Anonymous wrote:When DW has a couple drinks she can get really in the mood and the sex is great, the rest of the time I think she does it to keep me happy.
I am tall in great shape with abs and muscles make good enough money so she can SAH. Plus I do things around the house and with our DC all the time.
Its not "alpha" I just do believe that many women, not all, do become uninterested in sex with their husbands. I have had lots of friends wives flirt with me, while their husbands complain about lack of sex

Man here in exact same boat. I read a lot about this, trying to "solve" my wife's low libido only to realize her libido isn't low, it's normal. It's normal for women in long term relationships to only want sex occasionally and when conditions are right - she is relaxed, no kids bothering her, hotel rooms, vacation. It's also normal for her to have responsive desire meaning she needs something to turn her on - she isn't going to walk around aroused all day like most men do, ready to have sex at the mention of "yes." Op hasn't changed, he just doesn't light her fire the same way after all these years, but Brad Pitt wouldn't either if he was married to OP's wife for years and they had kids together.

There is a reason prostitition is the world's oldest profession. Men want sex more than women, on average.

Solutions for you OP: get or stay in great shape. Flirt a lot. When your wife offers her body to you, go to town, don't be gentle and worry about every move, she will respond to your arousal and if she doesn't because she can't get in the mood, accept her offer of sex as an act of love. If (when) you have your affair, do it with a married woman with equal to lose. I speak from experience on the last one.

When DW has a couple drinks she can get really in the mood and the sex is great, the rest of the time I think she does it to keep me happy.
I am tall in great shape with abs and muscles make good enough money so she can SAH. Plus I do things around the house and with our DC all the time.
Its not "alpha" I just do believe that many women, not all, do become uninterested in sex with their husbands. I have had lots of friends wives flirt with me, while their husbands complain about lack of sex

Simple solution to the romantic life problem OP...
Keep your wife's glass full.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep saying that women don't want sex as much as men? I read this over and over on this forum, and wonder what is wrong with you people. I'm a woman, and I've always enjoyed sex as much as my husband, and have been the instigator many times. My suggestion is that you get a babysitter, take her out driving on some back roads where she HAS to talk to you, and find out what is wrong. My husband and I have some of our best talks while we're out driving, with no destination in mind. At some point, add some music that touches both of you. Just hold hands and listen. It doesn't hurt to try.

Because it is true. Women do not like or need sex. If the human race depended on women's sex drive we would go extinct. Women are inherently not sexually.

Not true for this high drive woman! I'm late forties and it hasn't slowed down. I have a wonderful DH who is the perfect balance between being loving and kind, but still masculine and strong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep saying that women don't want sex as much as men? I read this over and over on this forum, and wonder what is wrong with you people. I'm a woman, and I've always enjoyed sex as much as my husband, and have been the instigator many times. My suggestion is that you get a babysitter, take her out driving on some back roads where she HAS to talk to you, and find out what is wrong. My husband and I have some of our best talks while we're out driving, with no destination in mind. At some point, add some music that touches both of you. Just hold hands and listen. It doesn't hurt to try.

Because it is true. Women do not like or need sex. If the human race depended on women's sex drive we would go extinct. Women are inherently not sexually.

No, not true. The problem is that many women who are perceived to have lost interest in sex have actually lost interest in having sex WITH THEIR HUSBAND. In general, men need sex to feel connected, whereas women need to feel connected to have sex. No, this theory isn't undercut by women who have ONS or FWB. It's that the guy she's having a ONS with or a FWB relationship hasn't done anything to piss her off yet. DHs who complain of lack of sex should stop blaming their wives and look at how they can contribute to fixing the relationship. Why else would women have affairs?

Anonymous wrote:Why do people keep saying that women don't want sex as much as men? I read this over and over on this forum, and wonder what is wrong with you people. I'm a woman, and I've always enjoyed sex as much as my husband, and have been the instigator many times. My suggestion is that you get a babysitter, take her out driving on some back roads where she HAS to talk to you, and find out what is wrong. My husband and I have some of our best talks while we're out driving, with no destination in mind. At some point, add some music that touches both of you. Just hold hands and listen. It doesn't hurt to try.

Because it is true. Women do not like or need sex. If the human race depended on women's sex drive we would go extinct. Women are inherently not sexually.

Why do people keep saying that women don't want sex as much as men? I read this over and over on this forum, and wonder what is wrong with you people. I'm a woman, and I've always enjoyed sex as much as my husband, and have been the instigator many times. My suggestion is that you get a babysitter, take her out driving on some back roads where she HAS to talk to you, and find out what is wrong. My husband and I have some of our best talks while we're out driving, with no destination in mind. At some point, add some music that touches both of you. Just hold hands and listen. It doesn't hurt to try.

Anonymous wrote:[img]Sex only 2 maybe 3 time a month. DW doesn't like to kiss and I've giving up trying to initiate sex. Have two young kids 9 and 7 and I'm the bather, cook and activity scheduler. She's now make more money but I put career on hold because work and kids is too over whelming. Desperately want the kids to have a family unit.

.

It sounds to me like you have fallen into a rut of being the great provider for the family but stopped being her idea of a great lover. Don't fall into the trap of doing more and more to save the marriage. It won't work and likely she will have an affair and ditch you. Start prioritizing you and the relationship with your wife. My marriage sounded similar - 10 years, kids and sacrificing career hoping the wife would notice as she climbed ladder. Then came the exit affair.
It's toxic for marriage if she sees you as weak.

Start being an alpha male. Throw her on the bed and go down on her.

Anonymous wrote:She's probably attracted to manly men - guys who make a lot of money, dress well, tell her what to do, and flex their muscles. Not a nice caretaker who does his fair share of the chores whose love and companionship she can take for granted.

It could be this, but then again I am a CEO who makes money, dressed well, is tall and attractive, and I also have not great or passionate sex with my low drive wife 2x a month. Kids same ages.

You,can rack your brain trying to fix this. Or realize many women and some men just aren't that into sex. Read about lesbian bed death, rates that gay men and lesbians have sex and you will learn much of the sex in hetero marriages is women trying to keep the peace.

Have you had your affair yet?

She's probably attracted to manly men - guys who make a lot of money, dress well, tell her what to do, and flex their muscles. Not a nice caretaker who does his fair share of the chores whose love and companionship she can take for granted.

Women just don't think about sex very much. That is your job: think about and initiate sex. Often. With passion.

Why aren't you doing your job?

Do you have halitosis?
When my DH eats anything with garlic he literally stinks for 48 hours and I can barely sleep next to him, let alone kiss him.

You and wife need to prioritize. I think the not kidding thing is telling. I'd rather have sex than kiss DH when we are disconnected.

[img]Sex only 2 maybe 3 time a month. DW doesn't like to kiss and I've giving up trying to initiate sex. Have two young kids 9 and 7 and I'm the bather, cook and activity scheduler. She's now make more money but I put career on hold because work and kids is too over whelming. Desperately want the kids to have a family unit.