I find it concerning that you're just hearing about this now. School is almost over for the year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He says he felt like doing it. He pees in the woods all the time. And I never thought it was an issue as long as others don't see it. We tell him when it's not appropriate. Now with this new development of urinating in the house I see there is something going on. Things are kind of tumultuous at home - a new baby a year ago, arguing with DH. We understand now that we really have to fix whatever needs to be fixed between us. He is very articulate and social. Loves his school and friends. We shower him with attention, read and sing for him every night.

1. Talk to your pediatrician to rule out a medical reason.

2. Please schedule an appointment with a developmental pediatrician b/c this behavior may have a root cause that he cannot articulate and not a reflection of you as parents. However, if he has this kind of repeated impulse control at 5, it probably not get easier for him as he gets older.

As a guy who has had lots of guy friends/family over the years and now has multiple male children - I can say that this doesn't strike me as abnormal and doesn't necessarily implicate bigger or longer term problems. For some reason, some guys like to pee on things. So don't freak out, but make clear it needs to stop. Maybe let the little guy pee in the yard every once in a while to get it out of his system....

I girl did this in my kindergarten class--I believe it was just once in the first week of school--but it stuck with her throughout elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He says he felt like doing it. He pees in the woods all the time. And I never thought it was an issue as long as others don't see it. We tell him when it's not appropriate. Now with this new development of urinating in the house I see there is something going on. Things are kind of tumultuous at home - a new baby a year ago, arguing with DH. We understand now that we really have to fix whatever needs to be fixed between us. He is very articulate and social. Loves his school and friends. We shower him with attention, read and sing for him every night.

1. Talk to your pediatrician to rule out a medical reason.

2. Please schedule an appointment with a developmental pediatrician b/c this behavior may have a root cause that he cannot articulate and not a reflection of you as parents. However, if he has this kind of repeated impulse control at 5, it probably not get easier for him as he gets older.

OP here. He says he felt like doing it. He pees in the woods all the time. And I never thought it was an issue as long as others don't see it. We tell him when it's not appropriate. Now with this new development of urinating in the house I see there is something going on. Things are kind of tumultuous at home - a new baby a year ago, arguing with DH. We understand now that we really have to fix whatever needs to be fixed between us. He is very articulate and social. Loves his school and friends. We shower him with attention, read and sing for him every night.

I would review with him what is proper and acceptable as far as where he can urinate. I watch 2 little boys and when they are playing in their backyard they just pee where ever instead of going in the house. He may have done this or seen someone do it. If it continues then you can think about talking to someone who can address other possible reasons. Kids act impulsively so he doesn't have an answer for your "why".

What do the teachers say about it? Has this happened repeatedly or just one time? It sounds repeated.

In my opinion, this is not typical behavior for a 5 year old. It's not surprising that he can't tell you why he does it, but I think you need to investigate this more. There could be a physical or psychological reason for it. At this age, I would assume it's physical or psychological, not a behavioral issue. I wouldn't punish him at home for it -- his teachers are probably handling it in the situation there -- but I would absolutely talk with your doctor immediately and then seek out other specialists as needed (maybe a therapist, if that's deemed relevant).

Does he have anxiety issues in general? Are there things going on at school or in his life that are stressful to him?

I wouldn't freak-out or assign any extra weight to him not being able to explain why he did it unless he's normally very articulate for 5.

I'd rule out medical, but assume it's behavioral: he's either scared of using the bathroom for some reason or he's copying behavior from somewhere.

I hope you've already made an appointment with his pediatrician, OP. Kids that young are not usually able to explain why they do things. Best to rule out anything medical first, and then explore behavior issues with a professional.

Is he highly anxious in general? Perhaps something scared him about using the bathroom, especially at school?

Doublecheck that husband or other male role model has not done this in front of son in some random moment and inadvertently taught this behavior.

I would start with your pediatrician to rule out any medical things.

First I'd make sure that there's not a medical reason for it (e.g. the urge to pee came suddenly due to an infection so he did it wherever was closest). He might feel embarrassed to admit that he's wetting himself again so might think it's better to be yelled at about it.

I'd be hesitant to try to treat it with discipline though. Sometimes going potty in strange places can be a sign of psychological distress. I knew a couple of foster kids with messed up situations who used to poop in strange places. It gave them a sense of control over an otherwise out of control life. Hope that's not the case for your boy... good luck!

I'd try handling it by just explaining to him in your serious-firm-parent-voice that he needs to use the toilet/urinal and not ever go outside of those again. Having a small consequence such as "if your teacher tells me you do that again there will be no dessert/video games/tv/whatever that evening" would also be appropriate. I wouldn't worry too much about getting an explanation from him... 5 year olds do weird things... maybe he saw another kid do it and doesn't want to tattle.

If it continues after talking to him, talk to the school about how they've been addressing it with him, and possibly set up a meeting with the school counselor. I work in the schools and have had to deal with similar situations... usually from kinder or 1st graders.

We just found out. The smell is so horrible and he just says he doesn't know why he does it. Anyone else has experienced this? What do we do? See a therapist?