Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:High drive - anyone who wants sex more than you do
Low drive - anyone who wants sex less than you do

OP here, this is how I'm reading it in this forum, too.

Its the start of sexless marriages. No matter how often they have sex the "high drive" spouse makes the "low drive" spouse feel like it is not enough. So they try to up their game to "enough" then they "high drive" spouse says it's not passionate enough.

The high drive spouse keeps moving the goal post until the "low drive" spouse gives up trying and viola.... sexless marriage.

It's the same reason men stop doing chores, it's never enough or appreciated enough so they stop trying.

Anonymous wrote:High drive - anyone who wants sex more than you do
Low drive - anyone who wants sex less than you do

OP here, this is how I'm reading it in this forum, too.

High drive - anyone who wants sex more than you do
Low drive - anyone who wants sex less than you do

I'm a woman, not married. Hight would be wanting it more than 5 times/week. Low would be not wanting it more than 2 or 3 times per month. But I also agree that it's about the attitude too. If you are generally affectionate towards each other and care how each other feels the numbers don't matter much. If you just want to climb on top of me 5 times a week I'm not going to like that very much.

High drive - "Sorry, but 3x a week just isn't enough"

Low drive - ""Sorry, 3x a month is too much"

Probably need to categorize by gender.

I would consider a man who wanted sex every day to be high drive a 3x a week to be average. A 3x a week woman is high drive, 1x a week woman is average.

I would use a Bell shape curve. 20% low drive, 60% average and 20% high drive with the average being age dependent. If the average for a certain age group is 1X per week, then high drive would be 3+ a week and low drive would be less than 3X per month.

High drive is wanting lots of sex. Low drive is not wanting much sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Technically, high drive would be someone who wants sex more often than average, while low drive would be the opposite. And average would, of course, depend on age. In my case, as a married guy in my late 40s, average is supposedly a few (2-3ish) times a month. I'd like more than that, but DW is only interested 1-2 times a month.

I can't believe that the average 40-something man only WANTS sex 2-3 times a month.

I can't believe that anybody considers 2-3 per MONTH to be AVERAGE.
I would never stay (faithfully) married at that level, nevermind your DW interest of 1-2 per month.

Anonymous wrote:Average- 1-3x a week

Low Drive- Less than once a week

High Drive- More than 3x a week

Agreed

Anonymous wrote:Technically, high drive would be someone who wants sex more often than average, while low drive would be the opposite. And average would, of course, depend on age. In my case, as a married guy in my late 40s, average is supposedly a few (2-3ish) times a month. I'd like more than that, but DW is only interested 1-2 times a month.

I can't believe that the average 40-something man only WANTS sex 2-3 times a month.

Average- 1-3x a week

Low Drive- Less than once a week

High Drive- More than 3x a week

Anonymous wrote:How would you define high drive? How would you define low drive? Is it in relation to your spouse or S/O?

It is not a number, but more of a attitude. High drive to me means always ready, or willing to try to be ready. Low mean they do not want to put out the effort.

I consider myself high drive. When I was younger, I (male) could go all night, and did on occasion. Now, in my 50's, that is not the case.

On the other hand, my wife, well, is never in the mood, and rejects almost all attempts to be in the mood. From a numbers perspective, we have sex at most once every 2 months. This has been the case since we conceived our kid.

The only times she was "ready and willing" was before marriage, and while we were trying to have a kid.

Oh, and I make sure she is satisfied -- that is not the problem.

Technically, high drive would be someone who wants sex more often than average, while low drive would be the opposite. And average would, of course, depend on age. In my case, as a married guy in my late 40s, average is supposedly a few (2-3ish) times a month. I'd like more than that, but DW is only interested 1-2 times a month.

How would you define high drive? How would you define low drive? Is it in relation to your spouse or S/O?