Anonymous wrote:curious about what it was about the Easter vigil that drove him over the edge. too morbid? too boring? something political?

personally, if you really have decided not to be catholic, you shouldn't pretend and have your youngest do first communion. that does not seem honest to me.

also, keep in mind that you yourself can stay catholic. it's not your DH's decision!

Maybe OP wants to make it easy in case her child wants to return to Catholicism as an adult

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP: I am older (60) and was raised in a very Catholic home.....only attended catholic schools. I raised my kids catholic. Checked off all the sacrament and sometimes sent them to catholic school.
I REGRET RAISING MY KIDS CATHOLIC.
There is a whole work outside Catholicism that is loving, kinder and more accepting than any catholic community I have seen. I wish I raised my kids any of the Protestant communities ( I prefer Methodist). There are great programs throughout their development that embrace our values much better than the catholic world we raised them in. (Catholics don't tend to mix with other Christian communities)
Here is an example:
https://www.younglife.org/Pages/default.aspx

Good luck. Keep an open mind. You just may be pleasantly surprised.

I AGREE.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no to HT. There are an number of things that have happened but the straw that broke the back was accidentally attending the Great Easter Vigil last week when we both thought it was a regular Mass. Big surprise and not a good one.

I was not going to reply because I don't have a young family, but I could not resist. You are not alone. I had a very, very bad experience at HT. I looked around in DC, MD and VA. I am finished, too. Never going back. There are so many churches in the area, you will surely find one that's right for your entire family.

Go through with first Communion and Confirmation but there is life on the other side of the Catholic Church with a family. I reached a breaking point when my children were young after a very Catholic upbringing. We are now at a Presbyterian Church that is heavily ex-Catholics. I get it with Easter vigil, a number of years ago I saw someone taken out in an ambulance from Holy Trinity well into a mass that seemed to include every Sacrament except for holy orders. At that point I left and went out to dinner.

Did I write the OP's post in my sleep without knowing?

We have so much in common, OP. My Protestant DH went to Mass with me for years but stopped recently (was especially furious about how the sex scandal was handled). My kids were just short of confirmation when I realized hey, I want a more personal relationship with God and not just man-made rituals.

We go to a Protestant church now and I only wish I'd done it sooner!

curious about what it was about the Easter vigil that drove him over the edge. too morbid? too boring? something political?

personally, if you really have decided not to be catholic, you shouldn't pretend and have your youngest do first communion. that does not seem honest to me.

also, keep in mind that you yourself can stay catholic. it's not your DH's decision!

Sounds like a big knee-jerk reaction based on a single liturgy you were not prepared for. Personally I would make my own decision on my faith separate from my DH, then I would be angry with him for venting his personal frustrations on children, then I would let the kids receive the sacraments if they so choose (especially the one receiving Confirmation since that is a sacrament that should have personal significance at that age)

I was born and raised Catholic and feel my experience has given me a great personal relationship with God. I have had some wonderful discussions with clergy and feel they have really helped foster my family's faith life. I'm sorry that your DH reacted so badly to a long Mass.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no to HT. There are an number of things that have happened but the straw that broke the back was accidentally attending the Great Easter Vigil last week when we both thought it was a regular Mass. Big surprise and not a good one.

Yeah -- Easter vigil can be a killer -- even for Catholics. Quite over the top.

Try the Episcopalian church. My mother was raised Catholic and my father was Anglican. She found a home in the Episcopalian church.

What are the things about Catholicism that don't work for your DH?

Why does you H need to go to church?

My H does not.

I got my kids through confirmation. It seems reasonable to finish communion and then stop, or to finish through confirmation. My brother just baptized his kids but they eventually asked for the sacraments (mostly because of cousins) and then did the sacraments in HS. I also have brothers that are either nothing or other forms of Christian.

I have tons of issues with the mass and our local churches. I discuss those issues with my children. You should discuss them with your children so they are educated on all sides of the issue. Your H should explain his issues with the Catholic religion to your kids.

Why not take them to both churches and let them decide themselves.

My kids go to Catholic school and they have learned about all religions. Most of their friends either are not Catholic or have 1 parent that is not Catholic.

We are still culturally Catholic and try to live a good, kind, empathetic, compassionate life.

I like to read this... http://www.americamagazine.org/

Hi OP: I am older (60) and was raised in a very Catholic home.....only attended catholic schools. I raised my kids catholic. Checked off all the sacrament and sometimes sent them to catholic school.
I REGRET RAISING MY KIDS CATHOLIC.
There is a whole work outside Catholicism that is loving, kinder and more accepting than any catholic community I have seen. I wish I raised my kids any of the Protestant communities ( I prefer Methodist). There are great programs throughout their development that embrace our values much better than the catholic world we raised them in. (Catholics don't tend to mix with other Christian communities)
Here is an example:
https://www.younglife.org/Pages/default.aspx

Good luck. Keep an open mind. You just may be pleasantly surprised.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - no to HT. There are an number of things that have happened but the straw that broke the back was accidentally attending the Great Easter Vigil last week when we both thought it was a regular Mass. Big surprise and not a good one.

What was the surprise about the Easter Vigil? You're talking about the service on Saturday night, correct?

OP here - no to HT. There are an number of things that have happened but the straw that broke the back was accidentally attending the Great Easter Vigil last week when we both thought it was a regular Mass. Big surprise and not a good one.

Yes, I agree with you. Get the children's sacraments all done. Also, what parish are you in? Can your husband not even handle a parish like Holy Trinity?

Born and raised Catholic married a Protestant. Married in Catholic church down south w/o Mass. In the eyes of the church (priest) I agreed to raise any future children as Catholics so long as it did not bring strife to the marriage. Several children later, my DH as been willing to sit in Mass every week and has been mostly supportive of children attending CCD. I will say that it helped greatly that for a number of years we lived up north in a much less conservative area. Now we are here in northern Virginia, tried Arlington Diocese and now Diocese of DC. Let's just say my DH has lost patience with everything Catholic church related and has told the kids were are done w/o consulting me first. In his defense, I have absolutely thought of seeking out a church that does more to foster a personal relationship with God and is more meaningful for all of us. Now for my question - Our oldest child is on track to be confirmed next year as an eight grader. Our youngest is set to receive 1st communion in 3 weeks. I feel strongly that we should let our youngest receive 1st communion before we leave, that way all 3 children have received the same sacraments. Does this make any sense? I guess no matter what I will always consider myself Catholic and part of me is sad to leave. Would appreciate any insight if you were in similar situation.