Anonymous wrote:OP, hugs. I don't have much advice for getting through this. My parents picked their dogs over me (I posted about it in the family relationship forum in November). It hurts, but I won't allow their dogs in my home for plenty of good reasons. That apparently makes me the bad guy. It sucks.

This is OP! It does! We need to form a club. We can't be the only ones

Anonymous wrote:What kind of dog is it? A small lap dog or a gigantic German Shepard? It gives context.

A 20 pound terrier. Large enough to have knocked down people and bitten them before.

What kind of dog is it? A small lap dog or a gigantic German Shepard? It gives context.

OP, hugs. I don't have much advice for getting through this. My parents picked their dogs over me (I posted about it in the family relationship forum in November). It hurts, but I won't allow their dogs in my home for plenty of good reasons. That apparently makes me the bad guy. It sucks.

Thanks all. Talked to my aunt who lives in their area. While she's known the dog a long time, she said for sure my 91 aunt and cousin are at risk, and will not be able to 'make friends with the dog' or 'ignore the dog', which is what my mother lulled them into believing. I warned my cousin. That's all I can do.

I'm so sorry OP; dealing with aging parents is very hard. You have to stay safe!

Yes, you are quite sane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep. This sounds like a mess. I'm sorry. Stay safe.

+1000

This x 1,000,000

I would call animal control now. Tell them that the dog has bitten before and now there is an elderly man at risk in the home. Try and do it anonymously so you don't get the backlash. Even if the dog is not removed from the first call it will help lay the groundwork for removal.

Anonymous wrote:Yep. This sounds like a mess. I'm sorry. Stay safe.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:Yep. This sounds like a mess. I'm sorry. Stay safe.

Thank you. I really needed to hear from sane people.

Anonymous wrote:
Is your father at home? If not, please do NOT go there (your kids as well). This is a serious accident waiting to happen, because your idiotic family doesn't realize what a danger this is.

If the dog bites someone in your presence, call animal control on your mother. The dog needs to be taken away.

My father is home. And thank you for confirming my thoughts. I am actually sitting here crying because my family is telling me that it's my fault.

Sorry, just read your father is home. Drat. You must require that the dog be muzzled and shut into the bedroom before you set foot in the house. Call from your car to make sure when you arrive.

Yep. This sounds like a mess. I'm sorry. Stay safe.

Is your father at home? If not, please do NOT go there (your kids as well). This is a serious accident waiting to happen, because your idiotic family doesn't realize what a danger this is.

If the dog bites someone in your presence, call animal control on your mother. The dog needs to be taken away.

More of a vent than asking for advice. Please bear with me as I need to get this out.

Dog has bitten three people unprovoked. Last time he got away from my sister at the clubhouse, ran across the lawn of the clubhouse (they live in a retirement community in another state) and knocked down an old man who was walking out the door and bit him. My parents and sister say 'he only nipped - it was shallow' as if it doesn't matter. It was completely unprovoked.

My father had a stroke last year and is going downhill. I am leaving early August to go visit for 10 days. When I was there last year, I spent most of the time in the rehab place and hospital. When they went home, visiting them at home was insane! My mother was blaming me for the dog lunging and barking at me, resentful that she had to put him behind a gate in their massive bedroom. When the dog got out, moving about the house was impossible - he would try to attack. At one point, they actually let him get on the couch behind me inches from my face - and made fun of me when I asked them to get him down - as he was growling at me. Needless to say, even though they say they will help control the dog when I'm there, I have no faith. I'm only going because my father has had two bad episodes in the past few weeks, and I'm not sure how much time he has left. My two oldest kids (22 and 20) are coming for part of the time, and I'm not comfortable letting them go in the house. He WILL attack my son as he hates men, and I don't really trust my mother or sister to control it - physically or otherwise. My son says he will not go in the house until the dog is muzzled. I'm not sure I want him to even take that risk.

The kicker is everyone is blaming me for 'being afraid of the dog'. We have two dogs of our own and I'm not scared of dogs, but clearly am nervous around dogs that bite and are threatening. I think that's pretty freaking NORMAL. Ignoring a snarling snapping dog is not my idea of a safe encounter either, as in "just ignore him and he won't hurt you." Well the three people he bit didn't even know he was there - he went after them unprovoked. I've heard the 'we promise to control him' crap before. It lasts until they feel bad for the dog. I even had a trainer in last year, who said he could not believe how unaware they were about the dog's bad behavior - even though the dog was snapping and lunging at him, he had to ask my sister to back up with the dog (he was on a leash) - she was actually walking the dog toward him within biting range.

I paid more for a hotel that allows me to bail early. Ditto with a rental car. I also deliberately booked first class home so I can change my ticket if necessary. I've decided that if my folks and sister do not control the dog first day, I will go home on day two and never go back. I will call and FaceTime, but I won't put myself or my family at risk. My brother already made that decision last year after the dog went after him. What's interesting is my cousin is taking my father's 91 year old sister to visit them next week, and my mother has my cousin convinced 'if they just ignore the dog, he won't bother them'. Could get ugly.

My father is a bit too weak after this last hospitalization to take out of the house to the hotel. He doesn't really like to leave the house much anymore. Hopefully my sister rises up and takes the dog out of the house, puts him in another room or muzzles him.

Thanks for letting me vent.