Cliques get worse in 5th. As a PP mentioned, it includes the parents too. No matter what the school says about breaking cliques, there is only so much they can do. They try to mix up the kids at lunch but even that is hard.

Anonymous wrote:Mean girls do not start in 4th-5th grade. I've seen it in 2nd grade at DD's school. There is a ton of social engineering on the part of parents too. Exclusion starts on the playground and is reinforced by birthday parties, playdates, etc. Name calling, teasing, bullying--all happening in 2nd grade.

+1 I thought the 4th-5th grade PP was a bit off. My DD first dealt with it in 1st.

Mean girls do not start in 4th-5th grade. I've seen it in 2nd grade at DD's school. There is a ton of social engineering on the part of parents too. Exclusion starts on the playground and is reinforced by birthday parties, playdates, etc. Name calling, teasing, bullying--all happening in 2nd grade.

I think the moms are cliquey too so they make sure their children mostly hang out with the children of just their friends, It is sad. I noticed this in our preschool. We switched.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Cliques start for girls around 2nd grade and the mean girl thing starts by 4th-5th.

-mom of boys who sees it happen over and over.

How about for boys? Wondering the same thing for my shy DS starting 1st.

Boys are much more welcoming than girls in elementary until around fifth grade when the jocks REALLY start to separate.

Boys seem to hang out with anyone who is interested in whatever they are playing at the time. I see that start to change when the more athletic kids start to hit their growth spurts and start looking older. Then they seem to push out the kids who are not athletic or who still look like little kids.

Boys are a lot simpler than girls when it comes to friend groups.

I know the OP was asking about girls, but I have noticed this same trend with boys!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Cliques start for girls around 2nd grade and the mean girl thing starts by 4th-5th.

-mom of boys who sees it happen over and over.

And the boys are welcoming of every outsider, right? I hate "mean girl" nonsense. ALL kids can be little jerks. Boys too.

You have toddlers I suppose?

Boys do not do the mean girl thing.

They bully differently. It tends to occur around sports and not until closer to puberty.

Girls will close ranks and isolate other girls from a very young age, starting in elementary. It gets worse when there is the trifecta of mean girls, or when the moms are cliquey.

Ask any person with elementary kids, and they will say the same thing. Girls start cliques much earlier than boys in elementary, and start the mean girl thing very early too. Boys start this kind of thing much later, and when they do (upper elementaty) it tends to be more classic, obvious bullying than the girls do. Mean girl stuff is more nuanced, and becauseof this the queen bee and girl bullies can remain tye teachers' darling with adult after adults saying "I can't believe Larla would do such a thing."

I mean sort of - my son tends to be friends with quieter, more academic boys (he's in 4th grade) and my daughter tends to be friends with other girls that play sports. But it seems like more of a common interest thing than a clique.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Cliques start for girls around 2nd grade and the mean girl thing starts by 4th-5th.

-mom of boys who sees it happen over and over.

How about for boys? Wondering the same thing for my shy DS starting 1st.

Boys are much more welcoming than girls in elementary until around fifth grade when the jocks REALLY start to separate.

Boys seem to hang out with anyone who is interested in whatever they are playing at the time. I see that start to change when the more athletic kids start to hit their growth spurts and start looking older. Then they seem to push out the kids who are not athletic or who still look like little kids.

Boys are a lot simpler than girls when it comes to friend groups.

I think being friends or becoming friends with some of the moms might help to initiate playdates. I know that is how some of the children became better friends in our school. I am not saying cliques were formed.

Yep, in both public and private schools .

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Cliques start for girls around 2nd grade and the mean girl thing starts by 4th-5th.

-mom of boys who sees it happen over and over.

And the boys are welcoming of every outsider, right? I hate "mean girl" nonsense. ALL kids can be little jerks. Boys too.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Cliques start for girls around 2nd grade and the mean girl thing starts by 4th-5th.

-mom of boys who sees it happen over and over.

How about for boys? Wondering the same thing for my shy DS starting 1st.

Yes they do. Depends on the school and how well the school works to integrate all of the kids into the class. Good luck

Yes. Cliques start for girls around 2nd grade and the mean girl thing starts by 4th-5th.

-mom of boys who sees it happen over and over.

Our DD will be starting at a new school this fall and I was wondering do cliques form in Elementary school or that is just a MS thing? Not sure how to handle this since our DD is a shy sweet girl who isn't aggresive in making friends