yay! After sitting on it for a few days he actually came 'round to it himself. Total buy in. I love all this great advice and will be reading more about "mindset" - thank you so much, as this IS the issue, isn't it? And I love the trade-off system - will need to address that. Maybe even with music practice. We'll see - thanks again DCUM

Anonymous wrote:You can't. Most people are average either due to intelligence or drive. Yours appears to be the latter.

Here would be the classic example of someone who does NOT have a growth mindset. According to PP, everyone is who they are and there no chance for change or growth.

You can't. Most people are average either due to intelligence or drive. Yours appears to be the latter.

Anonymous wrote:Algebra in 8th grade is quite routine.

My kids were both doing 'trig in eighth grade.

Anonymous wrote:Algebra in 8th grade is quite routine.

This is true. Just assure your kid that many kids take in 7th, he can handle this!!

I encourage risk taking. My kid doesn't get a choice about advanced math and science classes. They're appropriate for him and he benefits from them. I make it clear that I'm fine with him getting a B in advanced math and science classes, but I would expect nothing less than an A in regular classes. For him, that's been enough to sweeten the pot.

I give him the option about advanced everything else. He's capable, but it doesn't mean he has to. For high school he's considering advanced history courses. I also make it clear that just because he steps out of regular classes one year doesn't mean he has to continue that path. If he doesn't like the advanced courses, then the next year (or whenever it's appropriate) he can move back to the regular courses.

I'll also negotiate. Advanced courses often come with more homework. In exchange for advanced courses, he gets to neglect some chores. Instead of doing the dishes every night, he'll do them twice a week and he gets to pick the nights. Lawn mowing goes from an expected chore to an additional chore, where he gets paid if he does it. Cleaning his bathroom becomes a once a week chore, and I do the daily wipe-down. I've told him this deal is only good as long as he's actually doing his homework and studying for his classes.

There's some great advice above!

I agree that this is less about grades and more about cultivating a "growth mindset" to prepare him to welcome challenges and tap into his intrinsic motivation for the long term.

There's tons of reserach about what this means, how to encourage/nurture it, and why it all matters.

Here's a short(ish) summary: http://www.westpoint.edu/cfe/Literature/Caluori_14.pdf

For more, check out Carol Dweck's book (Mindset) -- she's a Stanford professor and has done TONS of research to inform her recommendations.

Also, Google "Habits of Mind". Our school district uses this curriculum quite a bit to encourage "growth" mindsets and strong foundational skills to support learning and achiement.

It's terrific stuff that you can weave into your conversations and approach at home. It can be really helpful to everyone (parents and kids!)

Algebra in 8th grade is quite routine.

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful input - i appreciate it! op.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't give him the option. He can do Algebra I, so he will be doing it.

Make sure you're praising effort, not grades/results.

Agree with both pieces of advice. My DS1 had tendencies like this when he was this age. I didn't engage in much discussion about things like this. Algebra I in 8th grade is the default for a decent student. That's what he's doing next year. End of discussion.

I would stop talking about grades. Switch most of your conversations about school to what he is learning, what his favorite topics are, what's interesting to him. When the straight-A report card comes home, I would look at it and say, "Wow, you worked really hard this term!" and then I would put it aside and not mention it again. All the focus should be on *learning* not earning.

I wouldn't give him the option. He can do Algebra I, so he will be doing it.

Make sure you're praising effort, not grades/results.

I hate to say it but your child is not an underachiever if he is getting straight As. I would be over the moon if my child were getting straight As, that would mean that he was making an effort to do his best. Mine makes absolutely no effort and does not care what his rank is - he would be perfectly happy with all C's even though I know he is fully capable of all As if he tried or wanted to try. I think it's awesome that he wants to stay at the top of his class. Is he taking honors or Advanced classes? I would certainly encourage it - same content just more in-depth. Also, if he is breezing through math, meet with his teacher and get her recommendation. If the teacher says "he needs to take Algebra I" maybe he would be more inclined to do it. If not, just be proud of him and encourage him to keep up the good work.

I would give no choice about Alg 1 in 8th. It isn't advanced around here.

DS, 12, has discovered that he can get an A in any class with hardly trying (which says as much for the rigor of the school, I admit). There are no opportunities for grade-level enrichment - the only option is acceleration. He has plenty of time for more homework (plays one sport and practices one instrument) We believe he should go for algebra in 8th grade. Meet the challenge and get used to challenging himself, rather than languishing on his laurels.

He is resisting - classic underachiever. He prefers to be top of his class rather than risk this position by taking on a challenge.

Does anyone have any experience with this? How do you wrench your kid out of this trap? I appreciate your feedback -