Did he lead a pretty charmed life before the setbacks? I feel like my husband and I are pretty blessed to have faced enough challenges over the years that we don't get derailed easily. I see friends who lead pretty charmed lives absolutely fall apart and go into depression and even in 2 cases need inpatient treatment (one for depression, 1 for alcohol) when suddenly not just 1, but several challenges hit at once.

That said, my son is now starting to clash with our tween son and it can bring him down. They are either best friends or in a power struggle. I have helped him see the humor and have told him about what is normal. My daughter and I definitely can have a similar relationship. His father was no longer in his life at this stage in his childhood, so he was taking things way too personally with our testosterone raging son who still worships the grounds he walks on and who finds DH way cooler than he will ever find me!

Anonymous wrote:Is this perimenopause? Andropause (him, he has a bleak outloook lately due to a few setbacks in life, understandably so. But cant seem to snap out of it). We adore our teens but they can raise conflict too (parenting styles). Anyways trying to keep the calm here in the family, any tips? I am bossy as well.

If it is depression, he can't "snap out of it". It is time for him to go to the doctor. How old are you and how old is he?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He might be low on testosterone. Testosterone cream helps DH a lot.

Where can I get it? Is it by prescription?

-not op

Yes, ask your primary care physician.

Anonymous wrote:Would appreciate any tips. He has started exercising.

This sounds hopeful.
Don't worry OP. This too shall pass.

Would appreciate any tips. He has started exercising.

Ps he has been on the blue side for years after business loss etc. Glass half empty etc.

I'd be so sad if he died. I am trying to be less bossy. He has lost a number of people unexpectedly to death/cancer so is understandably upset. But at an impasse in that he just sits there and zones out. I suggested a therapist but he won't go unless I force issue etc. kind of just shuts out the world.

It sounds like YOU are the problem OP. You're bossy and probably don't let DH have a voice and tear apart his opinions if they differ from yours. He also sounds depressed and you.seem annoyed by it rather than trying to help.

Maybe you'll be lucky and he'll die soon.

IOW, spend a little while thinking about that. And I mean *really* thinking about that. Not just "thank God, I get some peace." Would you miss him? What would it mean to lose him?

A little perspective might help, either to realize what he means to you, or what he doesn't.

Mine, too. EVERYTHING. I assume it is me, not him though.

Anonymous wrote:He might be low on testosterone. Testosterone cream helps DH a lot.

Where can I get it? Is it by prescription?

-not op

He might be low on testosterone. Testosterone cream helps DH a lot.

I said I was sorry dear...

- your DH

It sounds like depression.

Is this perimenopause? Andropause (him, he has a bleak outloook lately due to a few setbacks in life, understandably so. But cant seem to snap out of it). We adore our teens but they can raise conflict too (parenting styles). Anyways trying to keep the calm here in the family, any tips? I am bossy as well.