Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be creeped out if my spouse was jealous of the primary parent relationship with a newborn or infant.

The primary caregiver is reasonably closer to a baby.

Are you a lesbian mom?

How are lesbian moms different from "normal" moms?

Straight people who are this clueless just should not post in this section, if you have an incredibly stupid and offensive question to ask about LGBT issues and lack the basic analytical skill to begin examining your own questions then take your cluelessness to Off Topic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be creeped out if my spouse was jealous of the primary parent relationship with a newborn or infant.

The primary caregiver is reasonably closer to a baby.

Are you a lesbian mom?

How are lesbian moms different from "normal" moms?

Here let me fix this for you PP:
How are lesbian moms different from straight moms?

How are they different?

We're asked which one is the "real" mom. Some lesbian moms have to go to court to legally adopt their children. I didn't, but my wife did.
Other than that, I think we're all the same. Like straight moms, some of us are cool moms and some of us are dorky moms. Some of us are amazing moms and some of us are crappy moms. Like the majority of parents, we lead pretty boring lives.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be creeped out if my spouse was jealous of the primary parent relationship with a newborn or infant.

The primary caregiver is reasonably closer to a baby.

Are you a lesbian mom?

How are lesbian moms different from "normal" moms?

Here let me fix this for you PP:
How are lesbian moms different from straight moms?

How are they different?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be creeped out if my spouse was jealous of the primary parent relationship with a newborn or infant.

The primary caregiver is reasonably closer to a baby.

Are you a lesbian mom?

How are lesbian moms different from "normal" moms?

Here let me fix this for you PP:
How are lesbian moms different from straight moms?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be creeped out if my spouse was jealous of the primary parent relationship with a newborn or infant.

The primary caregiver is reasonably closer to a baby.

Are you a lesbian mom?

How are lesbian moms different from "normal" moms?

It's normal but this stage is temporary & will FLY by trust me!! Definitely work on introducing a bottle. Also your DW should do all diaper changes when she is home and be the primary for bathtime (great bonding opportunity).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be creeped out if my spouse was jealous of the primary parent relationship with a newborn or infant.

The primary caregiver is reasonably closer to a baby.

Are you a lesbian mom?

Forget "are you a lesbian mom?" I'm wondering if that poster is a parent at all. The notion of jealousy of the primary caregiver is well-known to both straight dads as well as lesbian moms. Intellectually folks know that the baby is closer to the primary caregiver. Emotionally, however, it's a different ball of wax. It's perfectly normal (not creepy) for one parent to feel jealous of the primary caregiver.

Anonymous wrote:I'd be creeped out if my spouse was jealous of the primary parent relationship with a newborn or infant.

The primary caregiver is reasonably closer to a baby.

Are you a lesbian mom?

Your wife needs to chill. She's gonna F everything up

I'd be creeped out if my spouse was jealous of the primary parent relationship with a newborn or infant.

The primary caregiver is reasonably closer to a baby.

I can definitely empathize with your wife. My wife gave birth to our son and was planning on exclusively breast feeding, and then she had a severe post-partum complication that meant we ended up needing to do some formula and pumping for quite a while (although she did end up breast feeding for a long time). I can't tell you how much it helped my bonding with my child to feed him with a bottle. When my wife went back to breastfeeding full-time, my son went through a phase where he really didn't want me at all, and that was tough - and even now as a toddler who has been weaned for a while he more often wants her for comfort. I am now expecting out second, and while I hope to breastfeed, we will try to also do some bottle feeding to help give my wife some time with our new child.

You will find your own balance, and it might involve bottle feeding or not. Like many things as a two-mom family, there are some similarities for the non-gestational parent to a dad, but I think for a lot of women it can still be quite different since it is outside the norm of the experience for most other women.

This is really common. There are many online/facebook groups for non-gestational moms-if you are hooked in to any IRL or online gay parenting communities they may be able to connect your wife with people who have been there.

Totally normal. And it will pass. Knowing that is huge.

I went through it with my wife. (I carried both kids.) It was sometimes hard for my wife to see that I was the only one that could soothe the baby. Ironically, there were so many times that I just didn't want to be that person. I was exhausted from nursing and lack of sleep.

Pump for a couple of feedings and give her the bottle. Leave the room. Let her be in charge of bathing alone. Let them have alone time so that she can figure it out. Have her come to each appt with the ped and be the one holding the baby.

When baby calms down with you nursing, and she appears "disappointed," tell her gently, "Honey this is temporary. It's just how it is right now. I'm the food source." Hell, show her this thread.

Finally, everyone just needs to be gentle with one another. You're all dealing with lack of sleep and this new person. Get help with meals and order groceries. Go for walks together in the evening.

The relationships that each of you have with your kid(s) will change. Our kids are now 14 and 10. There are periods when we're each "more connected" to one than the other parent. This is not a sprint--it's a marathon. You both have many, many more years to build this beautiful relationship with your child.

Congratulations to you both.

I would introduce a bottle - its sounds like its the same situation with Dad's. I would try to get baby on more of a feeding schedule and have her do more in the evening and weekend. They are bonded and it will happen naturally. Its not the issue. Depending on where she works, bring baby to her ever week or two for lunch. Let her do bath, bedtime and have their own rituals.

DS is our first and this time we both decided I would carry since I'm going to stay at home. She made about 3x more than I did and I wouldn't make much more than a good childcare center would cost. We made this decision together several years ago before we even started trying to have a baby. She's been great and was really supportive during my pregnancy but now that baby is here she's having a hard time adjusting to how often baby is with me versus her. We do a lot of cluster feedings so he's with me about 70% of the time and any other time he is with her. I also want him to be put down sometimes. I encouraged her to induce lactation so she could easier bond, but the process was too lengthy and her work schedule hectic. I've encouraged her to dry comfort nurse but she feels uncomfortable doing so. I do not want this new baby to put a stress on our relationship, so I'm wondering if we should just switch to bottles (at least for half the feeds) so she can feed him. It's imperative to me that they bond and that we can all three bond together, above all else.

All advice welcome.