Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please recommend your Maryland lawyer. We are in our 60's and have 2 kids in their 20's, DH had an affair. We sought counseling but DH decided it was too expensive and not worth the money. I hate the idea of divorce but if it has to come to this then I want to be thoroughly prepared. Funny thing though, DH doesn't really want divorce but doesn't want to live with me. Not sure I can wrap myself around that.

Lots of people do that (separated forever). At the courthouse I saw a divorce where the couple had not lived together since 1976 and were finally getting a divorce.

How do you divvy up the money, property and other resources? Seems really complicated.

Anonymous wrote:Please recommend your Maryland lawyer. We are in our 60's and have 2 kids in their 20's, DH had an affair. We sought counseling but DH decided it was too expensive and not worth the money. I hate the idea of divorce but if it has to come to this then I want to be thoroughly prepared. Funny thing though, DH doesn't really want divorce but doesn't want to live with me. Not sure I can wrap myself around that.

Lots of people do that (separated forever). At the courthouse I saw a divorce where the couple had not lived together since 1976 and were finally getting a divorce.

Please recommend your Maryland lawyer. We are in our 60's and have 2 kids in their 20's, DH had an affair. We sought counseling but DH decided it was too expensive and not worth the money. I hate the idea of divorce but if it has to come to this then I want to be thoroughly prepared. Funny thing though, DH doesn't really want divorce but doesn't want to live with me. Not sure I can wrap myself around that.

Anonymous wrote:NP - How do you negotiate a separation agreement when one party does not want a divorce? Are they mediated by a court? For the one-year separation period - if the other party refuses to leave the house can you move and not lose all claim to the house?

Moving out has absolutely no effect on the ownership of the house. Very worst case--the person (almost always a man) who moves out can be forced to pay the mortgage for as long as three years. Then the house gets sold the the proceeds divided.

Moving out can affect custody which is why you don't move out without a separation agreement which addresses custody.

Having said that I'll never move out of my own house again because of someone else's bad behavior. Next time I will stand my ground consequences be damned.

Anonymous wrote:I'm fairly certain that MD changed this law during the housing crisis a few years ago.

It went from "no cohabitation" to "no intimacy" or something like that.

Check the law. It didn't affect me anyway, I owned the house, and she complied with my wishes for her to leave the premises. So problem solved.

If it hadn't gone that way? Well, I guess I would've need a restraining order or something

The law still requires a one-year separation for couples with kids.

I'm fairly certain that MD changed this law during the housing crisis a few years ago.

It went from "no cohabitation" to "no intimacy" or something like that.

Check the law. It didn't affect me anyway, I owned the house, and she complied with my wishes for her to leave the premises. So problem solved.

If it hadn't gone that way? Well, I guess I would've need a restraining order or something

Anonymous wrote:NP - How do you negotiate a separation agreement when one party does not want a divorce? Are they mediated by a court? For the one-year separation period - if the other party refuses to leave the house can you move and not lose all claim to the house?

I'd like to read other people's experiences with this as well. Given that MD requires a separation period of one year - someone needs to move out of house. And it seems odd then that that person should have his/her custody and/or property rights negatively affected.

NP - How do you negotiate a separation agreement when one party does not want a divorce? Are they mediated by a court? For the one-year separation period - if the other party refuses to leave the house can you move and not lose all claim to the house?

Sure did - covered things like shared household expenses and custody. Eliminated the need for us to argue (hell, to even talk).

Get one to cover yourself and help with guidelines of child care/support/custody. You protect your family.

We had an informal one from the day he moved out until our first court appearance. Then a formal one that lasted until court ordered CS and custody arragements about 6 mos later.

It was very helpful. He was unstable and the legal consequences motivated his family to get him to respect some basic boundaries.

Later, it helped my lawyer to draft custody and financial offers. It was harder for him to argue that he was unaware of certain things or would never agree to xyz when it was so well-documented with his sworn signature.

Yes. It's HIGHLY encouraged, even in simple, uncontested, amicable divorces where no one is asking for anything other than a divorce decree.

At the hearing, it's often the very first thing the Master asks for to be entered into the record.

The agreement can really protect you, too, if the other party decides later to fight or demand something else. Not to say it will absolutely prevent that, but it goes a long way towards protecting you because it's a binding contract.

No reason NOT to do one.

Nope. No agreement necessary if both desire to be divorced ASAP. Just don't let him sleep over in your bed even one time, or the one year clock starts over. I'm sure your attorney will tell you the same.

I am married with 2 kids - possibly separating from DW. We have two kids. Did you have a separation agreement to govern the required 1-year separation period? What did it cover? Did you have to go to court during the separation to enforce it? Did it make for a smoother divorce?