as a parent, this doesnt bother me.

When giving a gift, i would imagine that the parent whos child is receiving the gift has a lot more knowledge about what their child likes.

Maybe the kid likes soccer, and I buy them a football. OOPS. kid likes transformers and I buy them a GI Joe... Legos Vs Lincoln logs...

Anonymous wrote:It's not about a lack of gratitude for the gifts themselves. It's that they don't want to put the time into thinking about what the child might like. I get it.

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Anonymous wrote: I really dislike when people ask me what to get my kids (3 and 6) as gifts for their birthdays or whatever. I spend enough time trying to figure out what to get them myself and I feel like it also shows a total lack of interest is thinking about what they might like. I know it sounds ungrateful and they might be just trying to get the kids something that they would like. Does this bug anyone else? What is wrong with me?

Downright odd. Why is it a like a state secret that you have to guard -- your kids' interests, preferences, sizes, etc. -- if someone is being kind enough to try to get something that they hope the children will like? Oddest thing I've read on DCUM today.

It's not about a lack of gratitude for the gifts themselves. It's that they don't want to put the time into thinking about what the child might like. I get it.

"She loves books and crafts".


Just have two go to items that you always tell everyone, and then let it go.

It's never occurred to me to interpret it as anything other than them wanting to get something my kid likes. I've asked people too - not out of laziness, but a sincere desire to get the kid something they're into.

Do you seem ungrateful? Well yes, a little. To get upset at someone who is trying to get the right gift for your child is a bit ungracious, no?

If it's your spouse asking, that's one thing.

But who else--even a grandparent or an aunt--would know:
1) Child's current size (it changes FAST)
2) Child's current wishes/preferences (they change FAST)
3) What you already have/have too much of
4) What you, as a parent, don't want them to have (even if they want it)?

You are being ungrateful and odd, OP. If you really want ideas/want them to think of something from "their perspective," just tell them so!

I feel the exact opposite. I was asked by my MIL to start an amazon wish list, which at first I thought was very tacky to have, but now love it.

I don't WANT people giving my kids tons of Disney or Barbie crap. I don't want them giving my kids cheap plastic toys that make lots of sounds.

I'm glad I don't know you. Neither you nor your kids would get anything from me if I did.

Anonymous wrote: I really dislike when people ask me what to get my kids (3 and 6) as gifts for their birthdays or whatever. I spend enough time trying to figure out what to get them myself and I feel like it also shows a total lack of interest is thinking about what they might like. I know it sounds ungrateful and they might be just trying to get the kids something that they would like. Does this bug anyone else? What is wrong with me?

You're their mom and it takes you time to figure out what they want, and you're questioning other people for not knowing what they want. Seriously?

I *love* it. Because then I can steer them towards something useful which will not just clutter up our house b/c the kids do not like it. MIL tends to give the kids gifts things that SHE wants them to do (a set of golf clubs for my 9yo who is a competitive pre-professional dancer?) and so many times, I've just been like, "Why didn't you just ASK me what she wants, or could use??" It is a complete puzzle to me.

Give general ides, he likes crafts, she likes outdoor toys,

Anonymous wrote: I really dislike when people ask me what to get my kids (3 and 6) as gifts for their birthdays or whatever. I spend enough time trying to figure out what to get them myself and I feel like it also shows a total lack of interest is thinking about what they might like. I know it sounds ungrateful and they might be just trying to get the kids something that they would like. Does this bug anyone else? What is wrong with me?

You are ungrateful. They're not asking because they are lazy, they're asking because most kids are really into something and would prefer specific gifts. You are lucky anyone even cares to get your kids a gift.

It kind of bugs me because I want other people's ideas, not mine. I also have a hard time with ideas. Sometimes I suggest they get whatever something their kid particularly loved getting at last birthday or holiday.

I really dislike when people ask me what to get my kids (3 and 6) as gifts for their birthdays or whatever. I spend enough time trying to figure out what to get them myself and I feel like it also shows a total lack of interest is thinking about what they might like. I know it sounds ungrateful and they might be just trying to get the kids something that they would like. Does this bug anyone else? What is wrong with me?