Until he is able to dunk his head swimming lessons are a waste of money, unless you get someone who understands special needs and is able to create a program where the first X lessons are devoted just to that, building up to getting his head wet.

My kid was the same way at age 7. The first swim lesson wasn't a disaster exactly, but the instructor clearly didn't have any ideas on how to encourage my son to do it. DS and I spent a week between the first and second lesson practicing putting his face in. I made up a little hierarchy of achievements (I don't remember what, but it was like chin wet, mouth wet, top of forehead, etc.) and my kid got a little toy each time he could do it. For the actual face dunks we first did it on hands and knees in the baby pool but that may have been worse because it was hard to keep water out of his nose.

The last few achievements were the hardest because he really wanted the toy but really didn't want to dunk all the way under. There were a lot of tears but I just told him he could do it whenever he was ready, I would never force him, but he couldn't get the toy until he did it (they were collectable mashem's and stuff like that). He finally did it and was so proud, and very quickly learned to swim after that. I had to break out the toy system for a couple more things, like jumping in and jumping off the diving board, but it didn't take long.

So, if your son could be motivated by money, or a toy, or whatever, I would start with just head dunking/face in water stuff. Would he do that with you? Does he have a therapist? Obviously the therapist won't go to the pool but what if they assigned things as "homework"?

And this was a huge deal for my kid. Stickers or little candies would NOT have been reinforcing enough. Each of these toys cost 4 or 5 dollars and I probably spent close to $150 in all, maybe more. But one psychologist appointment is at least that mush out of pocket, so I considered it money well spent.

I wouldn't force it. I hate my head in the water too. My parents forced lessons for years. I could swim a basic stroke but hated it. You can use a swim cap to cover his ears and maybe a nose plug for his nose and that may help. I'd wait till he asks for lessons, if ever. Its a good idea to know to swim, but if forced, its a disaster.

I have no experience with them, but I did recently see an advertisement for Sensory Swim -- https://www.sensoryswim.com/

It looks like they teach at Kids First Swim School locations in Chantilly and Springfield in VA.

If he gets used to the sense of his body in water, he could work up to dog padding. when he's ready to float on his back or dunk his face you may want to get ear plugs too.

I don't think it's such a unique problem just not many people who can address it.

It's probably not just about getting his hair wet but also positioning himself physically to be able to get his hair wet. If he only wants to be where he can touch the bottom it could be control, sensory, and/or fear of drowning. I think its important not to get into "arguments." The arguing is just another way for him to exert control and avoid something he's scared to or doesn't want to do.

If a previous teacher dunked him unexpectedly, it probably scared him and made him feel out of control. Find someone who will work on building his trust as well as his confidence.

So if he's in the pool, you could work on hopping on one foot, jumping with two feet, pulling his knees up to his chest then landing on his feet, bending his knees and treading water with his arms. All of these things can be done in the shallow end and without putting his head in the water.

OP here....

He showers and washes his hair with no difficulty. The issue seems to be submerging his head rather than running it under water OR is something pool specific, it's hard to tell. He has a huge amount of anxiety about the pool for some reason. He is very verbal and can out argue many adults, so it will take the right person. :/

He is now back in the pool but only where he can touch the bottom and he is clearly anxious the whole time. Maybe I just need to be patient? I was really hoping this was not such a unique problem.

I will look into the suggested folks. Thank you!

We worked with Dawn Traub at the City of Rockville Swim center for 5 years. She is an amazing instructor with lots of SN experience. You can call the Rockville Swim Center to arrange it.

Anonymous wrote:OP, how does he shower/bathe?

I've seen Shari Present mentioned on this forum. I don't have any personal experience with her or even if she still does classes.

Does your DC work with an OT or ABA therapist? They might be able to come up with a plan that would be gradual and build in incentives.

We used Shari last year for our typical kids. She was fine, but a little expensive and the lesson locations weren't very convenient. That said, she came highly recommended by a friend with a young child on the spectrum, and she was working with other special needs kids a few times when we arrived for our lesson and the prior lesson had not finished.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe just find a teenager to have fun with him vs. actual lessons. Some OT's or ABA may be willing to work with him. I've seen OT's advertise it but no sure where. Maybe then insurance would cover part of it.

I would not hire a teenager for this even if they were a certified life guard. If an 11 year old had a meltdown in the pool what would you expect the hired teen to do.

Maybe just find a teenager to have fun with him vs. actual lessons. Some OT's or ABA may be willing to work with him. I've seen OT's advertise it but no sure where. Maybe then insurance would cover part of it.

OP, how does he shower/bathe?

I've seen Shari Present mentioned on this forum. I don't have any personal experience with her or even if she still does classes.

Does your DC work with an OT or ABA therapist? They might be able to come up with a plan that would be gradual and build in incentives.

OP here. we have been on the not force it page for a long time. We can stay here... forcing anything is nonproductive, that's for sure. But since he is willing to get in the pool now it could be an opportunity. I am torn. I do worry about it as a safety thing. And I think it contributes to some self esteem issues- he would like to be able to do it, but can't quite get over the hump.

Sigh.

I would not force it. We thought british swim was a rip off in terms of cost and lessons.

British Swim School in Montgomery County has a program for children with special needs.

I have an 11 yo with high functioning ASD who is afraid to get his head wet. He could swim at 3 but developed a phobia and refused to go in the water. We've got him back in the pool but he is still anxious and not really swimming. I really worry about this as a basic safety issue. We are in arlington. Any recommendations for programs/instructors/whatever? where to go for help? He will not take any instruction from me. :/

thanks