Anonymous
04/29/2017 13:09
Subject: Re:Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Divorced 45 year old here. I was with exH for 21 years.
As someone else said, the dating scene is a lot better than I thought it would be. I'm in really good shape, average looks-wise, gainfully employed (lawyer), and have two young teen sons. I had no problem meeting smart, kind, sincere, and interesting men. I dated a lot of men during the first year I was on-line and have been with the same fantastic guy for two years.
My level skepticism about dipping my toe in the on-line thing was positively through the roof. Ultimately, I put a profile up with a nothing ventured, nothing gained attitude.
Confidence and candidness go a long way.
As someone else said, the dating scene is a lot better than I thought it would be. I'm in really good shape, average looks-wise, gainfully employed (lawyer), and have two young teen sons. I had no problem meeting smart, kind, sincere, and interesting men. I dated a lot of men during the first year I was on-line and have been with the same fantastic guy for two years.
My level skepticism about dipping my toe in the on-line thing was positively through the roof. Ultimately, I put a profile up with a nothing ventured, nothing gained attitude.
Confidence and candidness go a long way.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 12:18
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
^ NP. You have to heal from the pain (not necessarily forgiving but the pain that reflects a deficit in you) so you don't repeat history or delay the grief process.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 11:24
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:I can provide some insight, also separated after 20 years with my ex. Aside from scheduling issues with 50/50 custody dating has been easier that I thought. Unfortunately online is the easiest way to meet people. I used Bumble until I found a FWB (all I was looking for) then deleted my account. I liked Bumble because I felt a lot more in control of my interactions than other options. It is exhausting but if you want to devote the time you could interact with several different men per day. You have to have thick skin and there are some weirdos out there.
I'm an average looking woman with a few pounds to lose and I've had no issues finding people to date.. I'm also comfortable in my own skin, Im a genuinely happy person and I love myself.
The main suggestion I have is to make sure you are healed from the dissolution of your marriage before you try to date. My ex started dating two seconds after we split so I thought I needed to compete and jumped into the dating world. Way too soon. It was a disaster on so many levels and I did meet a few guys who would be great if I had met them when I was ready.
Can you elaborate on why you weren't ready ?
Anonymous
04/29/2017 11:17
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
OP, what are you looking for? someone to socialize with? a friend with benefits? a new husband? do you want more children? What are you looking for in a guy?
Anonymous
04/29/2017 11:07
Subject: Re:Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous
04/29/2017 10:58
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
I can provide some insight, also separated after 20 years with my ex. Aside from scheduling issues with 50/50 custody dating has been easier that I thought. Unfortunately online is the easiest way to meet people. I used Bumble until I found a FWB (all I was looking for) then deleted my account. I liked Bumble because I felt a lot more in control of my interactions than other options. It is exhausting but if you want to devote the time you could interact with several different men per day. You have to have thick skin and there are some weirdos out there.
I'm an average looking woman with a few pounds to lose and I've had no issues finding people to date.. I'm also comfortable in my own skin, Im a genuinely happy person and I love myself.
The main suggestion I have is to make sure you are healed from the dissolution of your marriage before you try to date. My ex started dating two seconds after we split so I thought I needed to compete and jumped into the dating world. Way too soon. It was a disaster on so many levels and I did meet a few guys who would be great if I had met them when I was ready.
I'm an average looking woman with a few pounds to lose and I've had no issues finding people to date.. I'm also comfortable in my own skin, Im a genuinely happy person and I love myself.
The main suggestion I have is to make sure you are healed from the dissolution of your marriage before you try to date. My ex started dating two seconds after we split so I thought I needed to compete and jumped into the dating world. Way too soon. It was a disaster on so many levels and I did meet a few guys who would be great if I had met them when I was ready.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 10:50
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Anonymous wrote:DCUm, tell me how is the dating scene in NOVA for a 40yr old divorced mom? I'm separated, haven't dated in years (duh!) so I have no idea how it is to meet a nice man in this area.
Your personality will dictate about 70% of success, overall attitude and expectations about 15%, looks about 15%.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 10:47
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
I'm 42 with two kids in elementary school aged kids that said it's a marathon. There are men to date but it's not easy and they're not available-be it emotionally or otherwise. Lots of great people though.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 10:37
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
OP here, two kids, elementary age
Anonymous
04/29/2017 10:25
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Agree with PPs that it's much better than I expected.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 10:21
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Hope this isn't related to the "wife of 12 yrs unhappy" thread.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 10:17
Subject: Re:Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
How many children and ages? Sometimes that can limit your options with men who are wiling to play second fiddle.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 10:15
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
Take breaks because it gets tiring. Lots of people to date but they all come with various forms of unavailability. My advice is to approach it like a marathon.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 09:29
Subject: Re:Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
In my experience (divorced with a child, early 40s, average looking), it was better than I expected. I was terrified at first and didn't think anyone would want to go out with me, but there are plenty of people out there. I've gone on a lot of first days, fewer second and third dates, and had a few longer stretches of dating someone. It does get tiring over time, and I've taken breaks when I felt like it wasn't bringing me joy. I used OKC for online dating.
Anonymous
04/29/2017 08:21
Subject: Dating scene for a 40 yr. old divorced mom
DCUm, tell me how is the dating scene in NOVA for a 40yr old divorced mom? I'm separated, haven't dated in years (duh!) so I have no idea how it is to meet a nice man in this area.