Anonymous
06/30/2017 20:11
Subject: Re:Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
Anonymous wrote:Unusually for the DCUM demographic, *I* am the one that formula feeds, while both my mom and MIL breastfed their kids nearly exclusively into toddlerhood. They've not been truly unkind about it, though.
This is kind of a strange one, but for some reason my MIL is really appalled that I use Rent the Runway. She has never articulated why, but she doesn't stop rudely commenting about it. She was staying with us once for an event when the package arrived, and since then it's been nonstop commentary any time she sees me dressed up. I use RtR maybe three times a year, but she mentions something any time I wear something nice. The day she found out what it was and that I used the service was akin to her finding out I shoplifted - incredulous, disappointed, etc. Very bizarre.
She's probably just jealous that she had to buy dresses for cocktail parties and be stuck with them for years, and you get a new dress for a wedding for a fraction of the price! I loved RTR when I had an Unlimited subscription. I still do it every now and then for major parties, etc. LOVE!
Anonymous
06/30/2017 20:04
Subject: Re:Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
Unusually for the DCUM demographic, *I* am the one that formula feeds, while both my mom and MIL breastfed their kids nearly exclusively into toddlerhood. They've not been truly unkind about it, though.
This is kind of a strange one, but for some reason my MIL is really appalled that I use Rent the Runway. She has never articulated why, but she doesn't stop rudely commenting about it. She was staying with us once for an event when the package arrived, and since then it's been nonstop commentary any time she sees me dressed up. I use RtR maybe three times a year, but she mentions something any time I wear something nice. The day she found out what it was and that I used the service was akin to her finding out I shoplifted - incredulous, disappointed, etc. Very bizarre.
This is kind of a strange one, but for some reason my MIL is really appalled that I use Rent the Runway. She has never articulated why, but she doesn't stop rudely commenting about it. She was staying with us once for an event when the package arrived, and since then it's been nonstop commentary any time she sees me dressed up. I use RtR maybe three times a year, but she mentions something any time I wear something nice. The day she found out what it was and that I used the service was akin to her finding out I shoplifted - incredulous, disappointed, etc. Very bizarre.
Anonymous
06/30/2017 20:00
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
My parents think I'm some kind of nazi mom for not giving my toddler juice.
Anonymous
06/30/2017 20:00
Subject: Re:Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Things we do that our parents disapprove of:
Breastfeeding (I don't even exclusively breastfeed but the fact that I do it at all is A Thing for them)
Room sharing for the first few months
Playing video games ever (isn't even a daily thing but my mother things any video games are trash)
Same as OP with eating fast food on road trips
DH and I share a car instead of having two vehicles
Meatless Mondays
DH has rheumatoid arthritis and takes meds for it. My mother thinks he just needs some apple cider vinegar and coconut oil and he'll be cured and the meds are just poisoning him.
Things we don't do/don't allow that our parents think we're nuts for:
Not diluting formula (even though they know DD is very low percentile weight wise and needs to gain)
Not giving newborn DD water
Not introducing solids before 4 months
Not allowing anyone to hold DD immediately after they've smoked
Omg that is my mom. What is with the apple cider vinegar??
LOL...NP here. It's something they probably saw on Dr. Oz or heard that Dr. Phil did one time, or something. My mom is always telling me stuff like "Oprah says soda is unhealthy," as if that is new news, and Oprah is the Surgeon General.
Anonymous
06/30/2017 19:59
Subject: Re:Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
Anonymous wrote:Things we do that our parents disapprove of:
Breastfeeding (I don't even exclusively breastfeed but the fact that I do it at all is A Thing for them)
Room sharing for the first few months
Playing video games ever (isn't even a daily thing but my mother things any video games are trash)
Same as OP with eating fast food on road trips
DH and I share a car instead of having two vehicles
Meatless Mondays
DH has rheumatoid arthritis and takes meds for it. My mother thinks he just needs some apple cider vinegar and coconut oil and he'll be cured and the meds are just poisoning him.
Things we don't do/don't allow that our parents think we're nuts for:
Not diluting formula (even though they know DD is very low percentile weight wise and needs to gain)
Not giving newborn DD water
Not introducing solids before 4 months
Not allowing anyone to hold DD immediately after they've smoked
YESSS to breastfeeding being "A Thing" with both my mom and DH's mom. And let me be clear: I do supplement with formula--I think formula is wonderful nutrition, is often convenient, and I am greatful for it. And I've never once asked mom/MIL why they didn't breastfeed, etc. So this isn't me being a moony-eyed Breast ONLY type, this is just me making what I feel is the best choice for my family, and just getting on with it. But the ENDLESS comments about "Why on EARTH would you do THAT" was so. Freaking. Irritating.
I like this thread becasue wow, I'm not alone in this!
Anonymous
06/30/2017 19:38
Subject: Re:Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
Anonymous wrote:Things we do that our parents disapprove of:
Breastfeeding (I don't even exclusively breastfeed but the fact that I do it at all is A Thing for them)
Room sharing for the first few months
Playing video games ever (isn't even a daily thing but my mother things any video games are trash)
Same as OP with eating fast food on road trips
DH and I share a car instead of having two vehicles
Meatless Mondays
DH has rheumatoid arthritis and takes meds for it. My mother thinks he just needs some apple cider vinegar and coconut oil and he'll be cured and the meds are just poisoning him.
Things we don't do/don't allow that our parents think we're nuts for:
Not diluting formula (even though they know DD is very low percentile weight wise and needs to gain)
Not giving newborn DD water
Not introducing solids before 4 months
Not allowing anyone to hold DD immediately after they've smoked
Omg that is my mom. What is with the apple cider vinegar??
Anonymous
06/30/2017 19:31
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
They disagree on so many things I wouldn't know where to begin. I'm nothing like them and I'm living my own life. I figured this out when I was in my 20s and dealing with endless disapproval, and 30 years later, it's been a good attitude.
Anonymous
06/30/2017 19:12
Subject: Re:Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
Things we do that our parents disapprove of:
Breastfeeding (I don't even exclusively breastfeed but the fact that I do it at all is A Thing for them)
Room sharing for the first few months
Playing video games ever (isn't even a daily thing but my mother things any video games are trash)
Same as OP with eating fast food on road trips
DH and I share a car instead of having two vehicles
Meatless Mondays
DH has rheumatoid arthritis and takes meds for it. My mother thinks he just needs some apple cider vinegar and coconut oil and he'll be cured and the meds are just poisoning him.
Things we don't do/don't allow that our parents think we're nuts for:
Not diluting formula (even though they know DD is very low percentile weight wise and needs to gain)
Not giving newborn DD water
Not introducing solids before 4 months
Not allowing anyone to hold DD immediately after they've smoked
Breastfeeding (I don't even exclusively breastfeed but the fact that I do it at all is A Thing for them)
Room sharing for the first few months
Playing video games ever (isn't even a daily thing but my mother things any video games are trash)
Same as OP with eating fast food on road trips
DH and I share a car instead of having two vehicles
Meatless Mondays
DH has rheumatoid arthritis and takes meds for it. My mother thinks he just needs some apple cider vinegar and coconut oil and he'll be cured and the meds are just poisoning him.
Things we don't do/don't allow that our parents think we're nuts for:
Not diluting formula (even though they know DD is very low percentile weight wise and needs to gain)
Not giving newborn DD water
Not introducing solids before 4 months
Not allowing anyone to hold DD immediately after they've smoked
Anonymous
06/30/2017 19:12
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
They think we are weird for recycling.
Anonymous
06/30/2017 19:12
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
If the butter is left out of the fridge for more than a few minutes and has softened they think it has "gone bad" and needs to be thrown out. Super weird.
Anonymous
06/30/2017 19:09
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
Anonymous wrote:We visited my ILs when my oldest was 6 months and MIL told us we were "SO MEAN" because he was still rear facing in his car seat. "He can't see anything!"
My mom called me an "abusive mother" when I was visiting her with my young kids (including a 2 year old and a 4 year old) because I wanted to windows closed while they slept at night. It was HOT, but she refused to put on the air conditioner, because "we get such a lovely breeze." The windows in the 2nd story room we were sleeping in were low enough that the two year old could fall out, and in fact there had just been a story on the news a week before our visit about a toddler that had fallen out a window and died.
Both my MIL and my mom gave me crap for breastfeeding (I did supplement with formula, but they were adament for all formula all the time) and for "back is best." If I had a nickel for every time I heard, "Well, WE put you on your stomachs to sleep, and you were just FINE"...
Anonymous
06/30/2017 19:01
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
We visited my ILs when my oldest was 6 months and MIL told us we were "SO MEAN" because he was still rear facing in his car seat. "He can't see anything!"
My mom called me an "abusive mother" when I was visiting her with my young kids (including a 2 year old and a 4 year old) because I wanted to windows closed while they slept at night. It was HOT, but she refused to put on the air conditioner, because "we get such a lovely breeze." The windows in the 2nd story room we were sleeping in were low enough that the two year old could fall out, and in fact there had just been a story on the news a week before our visit about a toddler that had fallen out a window and died.
My mom called me an "abusive mother" when I was visiting her with my young kids (including a 2 year old and a 4 year old) because I wanted to windows closed while they slept at night. It was HOT, but she refused to put on the air conditioner, because "we get such a lovely breeze." The windows in the 2nd story room we were sleeping in were low enough that the two year old could fall out, and in fact there had just been a story on the news a week before our visit about a toddler that had fallen out a window and died.
Anonymous
06/30/2017 18:59
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
My ILs expect us to stay up late (11 p.m. or so) to greet them at the door, *then stay up and chat,* on the days that they CHOOSE to arrive very late on visits. They could leave the house whenever they want, and arrive much earlier (only a 4-hour drive), but for various factors and "traffic matricies," they choose to leave after dinner time and arrive late.
My husband and I leave the porch light on, key under the mat, and lights on in the living room and down the hall and in the guest bedroom. But we no longer stay up. We make sure they know we have our cell phones on and at our bedside in case they truly need help. But they think we are terribly rude "not to greet our guests." That's just not how it's "done."
My husband and I leave the porch light on, key under the mat, and lights on in the living room and down the hall and in the guest bedroom. But we no longer stay up. We make sure they know we have our cell phones on and at our bedside in case they truly need help. But they think we are terribly rude "not to greet our guests." That's just not how it's "done."
Anonymous
06/30/2017 18:44
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
For my parents, it's wasting food and I don't even think we are that wasteful. Whenever they leave I have every single Tupperware filled with two bites of leftover food. If I buy a rotissiere chicken, they insist we need to boil it to make broth or soup. My husband and I have a standing joke of trying to get rid of the rotisierre bones before they can get their hands on them. They would use leftovers from 1.5 weeks ago. My limit is 4-5 days.
Anonymous
06/30/2017 18:40
Subject: Things you do 'your way' and parents/ILs disapprove
What are the things you do a certain way that meets with certain disapproval from your parents or ILs?
For me, the list includes:
-Eating fast food/at restaurants the very few times a year we go on road trips. ILs are horrified that we would go to Cracker Barrell rather than carting half our refridgerator around in a cooler.
-Keeping flour in the refridgerator. This is my husband's "thing"; I don't care at all, but my mom is HORRIFIED that we do this.
-Not folding laundry the NANOSECOND it comes out of the dryer. We never let it sit for more than about half a day, but my MIL always acts like we are nuts and makes a point to be all, "The dryer has stopped; the dryer stopped, did you know?!"
Just silly stuff, but curious to know what this dynamic is like for others.
For me, the list includes:
-Eating fast food/at restaurants the very few times a year we go on road trips. ILs are horrified that we would go to Cracker Barrell rather than carting half our refridgerator around in a cooler.
-Keeping flour in the refridgerator. This is my husband's "thing"; I don't care at all, but my mom is HORRIFIED that we do this.
-Not folding laundry the NANOSECOND it comes out of the dryer. We never let it sit for more than about half a day, but my MIL always acts like we are nuts and makes a point to be all, "The dryer has stopped; the dryer stopped, did you know?!"
Just silly stuff, but curious to know what this dynamic is like for others.