remarried within a few years, while the women have ZERO intention of ever mrryinf again.

Not the norm, but depends on why people are divorcing.

I divorced in my 30s with two kids, different reasons. I ended up meeting "the one" and he's also divorced with two kids, we've blended families. Not always perfect but it's wonderful. I wasn't necessarily looking for "the one" but dated, had fun, and found someone amazing.

Ex-DH had wanted to stay married (I ended it). But he quickly decided he wanted to remarry. He tried a few insta-relationships, none has stuck. Basically the women were excited at first and then as his issues became clear, backed away. He makes very good money and is handsome.

Get ready for someone to say "men don't want women with baggage" and then others to scream "how dare you refer to children as baggage!"

Anonymous wrote:She can find someone else but will have to relax her standards. An older guy with money who doesn't want any more kids would be perfect for someone who doesn't want to work.

An older guy who has kids and has raised them is not likely to want to spend time financing a wife with little kids.

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. She has 2 kids and is divorcing because her husband can't afford for her to SAH? Does she think having 2 households is going to make the money issues better? Wow, just wow.

Yeah . I thought the same thing.

Your friend sounds immature, that's probably what's turning men off more than being, 30 , divorced and with kids.

Wait a minute. She has 2 kids and is divorcing because her husband can't afford for her to SAH? Does she think having 2 households is going to make the money issues better? Wow, just wow.

I've known women who have found someone: they are typically substantially older men.

She can find someone else but will have to relax her standards. An older guy with money who doesn't want any more kids would be perfect for someone who doesn't want to work.

In my experience, it's very typical that after divorce the man moves on to someone younger and prettier. I think women who think they're "teaching" the guy a lesson by divorcing him and that he's going to pine over them forever are typically in for a rude awakening.

One of my good friends is getting divorced. It's basically amicable, they're just very different people and want different things. A lot of it stemmed from money issues (she's a spender, he's a saver, she wanted to be a SAHM, he wasn't making enough to support the lifestyle she wanted, etc. etc. The point is, no cheating or anything like that).

Anyway, we just found out that he's already got a fairly serious girlfriend who he just introduced to his family. The new gf is really pretty, younger, has a graduate degree, and a better job than he does. I heard through the grapevine (friend of a friend) that she doesn't want kids. My friend is also dating but nothing serious. She did meet one guy she really liked but he wasn't looking for a commitment. She's upset and I didn't know what to say. It reminded me of that SATC episode though where Miranda and Steve broke up, he's homeless and living on her couch, and already has girls lining up for him.

I knew this was a stereotype but not a real thing. Can anyone tell her/us that it gets better? Did you meet "the one" with two kids in your thirties?