Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 21:48     Subject: Re:Move, stay, wait?
You could make good friends and then they get divorced and move away. Find a place you like and can afford: probably further south. Richmond? North Carolina? Florida? Make sure you like the weather, your house, your job and commute. You need to feel at home even if there's no one around. Then, once you're rooted a little, you can branch out and find friends through religious work, your kids' schools, volunteer work, clubs, etc.
But beware: People are transient. Everywhere.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 21:37     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
Anonymous wrote:4 kids are gonna be expensive no matter where you move.

Plus, you never know if you will be able to have that many (I wish you the best, though! and hope you do!). I'd pick a place you'd be happy living with a small family too. Or, do you have crazy expectations? Do you need 4,000 sq ft and a huge yard? If so, maybe adjust those since city living is better than owning a mcmansion. Trust me on that one.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 21:35     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
4 kids are gonna be expensive no matter where you move.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 21:28     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
Anonymous wrote:I'd do it. That said, many of those places are full of locals which makes it hard to break in. Try for a mid-sized city like Dayton, Peoria, or Toledo. The mid west has the best COL ratio and the sizes of those cities allows for some new people to make their own way. We've tried this before and found that even cities like Louisville and Boise were much more expensive and provincial than we would've liked.


I'd go a litter bigger - Pittsburgh, Columbus, hell, even Chicago suburbs are significantly cheaper than here.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 21:27     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:San Diego CA?


Definitely cheaper than DC
'

I hope you're being sarcastic here. San Diego is crazy expensive.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 21:26     Subject: Re:Move, stay, wait?
I'd also note that it's sometimes hard to break into to a social scene in a small city when you're an outsider-- most of the people there have grown up together and at least where I grew up (Cincinnati) it's all about what high school you went to, and if you're not from there, people are skeptical of you. Definitely not a dealbreaker, but something to be aware of.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 21:25     Subject: Re:Move, stay, wait?
Where are your families (parents, siblings, cousins)?
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 20:48     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:San Diego CA?


Definitely cheaper than DC


Former SD resident here. The areas with very good to excellent schools in SD are almost as expensive as the DC area. Those I know who have bought more reasonably priced homes in SD (e.g., 650K) have had to move a lot further out for good schools.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 20:31     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
I'd do it. That said, many of those places are full of locals which makes it hard to break in. Try for a mid-sized city like Dayton, Peoria, or Toledo. The mid west has the best COL ratio and the sizes of those cities allows for some new people to make their own way. We've tried this before and found that even cities like Louisville and Boise were much more expensive and provincial than we would've liked.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 19:39     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
Anonymous wrote:San Diego CA?


Definitely cheaper than DC
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 18:50     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
Anonymous wrote:

We both love it here: the culture and diversity and fun things to do. But we want more children and I think we cannot afford to live here and have 4 kids. I love the idea of a big family more than I love living here, and my husband agrees.

We do not have family here. So many of our friends have moved away; I'm so tired of making friends with people and then they move. In my current group of friends, nearly half are planning to move in the next couple years. Are other areas so transient?

I'd like to "settle down" and buy a forever home and make forever friends, even if that is in Nowhere, USA instead of Washington DC. I would like to move somewhere random, not near either of our families, so that we wouldn't see one family more than another. We are not particularly close to our families anyway.

We've talked about moving before and husband has mentioned that he can get a job in several other places, but it would be a pay cut. But the cost of living would be so low...wouldn't that even out?

Thoughts? Thanks.


Without any real numbers what makes you think the pay cut would even out? The biggest factor tends to be real estate. Without any real numbers you don't know for sure if your real estate costs will go down proportional to your income.
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 16:43     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
San Diego CA?
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 13:59     Subject: Move, stay, wait?
I am not sure what cities are options.

I could work but likely won't, at least until the kids are in school.

What's important:
A less transient area
A decent house in a safe neighborhood
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 13:49     Subject: Re:Move, stay, wait?
What cities are you thinking about? Would you work at all? What things are important to you besides a lower cost of living?
Anonymous
Post 07/14/2017 13:47     Subject: Move, stay, wait?


We both love it here: the culture and diversity and fun things to do. But we want more children and I think we cannot afford to live here and have 4 kids. I love the idea of a big family more than I love living here, and my husband agrees.

We do not have family here. So many of our friends have moved away; I'm so tired of making friends with people and then they move. In my current group of friends, nearly half are planning to move in the next couple years. Are other areas so transient?

I'd like to "settle down" and buy a forever home and make forever friends, even if that is in Nowhere, USA instead of Washington DC. I would like to move somewhere random, not near either of our families, so that we wouldn't see one family more than another. We are not particularly close to our families anyway.

We've talked about moving before and husband has mentioned that he can get a job in several other places, but it would be a pay cut. But the cost of living would be so low...wouldn't that even out?

Thoughts? Thanks.