Rule No. 1,

Unless someone is in physical danger stay out of other people's marriages.

Rule No. 2.

Even if you really want to stick your hands in and rummage around in someone else's marriage, see rule no. 1

FORGET it completely. None of your business. Hasn't happened, may never happen, either way who cares?

I would stay out of any personal drama involving neighbors. This isn't your best friend.

Why doesn't your DH talk to the DH who is about to have an affair instead of talking to the wife?

Try this in front of him when you're next together:

"Do you guys know the Smiths? They live a few blocks over. Well, Dave apparently did something really stupid. Apparently he screwed around with someone at work and Suzy found out. She's leaving him. Got a fancy lawyer and took the kids to live with her parents until he's out of the house. Can you imagine throwing it all away? Now he'll spend holidays alone and have to fork over thousands in child support. Plus, everyone thinks he's a dirtbag...so pathetic."

Not sure how old you are, but a handful of couples cheated in very public ways in our area (think: school, sports, neighborhood) when the kids were about to start middle school. Then they proceeded to date other parents from the school/team/neighborhood, and now we're all subjected to the drama at events. It's bizarre, and I find it rather befuddling that they aren't the least bit ashamed or embarrassed. Everyone else is embarrassed for them. No clue when adultery became acceptable...it's not.

You want to stay out if it. There are way too many people that don't want to know and have to confront the situation, would blame you as the messenger, or would be upset for a hot minute then take back a cheater because they see it better than being on her own.

Put the shoe on the other foot and say your neighbor came to you with that info about your DH. First you would question the source, are you going to believe someone you've known casually for a few years or your DH/father of your children? Assume DH will deny everything. Then if there is any inkling that it is true, you will be embarrassed around your neighbor knowing something private about your marriage, and feel judged/want no reminders if you stay with him despite knowing he cheated. I don't know if guys ever say anything to other guys, but I know if one of my female friends talked about cheating, I would encourage her to work on marriage or get out, rather than blow it up with cheating but at the end of the day, they are adults that have to live with consequences of their decision.

I'm trying to imagine this happening with our neighbors.

I would myob. Or I guess mmob (mind my own business).

Since I'm already fairly close with my neighbor (the wife), I might reach out and be a real friend. Maybe after I've worked up some courage to focus on other stuff..not the secret I know. After all this wife might go through some stuff around the corner, and she might need a kind friend around.

Guys like this *want* the marriage to explode. It's probably going to happen in the near future (minor exceptions/change of heart possible too.)

MYOB. It's an affair, he isn't murdering anyone.

Your husband was right to tell you but now you must together decide what to do. If you're uncomfortable, make your excuses and avoid them. I would.

Myob

You stay out of every other couple's mess. Threaten to stab your husband if he ever puts you in the position of facing the woman knowing her husband is cheating on her.

He was drunk and told your husband some things that maybe he should have kept to himself.

I would stay the hell out of that because it is not your business and you don't even know if he really feels that way or if it was the liquor talking after a spat with his wife.

Anonymous wrote:You don't say anything. It's not your place to say.

This. Work on pretending you don't know anything.

You don't say anything. It's not your place to say.

A few weekends ago our neighbor had a few too many drinks and started talking to my DH about how he's close to having a full blown affair and has already made some questionable choices. The neighbor asked him not to tell anyone, obviously. DH told me because he said it was a lot for him to know without being able to discuss with anyone.

I'm friendly with the neighbor's wife but not super close. Our kids are friendly. I know it's none of my business so of course I'm going to keep my mouth shut but I feel uncomfortable knowing all of this. We're supposed to hang out with them tomorrow with all of the kids. I have some pretty disgusting feelings toward the husband right now but I'm going to suck it up since we had made these plans a long time ago.

What is the protocol for moving forward? Obviously mind my own business but it's hard to stand by and know what's going on and watch her be oblivious especially when there are children involved. There is always the chance that she knows about it and is turning a blind eye. But there's also the greater chance that she would be crushed to find out about this. Do we just kind of phase them out so as to not be involved? We tend to hang out with them a lot during the summer so it would be obvious that we're avoiding them.

It's just a messy situation all around. My head tells me to stay out of it but my heart tells me that I would want someone to say something to me if they knew something like this about my husband.